


Sunflowers

by Iggy_McBabyface



Category: Everyman HYBRID, Marble Hornets, Tribe Twelve
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, I sometimes couldn't even find pictures, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentally unstable characters, Mentions of Pedophilia, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of incest, Murder, Obsessive Behavior, Psychological Torture, Stalking, Torture, Toxic Relationship, asshole characters, descriptions of real life sites the author has never seen, seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2019-10-06 22:18:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 48
Words: 64,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17353652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iggy_McBabyface/pseuds/Iggy_McBabyface
Summary: For the first time in his life Tim is happy. He has friends, the perfect boyfriend and for once isn't failing classes. Everything is great. But then bodies start turning up and Tim is losing time.I have a beta reader now. She'sUseless_Fanfictionsand a really good writer. I'll be updating all currently written chapters whenever she finishes with them.





	1. Cover

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything in around six years, so I thought I'd try again. Not sure if I'll continue this though. That depends on whether anyone even likes this? Do tell. Do you want more of this or is my writing garbage and not worth further pursuing? By the way, this is just a prologue. Actual chapters would be around 1000-2000 words long.


	2. pi{z.o&KzknKNtKnKM0>pd4r8pi/cIo*?A.o&KznnKMo#nKNhBnKM0>pd4r(o&KL]o&KzonKNtInKM0(peKeq

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of now I have a beta reader, the lovely [Useless_Fanfictions](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Useless_Fanfictions/pseuds/Useless_Fanfictions). If you're into Supernatural, go and read her stuff. Or even if you're not. It's really good.

Muddled thoughts, half formed words. Swirling. Chasing one another. ‘Escape. Have to. Escape.’

Blood slicked hands try to grab onto something. Anything. Heavy lungs draw in trembling breaths, mouth wide open in horror. A sharp spike of pain to the back. More warmth pouring over the battered body. Tears gather and fall from panic stricken eyes.

“P-please! I’ll do anything!” A throat so raw it tears up and out of their bloodied mouth.

An expressionless mask. A sharp knife, covered in blood, raised above. It plunges down again. And again. And again. Tearing through flesh. Dark red liquid pooling in the wounds. Overflowing. Splattering across the ceiling. The walls. The floor. Turning the entire room into a horrific surreal painting.

“Pathetic piece of shit,” spitefully muttered.

The last thing to register in a traumatised brain. Darkness. And then nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C5


	3. 01

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Here's the first chapter. Still not sure if it's any good. Hope you like it. By the way, I don't live in Alabama. Not even the US. So I'm sorry about any mistakes concerning locations and such. Feel free to correct me should you spot any. The same goes for spelling and grammar by the way. English isn't my mother tongue, so those are bound to happen.

Tim does not like class, there’s too many people, it’s too loud, too... everything. He’d much rather enjoy studying on his own, preferably in his dorm, but as life would have it most of his courses attendance is mandatory.

Which is why he is here. Room 201 a. B. B. Comer Hall. University of Alabama. It feels cramped. As if the fifty other pairs of lungs in the room suck all the oxygen out of the air, leaving him to suffocate. His sweaty palms make it hard to grip his pen. A fine tremor shaking his fingers. The writing on the damp page in front of him scratchy and barely legible.

“Hey Tim. You okay?”

Brian Thomas. The only ray of sunlight in this otherwise unbearable life. With a turn of the head, he was looking into oh-so-blue eyes. Seeing that oh-so-perfect warm smile. That cute gap between his front teeth. Sunflowers bloom in Tim’s heart. The corners of his mouth barely twitch upwards.

“Yeah, I’m good,” he says.

One of those oh-so-perfect brows is raised questioningly. “If you say so.”

Back to listening to the professor drone on about one thing or another. Back to trying to coherently write everything down. Tim’s eyes wander, they study Brian’s profile: his straight nose, strong jaw, thin lips, mop of dark blonde, curly hair. His blue eyes glance right back at him.

Tim’s cheeks feel hot, but those eyes won’t look away. He knows he is staring. Knows he should pay attention to the professor, but Brian is the sun and he the moth. No matter what, he’ll always be drawn to him.

A quiet chuckle. A hand seeking out his. Strong fingers gripping onto clammy ones. Tim’s heart a drum in his chest, echoing, loudly. The heat. The elation. He doesn’t want to ever let go.

Brian is his first. His first… well, everything. Friend. Crush. And, since three days ago, boyfriend. They have yet to do anything more than hold hands, but he is already the happiest he’s ever been.

***

Alex is staring again. There’s this angry tension in his brow and around the corners of his mouth. Why Alex seems to hate him, Tim doesn’t know. He gets along pretty well enough with everyone else in their group, or more like Brian’s group. Tim’s not sure if he can actually count himself as a part of them.

The one he’s closest to, besides Brian, is Jay. Jay is… curious. In every sense of the word. He’s always wearing that old cap of his, and for some reason he follows Alex like a lost puppy. If Tim didn’t know any better, he might think the guy is in love with him. That theory, though, is contradicted by Jay’s obvious attraction to a girl called Jessica.

She too is one of Brian’s friends. She’s a rather quiet one, but not shy by any means. She simply prefers to stay in the background, letting her friends take the reins. Only interfering when she deems it absolutely necessary. She is also the voice of reason in their group.

“… do you think, Tim?” Seems he forgot to pay attention again, too focused on Alex and his staring, judging, disapproving eyes. Now joined by the questioning gazes of the others. Well crap.

“I… uhm…” he doesn’t know what to say. His hands hide in his jeans pockets. Head turns to the side. Avoidance.

“Weren’t paying attention, huh?” Brian puts his arm around his shoulders. A glance reveals the easygoing smile on his boyfriend’s face. No judgement. Only warmth. “We were discussing going out after dinner. You know, have some fun?”

Tim nods. “Sure. If that’s what you want.”

“Great!” Brian rubs his hands together, “That’s settled then. Meet up at mine?”

They agree on a time and Tim tunes out. Once again it’s Alex’s staring that distracts him. What did he do to anger him so? Why does he always look at him with so much contempt? Tim knows that he’s not exactly the best company. He’s permanently grumpy and doesn’t really know how to talk to people. But he didn’t do anything that would draw Alex’s ire. Or did he? He doesn’t remember ever even talking to the guy.

***

It’s loud at Roxy’s. Tim nurses his first, and hopefully only, beer of the night. It’s cramped. It’s hot. It feels like sweat is running down his back in rivers in a sticky, gross way. The trembling in his fingers is back. He shouldn’t have agreed to come. He knew that even when he said yes, but Brian has a way of getting Tim to do whatever he wants. Brian doesn’t have to do much, and Tim knows he’ll never be able to say no to him.

The others are having fun. Brian, Jay, and Jessica are talking together. They’re all laughing, drinking. And Alex is staring again. Nothing new there. Tim looks back down at his beer. He’ll just finish this and then leave, make up some excuse. Tell them he’s not feeling well. Flee. To the comfort of his dorm. Maybe watch a movie? He shouldn’t have come.

Brian’s shoulder bumps into his. He looks up. Jay and Jessica are gone, probably dancing. So is Alex. Brian looks at him and smiles. Tim smiles back. It’s weak. He opens his mouth to say… something.

“Hey, you’re Brian from Psych2, right? I’m Lacy.” A slender, perfectly manicured hand is held in Brian’s direction. 

He takes it. Smiles at her and they start talking. Tim doesn’t pay attention to what they say. He feels a little sick. There’s nothing wrong with talking, but he still doesn’t like it.

Suddenly the same hand that just moments ago touched Brian’s now appears in Tim’s downturned vision. He looks up and his eyes meet Lacy’s green ones. Her red lips are upturned. Anyone else might have perceived her as attractive. Charming.

Tim doesn’t take the hand.

Instead he just looks at her. She’s talking to him, but her words don’t register. She’s smiling a lot. Brian puts his arm around Tim’s shoulders.

Tim is looking at the wall opposite his bed. He’s sitting on the bed. He’s in his dorm. It’s 9am. A sigh escapes his lips. Not again.

***

The day proceeds as his days usually do. He has breakfast, goes to morning classes, meets up with Brian. They have lunch together. They hold hands a lot. Tim thinks about kissing him. He’s a little afraid of it. He still can’t wait. ‘Tell Brian!’ his brain says. He chickens out.

After evening classes, Tim is in his dorm again. Thinks about kissing again. Is about to take his phone. Call Brian. Ask him to come over. His hand goes for the remote instead. Switches on the TV. News. Better than nothing. He needs to get his shit together. He’s no little kid. Brian’s his boyfriend. He shouldn’t be afraid of talking about kissing with him.

A picture on the screen catches his attention. A shiver runs down his spine. It’s Lacy. From the night before. Below her picture it says ‘Missing’.


	4. 02

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The opinions expressed by some of the characters in this story are not my own. If someone said some of the things, someone in this chapter expresses, to me, I'd probably ghost them. Quite frankly, there's some assholes among the main characters of this fic.

Police are on campus. A lot of them. They are pretty much everywhere. This morning, exactly one week after she went missing, Lacy Vargas’ body was found positioned on the stairs in front of Bryant Hall. Tim hadn’t been there, but he heard of it from someone in one of his classes. That she’d been naked, splayed spread eagle on the steps, her entire body covered in wounds.

The police are… not exactly unfriendly. But there’s this uneasy feeling Tim always gets in their presence. Like they are watching him. Judging him. Seeing everything wrong he’s ever done.

For some reason whenever he thinks about Lacy’s body, he feels some kind of unexplainable glee. Followed by guilt. Guilt over being glad she’s dead. Guilt over… something. He can’t really put his finger on it.

He’s sitting on a bench next to Butler Field. He was supposed to meet Brian and Alex after they’d finished football training, but came early. Jessica decided that morning that they needed some distraction from the whole Lacy situation, so their group are going to go to the cinema together.

They are currently busy doing field drills, but his boyfriend still finds the time to occasionally look and wave at Tim. Alex’s eyes sometimes meet his as well, but he doesn’t wave.

After training the team leaves for the showers. Tim is alone. He still feels eyes on him. Turns around. Someone is standing at the edge of the field. He can’t make out what they look like. A shadow. As though realizing, he noticed them, spooks the person, they turn around and hastily leave. He contemplates following them, but the thought of Brian keeps him sitting on the bench.

There’s the sound of someone jogging towards him. He turns back to the field and spots Alex. He raises a questioning eyebrow when his acquaintance stops in front of him.

“Coach wanted to talk to Brian. Probably something to do with the upcoming game.” Is the explanation for his boyfriend’s absence, “I already texted the others. They’re going to meet us at the cinema.”

Alex plops down onto the bench next to him.

Tim fidgets. Acutely feels the presence of the other by his side. Can’t stop thinking about his acquaintance’s hostile gaze. A sideways glance reveals it levelled at him once again. A shiver runs down his spine.

“Why do you hate me?”

He didn’t mean to actually voice the question that has been plaguing him ever since they first met. It had been building up within him, the pressure. The once small thought growing until the inquiry tinged his every interaction with Alex.

Green eyes widen in surprise. Alex’s mouth opens and closes a few times. Indecipherable emotions flashing across his face in rapid succession.

“I… don’t.” He says, the words sounding cautious.

Tim doesn’t know what to make of this. If Alex doesn’t hate him, then why does he keep staring? Unsure on how to proceed he looks at his shoes. Trying to ignore the person next to him.

His thoughts wander back to Lacy. That night at Roxy’s. He lost time before, but never this much. Never an entire evening and night. A by now familiar anxiety grips his heart. He hated Lacy. Hated her perfect smile and perfect bronze hair and perfect everything. What if…?

“She was a bitch, you know.” Alex interrupts his thoughts.

“Wha?”

“The way she was all over Brian and you. It was honestly disgusting. I bet, after you chased her off, she threw herself at the wrong guy.” Alex looks genuinely disgusted.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“It’s just… You’ve been looking guilty all day. Just thought I should tell you. It’s not your fault when a bitch throws herself at the wrong guy.”

Tim should be mad on Lacy’s behalf. He knows he should defend her. Maybe tell Alex to fuck off. He should also be worried that apparently Alex watched him, while he himself sees him for the first time today. But for some reason he feels… touched. Against his will a small smile sneaks onto his lips. His fingers twitch.

“Thanks.” Is all he can say.

Alex grins and his heart jumps into his throat. He did not know that this usually grumpy guy can look like that. His breath catches. He can’t think about Alex like that. He has Brian!

“Sorry you two had to wait so long. Coach Carlton really likes to talk a lot…”

Brian! Tim gets up and smiles. Greets him quietly. Brian chuckles and takes his hand. Their fingers intertwine and it feels safe and good.

***

Turns out Jessica’s idea of getting a murder off her mind is watching a bad horror movie. The film was hilariously incompetent and the most horrendous thing about it was the acting, but still an odd choice. After ninety minutes of wondering what drugs the script writer was on, Tim is ready to call it a night, but it seems that Jay has other plans.

“I’ve always wanted to take a walk through the woods at night.” He says. And completely seriously too. The guy has a weird understanding of fun. He and Jessica really fit together in that regard. Also, why is there even a forest on campus?

“There’s police everywhere.” Alex interjects.

“Come on! Don’t be a spoilsport. This sounds like fun!” Brian. Scratch that. Seems like Alex is the only reasonable friend he has. Friend? Since when are they friends? That talk this afternoon did kind of change things, but still.

Since he and Alex are outnumbered three to two in favour of taking a nightly walk through the woods, that’s what they end up doing. Tim never liked the woods. He always gets this feeling of dread when he’s so much as close to one. Even during the day. And at night it’s even worse. There’s this palpable sense of déjà vu. Like something happened to him in a forest. If it did, he doesn’t remember. But beyond white walls, he doesn’t remember much of his childhood.

It’s dark. The trees loom over them and only the occasional sliver of moonlight breaks through the dense canopy. Somewhere in the distance an owl hoots. Something rustles through the underbrush. Panic grips his heart in an iron fist. His lungs flutter in a desperate attempt to draw in some air. The feeling of being watched. The thought of greedy eyes and bared teeth. It’s almost too much. For the very first time it’s Tim who grabs Brian’s hand.

His boyfriend, who was laughing and joking with Alex, turns to him. Questioning eyes become concerned. The grip around his fingers tightens.

“I’m tired. Let’s go back.” Brian suddenly says.

“Whaaa? But we just came here!” Jay whines, “I wanted to go to the lake. Maybe swim a little!”

Brian looks at Tim, eyebrow raised in question. He nods, just a little twitch of his head.

“Alright.” The blonde concedes. With a happy “Yes!” Jay skips off in the direction of the lake. In varying states of amusement at his enthusiasm, the rest follow.

Fortunately the walk isn’t long, and soon the lake becomes visible between the trees. A shout of elation, clothes landing on grass and then a splash. Jay waves at them from the water, beckoning them to join him. Jessica strips down to her underwear, folds her clothes on a sun lounger, and then wades in. Tim sits down on a different lounger, not really wanting to get wet. Brian plops down next to him, still holding his hand. Alex stares at them for a bit, but then simply walks off, god knows where.

For a while they watch Jay and Jessica. Splashing each other, laughing, playing like little kids. Tim quietly smiles to himself. He kind of wants to join them.

“I want to kiss you.”

Tim’s eyes widen in shock and heat shoots to his face. Brian wants to… For so long he’s been thinking about this. Worrying about this. And now his boyfriend says it like it’s nothing. Like Tim hasn’t been worrying about how to broach the subject.

He whips around to look at the man beside him. There’s a smile on his lips and a dusting of red across his cheeks. Swallowing heavily, Tim nods. And then lips meet his. Cautiously. Carefully. Soft like a butterfly’s wing. Sunflowers bloom in his mouth, in his heart, his stomach, everywhere. He is warm.

It’s just a short moment and then it’s over. Tim wants more, but doesn’t know how to say it. His fingers twitch. A hand cups his cheek, thumb softly stroking under his eye. It feels like a brand, his face so hot he’s surprised Brian can even touch him.

“Let’s join them, huh?” Brian indicates towards Jay and Jessica, who’re playing catch in the water it seems.

“Okay.”

It’s the most fun Tim had in a while. After a while Alex joins them and they play catch and wrestle and generally goof around. When they get cold they slip back into their clothes and chase each other back to Bryant Hall, where Brian kisses him again, before they split up and go back to their dorms.

When Tim falls into bed, freshly showered, he can’t stop smiling. As is often the case he takes ages to fall asleep, but, for once, he doesn’t mind.


	5. 03

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Here's chapter 3! Hope you enjoy.

Kissing Brian has become Tim’s new favourite thing to do. And they do it a lot. It’s the first thing they do when they meet in the morning and the last thing before they part in the evening. And many, many times in between.

Since the night at the lake he’s also gotten a lot closer to Jay, Jessica and Alex. Especially Alex. The guy still tends to stare at him. A lot. But they sometimes talk now. And they even have some things in common. Most noteworthy, their appreciation of film music. They may not agree on which composer is the best, Tim says Hans Zimmer and Alex prefers Daniel Hart, but their discussions never turn hostile.

Things would be kind of perfect. Except for this… person following him around. Whenever he turns around they are there, it seems. He sometimes even sees them from the window of his dorm at night. It keeps him on edge and he sleeps even less than usual.

One day, they are at Mary B’s, enjoying their lunch, Jessica brings it up: “You’re looking really tired, Tim. You been sleeping okay?”

“When am I ever.” He chuckles sardonically, “But, seriously, for the last three weeks some guy’s been stalking me. It’s kinda creeping me out.”

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” Brian grabs his hand, “We could have helped.”

Alex grins: “Yeah. Let’s drag the guy from his hiding place and beat him to a pulp. And then…”

“Do you know who it is?” Jessica cuts him off. Tim shrugs in response. Tells them he only ever saw a silhouette. And that sometimes they appeared lanky and tall and sometimes a little shorter and softer.

“A shape shifter?” Jay suggests, “Or a ghost!”

Brian chuckles: “Good theories, but probably not. A classmate maybe? Anyone made advances on you?”

“That Joseph guy, right? Joseph DeLage I think. The one with the pink and blue Mohawk? In history 1? He’s been hitting on you, hasn’t he?”

“I don’t know Jay. If I did I’d tell you. But I have no idea.” Tim is frustrated. His fingers twitch. Brian’s arm circles his shoulders. Alex is staring intensely. Jay is telling Jessica about Joseph. How the guy always sat next to Tim, asking to meet up. Those kinds of things. Brian’s hold on him tightens slightly. Tim is getting a headache.

Tim’s sitting in his car. Driving. He knows the road. It leads back onto campus. He finds his parking spot in front of Harris Hall. Enters the building. Closes the door to his dorm behind him. Sinks onto his bed. Sighs long and heavy. He didn’t even get to enjoy the meal.

***

History 1. Tim sits at one of the many desks in the room, waiting for the professor to come. Jay’s next to him, telling him about something he read about in some magazine. Something about bigfoot? Tim’s not sure. Jay switches topics faster than most people can follow. His enthusiasm is contagious though and Tim actually finds himself listening. Even if it doesn’t all make sense.

“And what about your stalker? They still bothering you?”

He sighs. He’s been doing that a lot lately. His fingers drum the beat to ‘In the House, In a Heartbeat’ on the desk.

“So yes, I take it. Tim. We gotta do something about this. Stalkers can be dangerous! They could kill you!” Jay looks genuinely distraught, having gotten up, walking in circles, running his fingers through his hair. Suddenly he stops.

“It’s already ten past nine. Usually by this time Joseph’s already here. And professor Leeds too.” He’s facing the clock that hangs above the main entrance of the room. Abruptly he turns to look at Tim in horror. “What if they are planning how to kill you right now?! What if they want you as a sex slave?!”

“Jay…” Tim tries to smile reassuringly, “Joseph’s probably just sick. And professor Leeds is always late.” He doesn’t mention that he doesn’t believe Joseph to be the stalker. Jay is pretty adamant about that one.

“Yeah, but not this late. And Joseph’s never been sick before.”

“Everybody gets sick once in a while.”

“No. I’ve never seen-“

In that moment the door opens, loudly. In comes… not professor Leeds. Not Joseph either. It’s a woman he doesn’t know.

“I’m Katie Merk. I’ll be filling in for Mr. Leeds, who seems to have contracted the flu.”

Professor Merk lays her bag onto the teacher’s desk and switches on the overhead projector.

“Today’s topic is…”

***

Finally the last lecture of the day is over. Tim is tired. He’s certain he has bags under the bags under his eyes. His vision is slightly blurry and he can’t seem to stop yawning every few minutes.

Suddenly an all too familiar arm winds around his shoulders. “Hey.” Brian greets him with a kiss on the cheek. Tim turns his head and kisses him on the lips. His boyfriend smiles brilliantly.

“You look knackered. How about we have a quiet night in? Maybe watch some movies?”

Tim nods. Brian doesn’t mind when he falls asleep on his shoulder while watching something on TV. Sleeping on him sounds like a really good idea right now. It’s probably the only way he even would fall asleep right now, paranoid as he’s grown to be.

They leisurely walk back to Brian’s dorm. His flatmate is currently gone, so they have the whole apartment to themselves. Tim marvels at how big Brian’s living space is compared to his own. He even has his own bedroom to himself! Being a student-athlete really does have its perks.

Brian offers him something to drink, but he declines. His boyfriend shrugs it off and invites him into his room. It’s very clean and sparsely decorated. The only memorabilia to speak of is a bunch of framed pictures on his nightstand. All of them, save for a few that depict Alex, are of Tim. Most of them taken when he was unawares.

If it were anyone else, he’d find it creepy, but since it’s Brian, he feels kind of charmed. He picks up one of the pictures. It’s of him an Alex talking. They look happy and engrossed in their conversation. Tim remembers that talk. It was about the benefits of invisible soundtracks. He also remembers that Brian hadn’t been there when it took place. Where did he get that picture from? Who took it?

Tim puts the picture back where he found it and sits down on Brian’s bed. The blonde sits down next to him, ignoring the TV on the dresser.

“Joseph DeLage.” He says, “Today you had class together, right? He sit next to you?”

“Yeah I had history 1 today. But, no, he didn’t sit next to me. He didn’t even show up. Why do you want to know?”

“Don’t sit next to that guy. Ever. Again.” Brian sounds eerily calm, but his gaze is penetrating, steely.

“Do you think I’d cheat on you or something? Don’t you trust me?”

Brian looks shocked for a moment, but quickly recovers.

“Of course I trust you.” He says with finality, “I just don’t… I worry. About you. I don’t want you to be hurt, what with this whole stalker thing going on. You’re important to me!”

“You’re important to me too.”

Brian smiles, bright and warm like the sun. Their hands find each other, fingers intertwining. They kiss. Tim feels happy, secure. Sunflower petals softly caress the inside of his heart.

Brian lays them down onto the bed, engulfs him in his arms. They kiss and cuddle until Tim falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 will probably take me two days to write once again, since I'm going to be busy tomorrow. But fret not! Some questions will be answered then.  
> Also, fun fact: there are actually some pictures of Joseph DeLage with a pink and blue mohawk floating around the internet. Just saying ;)
> 
> Ascii85  
> Z85  
> C20


	6. 04

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Seems I got this done faster than I thought. I guess waiting for someone does that for you.  
> As promised, this chapter contains some answers. But. Beware: the main characters of this fic are mentally unstable. If you are triggered by severe psychological issues, I'd suggest you stop reading here.

When Tim wakes up he’s warm and comfortable. It’s dark outside, the alarm clock on the bedside table says 04:23. He must have moved in his sleep, because he’s lying on top of Brian, who’s snoring softly. They’re both still wearing their street clothes. And they didn’t brush their teeth either. The taste in Tim’s mouth is stale. But he didn’t bring his toothbrush, not expecting to sleep over, and doesn’t know whether Brian keeps spares. And it’s not like he wants to get up anyway. He cuddles closer to his boyfriend, closes his eyes, and basks in the intimacy.

It’s been a while, he doesn’t know how long, when he hears a quiet creak. It’s the door. Brian’s dorm mate probably went to the toilet and accidentally opened the wrong door, he reasons and stays where he is. Then, a click and a flash. His eyes fly open and he bolts up to see above him a shadow, holding what is most likely a smart phone in their hands. A shadow he’d recognize anywhere. His stalker.

He tries to say something, warn Brian, but the only noise that leaves his mouth is a strangled squeak. It seems to have done the trick. The person next to him stirs. His boyfriend murmurs something, but Tim can’t tear his eyes from the stalker. They turn around and walk back out of the room. The door closes behind them. Another door opens and closes. Then silence.

“Go back to sleep.” Brian. Tim can’t answer. He’s still in shock, sitting straight in bed, facing the way the stalker just left.

A sigh. “No need to worry Tim. That’s just my roommate. I asked him to take some pictures of you. To always have you with me, you know.”

He slowly turns to face Brian. Even cast in shadow he still looks breathtaking.

“Your… roommate…” Tim’s not sure how to react. Not sure what to think. “Okay then.” He says and lies back down. He doesn’t sleep though. Just lies there staring at the ceiling.

A sigh. “Tim. He’s not gonna hurt you. If he did, I’d skin him alive.”

“Why?”

“Huh? Because I’d do anything for you!”

“That’s not what I meant…” And he knows that Brian knows that as well.

Brian fidgets a little. “I just… I love you. And I want to see you. Always. Even when you’re not here. And you just happen to look the cutest when you don’t know someone’s watching you. I especially love that look you get when you’re talking about music with Alex. I just want to take you and lock you away to keep all to myself when I see you like that.”

Tim’s heart pounds in his chest. Those were some big confessions. The biggest confession. Love? Lock him away to be Brian’s only? He swallows hard. The sunflowers fill him up, almost choke him. And they are all looking in Brian’s direction. His sun.

“I love you too…” he whispers.

And then they kiss. And it’s rushed and desperate and tastes of morning breath. And it’s amazing. Tim wants to crawl inside Brian’s body, make a home in his stomach. Truly become one with him. The sunflowers rustle and writhe and he wonders if they’ll pierce his skin, enter the other’s, bind them together forever.

***

“I’d prefer sunflowers.” Tim says. He, Jay, Alex and Brian are in a flower shop and Jay, who finally decided to make a move on Jessica, is looking at the different kinds of roses that are on offer.

“Sunflowers? Why?” Jay looks at him quizzically, “Aren’t roses the flowers of love?”

Tim shrugs. “I don’t know shit about flower language. I just think sunflowers look pretty. And it’s cool that they turn their heads to always face the sun. If I like someone I want to always look at them, right?”

“Sunflowers stand for adoration, loyalty and longevity in flower language.” Sometimes Tim wonders what Brian doesn’t know. And he tends to spout these random pieces of information so casually too. As though it’s no big deal that he’s basically a walking encyclopaedia of random knowledge.

“That does sound nice. But it’s not necessarily romantic. You could give that to a friend too. I want something that clearly tells her what I feel.”

“Red and pink roses are pretty much the go to option for that. Pretty much everyone understands that. Red tulips work too, though. So do blue and purple violets and ‘forget me not’s.” This time it’s Alex who provides the insights. It kind of does make sense that he knows this. Using props to communicate emotions is pretty important in film making. And if there’s one thing he’s truly passionate about it is film making.

“Roses then.” Jay sighs, “I was hoping that there was some kind of exciting alternative.”

“How about red sunflowers.” Tim suggests.

“Red sunflowers? Do those even exist?” Jay is sceptical.

“Sure they do.” Tim once got some red sunflowers from his uncle. They’re his pride and joy. “I still have some seeds left over, if you want them.”

“You have red sunflower seeds?” Alex looks sceptical, “Why would you have red sunflower seeds?”

“I like sunflowers. I grow them. Most of my plants are at home, but I brought the red ones to college with me.”

“Maybe later. I’d have to grow them first, right? I think I’ll go with red roses for now and grow those sunflowers for a later day.”

“Sure. I’ll give you the seeds when we get back to my dorm.”

Jay picks three red and two pink roses.

***

“Sunflowers, huh?”

Tim and Brian are having lunch together. After Tim gave Jay the seeds and some instructions on how to grow them, the group split up. Alex went to class and Jay to prepare his gift for Jessica. Which left him and his boyfriend to their own devices. The growling of Tim’s stomach, in the end, decided for them what they’d do together.

“Yeah?” He’s not sure where the blonde is going with this.

“I didn’t peg you for a flowers kind of guy. Thought you’d prefer CDs or such as presents.”

“I still like that kind of stuff. I just happen to like sunflowers too.”

Brian smiles. “Alright. I’ll keep that in mind. Why though? It’s gotta be more than just them looking pretty.”

Tim’s cheeks heat up. “My uncle. We’ve always been close. He usually gives me sunflowers or sunflower themed things as presents.”

“Oh? You made it sound like you see them as romantic gifts.”

Tim shrugs, pushing around the food on his plate. “He was my first love after all.”

There is no response. When he looks up, Brian is sitting completely still, staring at him, his gaze steely. Tim’s fingers twitch. He bites his bottom lip. Blue eyes zone in on the action, remain there for a moment, before Brian goes back to glaring daggers right at him. Tim swallows heavily.

“He… He’s not… anymore. I mean. I don’t.” He sighs, frustrated, his fingers tearing at his hair, “I love you, Brian. Not him. Not anymore.”

The blonde’s eyes soften and gentle hands carefully detangle Tim’s from his hair. Their fingers intertwine. Brian’s lips twitch up into a smile.

“I love you too.” His boyfriend says, “And don’t you forget that.”

Tim nods. Brian leans over and softly kisses him on the lips. They go back to eating their meal.


	7. 05

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is... something. I'm a little afraid of posting it to be honest. Hope you'll like it. Also, I'm gonna update the tags because of this chapter. Proceed with caution if certain things trigger you.

Uncle Erin has this special secret smile. A smile just for Tim. The boy simultaneously loves and hates it. The adoration he understands. The dislike on the other hand… Uncle Erin is the best. There is no reason to dislike him in any way.

Tim’s in Uncle Erin’s living room, sitting on the sofa, colouring in his favourite colouring book, the one with all the animals and flowers in it. Uncle Erin is in the kitchen. He’s talking to a man he refers to as ‘a friend’. Tim calls him the ‘Funny Man’. Because he’s always telling jokes and laughing. The laughing scares Tim, but he doesn’t know why. The Funny Man never does anything bad. And laughing is happy, right?

He’s just finished colouring a little squirrel in the most beautiful rainbow colours he could find, when Uncle Erin and the Funny Man come into the room. Uncle Erin puts a mug of hot cocoa next to the book and smiles that special Tim smile and the sunflowers and bugs wage war in his tummy. He takes the mug, takes a little sip, puts it back down. Continues his colouring.

The Funny Man tells him a joke. He giggles. Drinks and colours. Soon his eyes start to droop. He arranges the crayons in their box and puts the book and box back into his bag. He’s a good boy after all. He lies down on the sofa. The Funny Man laughs. The last thing he sees before falling asleep is Uncle Erin’s special Tim smile.

***

Tim wakes up in a cold sweat. His roommate stirs. He must’ve made some noise. He thinks back to his dream and a shiver runs down his spine. Why though? It is a happy memory. True, his body had hurt after waking up, but that was because of the uncomfortable sofa. No need to be afraid.

His breathing quickens. Heart beating a mile a minute. He’s having a full blown panic attack. Over nothing. He feels pathetic as he’s trying to breathe. Black spots dance in his vision. Thoughts swirl. Fingers twitching uncontrollably. Somewhere far away someone calls his name. Something touches his shoulder. He feels as though someone is telling him they’ll protect him. That he can rest for a little bit. He lets go.

When Tim opens his eyes again, he’s sitting in class. History 1 from the looks of it. At the front of the room professor Merk is talking about George Washington and his influence on modern law. To his right sits Jay. Two chairs to his left is Joseph. The notebook in front of him is filled with notes in an unfamiliar handwriting.

Tim feels cold. Almost panics again. History 1 is on Fridays. Three days. He lost three days. There’s no denying anymore. Someone has been taking over his body. Someone’s stealing his time. Before he can think himself into frenzy, he feels that voice again. ‘I’ll protect you.’ It’s soothing. Familiar. ‘I know you have questions. I’ll fill you in as soon as you get back to the dorm.’

It’s hard not to react, to keep his inner turmoil a secret. Especially from Jay. While usually with his head in the clouds, sometimes the guy can be really perceptive. After about ten minutes Tim gives up on trying to concentrate on professor Merk. Instead he leaves through the notes made by the other. The writing is very orderly, bold sharp letters. Easy to read. There are little drawings in the margins. Tiny foxes chasing even smaller bunnies. A sleeping sheep. Several smiling faces.

The biggest picture is of three stick figures holding hands. All three of them wear T-shirts with letters on them. The one on the right has a T, the middle one an M and the right one an R. The right one is also carrying a knife with forward curved prongs. Or is it a dagger. Tim can’t really tell with how simplistic the drawing is.

A small smile sneaks onto his face.

***

As soon as he closes his dorm’s door behind him, he feels the voice again. ‘I’m Marty, in case you were wondering. The other guy’s Raphael. He doesn’t talk much, though.’

Tim drops his bag on the floor and sinks down onto his chair. Sighs heavily, dragging his hand down his face. He’s tired. Just so tired. Someone else, no, two someone else’s apparently, are living inside his head. What is he supposed to do now? Did one of them kill Lacy Vargas? He was, still is, glad she’s dead after all.

‘You have to either come in here or speak up. I can’t read your mind, you know.’ Marty. Right. The guy wants to talk.

“Come in where?” Tim asks.

‘The mind place. That’s what I call it at least.’

“And how am I supposed to go there?”

‘Just relax. I can get you.’

Tim’s not sure what to do. Whether he wants to just let go. What if it is a trick? What if Marty’s only trying to take over again? What if that Raphael guy takes over while he’s gone? But he doesn’t have much of a choice. It’s either that or talk to himself out loud. And there’s always the possibility of his roommate walking in on him. That would suck. Reluctantly he gives in to the slight pull he feels.

Suddenly he’s in a white room. It’s mostly empty. There’s only a table and a chair on either side of it. In one of those chairs a person is sitting. He’s tanned, hair black and curly, and his eyes are strikingly green behind the white mask hiding his face. The mask has black lips painted onto it, the eyeholes lined black and small curved eyebrows drawn above them. He’s wearing the brown jacket Tim got for his eleventh birthday.

He looks up at Tim, eyes smiling, and gestures for him to sit down opposite him. Tim reluctantly obliges.

‘Ask away.’ Marty nods at him.

‘What are you?’ Is the first question that comes to mind.

‘I’m an Alter. As in a second personality. I’m sure you already suspected it, but we have DID.’

Tim nods. ‘And why? For people to develop DID they need to go through trauma, right? I never had anything traumatic happen to me, so this doesn’t make sense.’

Marty sighs. ‘You just don’t remember. Raphael and I made sure of that.’

‘Why would you do that? How dare you take my memories away!’

‘You were just a kid. We wanted you to be happy.’ Marty nervously taps his fingers onto the table, ‘I’m not sorry. But I don’t want you to stay ignorant either. With all that’s going on it’s probably best if you know. Well. Everything. Which is why I contacted you.’

‘Then talk.’ Tim’s patience is stretched thin and he just wants to smack that masked guy.

‘Alright. So. I guess I’ll start in the beginning. My beginning that is. The day I was born. It’s the day Uncle Erin raped us for the first time.’

Raped? There’s no way. Uncle Erin would never do that. He’s Tim’s favourite uncle. His first love. The one person he trusts most in the entire world.

His face must have shown his disbelieve, because Marty chuckles ruefully. ‘I know. That shock. That disbelieve. That… pain. It’s the first thing I ever felt. It’s the hate, I think. The reason we split apart. You loved him. You needed someone to hate him for you.’

That… does make sense. Tim still isn’t sure whether to believe Marty, but he does have to admit that it’s possible. His loosing time did start at Uncle Erin’s. And he always did wake up in pain whenever it happened. That is, until his mother sent him to boarding school. Tim’s fingers start twitching.

‘And Raphael?’

‘He came along when Uncle Erin started to invite his friends. It was a bit too much. For me. To take on my own.’

‘The Funny Man…’ a cold shiver travels down his spine. His hands get clammy.

‘He’s one giant piece of shit and that’s all you need to know. At least for now.’

Tim’s in too much shock to protest that statement. Tears start to gather in his eyes. The lump in his throat makes it hard to breathe. A different topic. He needs to find something else to talk about before he starts to cry in earnest.

‘The names. Marty and Raphael. Why those names?’ He manages to croak out.

‘When I was born you’d just seen Back to the Future for the first time. Marty was your favourite. And for Raphael it was similar. Only that it’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles instead.’

A chocked up laugh escapes his throat. Of course.

‘And Lacy? Did one of you-’

Suddenly Marty looks up. ‘Someone’s trying to talk to you. We can continue another time.’

Within the blink of an eye Tim’s back in his dorm. His roommate is shaking his shoulder.

“Tim! Hey Tim! You alright? You’re crying.”

“Yeah sorry. Just missing my-” His breath catches in his throat and he almost can’t say it, “My family.”

The roommate, Noah, nods understandingly. “I get it. If you wanna call them I can come back later.”

“Thanks, but it’s okay.” He glances at the clock to see it’s already eleven pm, “They’re probably all asleep by now.”

“Okay. But if I can do anything for you. You know where to find me.” Noah boxes him into the shoulder and smiles jokingly.

Tim forces himself to smile back. “Yeah… thanks.”

They go about their evening routine as though nothing happened, wish each other a good night, and go to bed. Tim lies awake for a very long time. And when he does eventually fall asleep, he dreams of slimy hands grabbing and malicious grins flashing teeth at him.


	8. 06

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah. Here's the next chapter. I'm gonna go eat something now.

It’s Saturday morning, the sun is not yet fully up, the air crisp and cold. The early birds have started to sing their songs.

After the events of the day before, Tim seriously thinks about staying in bed the whole day. He had been tempted before, but never really considered it. Things changed. The world isn’t how he thought it was. His uncle… he can’t even think about it without feeling sick to the stomach. The bile rising in his throat makes up his mind. He jumps out of bed and runs to the restrooms. He barely makes it before he throws up.

That’s how, a few minutes later, Noah finds him. His head in the toilet bowl, heaving, crying. His roommate kneels down beside him, ignoring the dirt on the floor as well as the fact that they are both in their night clothes, and holds his hair out of his face.

When he’s finally done, he’s tired and in pain and just wants to sleep. Doesn’t even care about where he is. Noah seems to be of a different opinion, as he heaves Tim up off the floor and practically drags him to the sinks to wash up at least a little. Then he brings him back to their dorm and deposits him on his bed.

“I’ll be right back.” He tells Tim.

Tim wraps the blanket around himself. Sniffs. Tries to hold back the tears burning in his eyes. He’s acting like a little kid and he hates it.

When Noah comes back, he’s carrying a bucket. And behind him is Brian.

“I thought Brian might be able to help you better than me, since he’s your boyfriend. You see… my cousin used to have episodes like these, before he… well…” Noah shifts uncomfortably, “Anyway, it always helped him when he had someone he loved with him.”

His roommate sets the bucket down next to the bed and leaves. Brian closes the door behind him and just stands there, in the middle of the room, for a bit. Tim, not sure what to say, in the end just moves over a bit. His boyfriend gets the hint and climbs into the bed behind him. Strong arms envelop Tim and he lays his head onto the blonde’s chest. Listens to the heart beat, slow and steady. Slowly the nausea starts to ebb away and his breathing is starting to go back to normal.

“I have DID.” To say it out loud, to admit it to Brian, is a lot easier than he thought.

“I suspected.”

That’s not the answer Tim expected. He swallows heavily. “How?”

“It’s just that sometimes you weren’t… well… you. I just sometimes felt like I was talking to someone else, someone pretending to be you.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Jessica meant that it’s up to you whether you want to tell us.” Brian starts to pet his back, “Just so you know. I don’t mind. Just tell your alters I don’t appreciate their pretending.”

It feels as though a heavy weight has been lifted off his heart. But there’s still something that’s bothering Tim. “Who else knows?”

“Just Jay, Jessica, Alex and me, as far as I know.”

“Okay.” Tim closes his eyes, “Okay.”

They stay like this for a long time.

***

It’s Tim’s empty stomach that eventually forces them to leave the dorm. They decide on going to Brian’s living quarters, since he has a little kitchenette with a microwave. Not optimal, but better than being in public. Tim most definitely doesn’t want that right now.

When they reach Bryant Hall a crowd of people is blocking their way to the entrance. People are whispering amongst each other, phones are out, some frantically typing away or taking pictures of whatever is at the centre of the gathering. Tim and Brian shoulder their way through the crowd until they reach police tape. There are officers gathered around… something. A tarp is covering most of it, but on the right side fingers are visible from beneath.

Tim’s breathe catches, his hand reaching out to grasp Brian’s. His teeth worry his bottom lip. Who could this be? Since when did that body lay there? This is the place where Lacy was found. Were they killed by the same person? Is that person one of his alters?

Brian’s grip on his hand tightens. When Tim looks at him, the blonde’s face is expressionless, stony. Blue eyes turn to look at him. “Let’s go somewhere else.”

Tim agrees and they push their way back out of the crowd. Brian walks fast, almost dragging him along. Where they’re going, he doesn’t know. They reach the blonde’s car and soon they’re off. When, a few minutes later, he sees trees in the distance, he realizes where they’re headed.

“Call Jessica.” Brian sounds disinterested, “Tell her that we’re going to have a picnic at the lake and to bring food and the others.” Tim obliges.

***

The wood is as eerie as he remembers, even during the day. But with Brian by his side it’s okay. While the noises of woodland creatures still make him jump, his boyfriend’s hand, warm and safe in his own, helps. They soon reach the lake. Luckily no one else seems to be there.

They sit down on the lounger on which they shared their first kiss. Brian’s hand softly touches his cheek, turns his head. Their lips meet. His tongue enters his mouth and he’s hot and everything tingles. The sunflowers rustle. Their hands grab at each other.

When they pull apart Brian’s face is reddened and his gaze is passionate. He leans forward, his breath caressing Tim’s ear. “I wish I could eat you whole.” He whispers.

Tim’s eyes widen, his nostrils flare and a shiver shudders through his body. “I’d love that.” He croaks out.

Their lips meet again, fervent, desperate. Fingers claw at his back, teeth snap at his tongue, and Tim truly feels as though Brian is trying to consume him. The feeling is heady and he can’t get enough. Breathing is hard, but that doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is becoming one with Brian. Trying to crawl into him. Soft yellow petals fill him up and spill over, their sharp edges cutting, shredding his skin. His hands twitch and tremble.

“Guys! Get a room!” It’s Jessica, who interrupts them. She’s coming their way, a basket in one hand and Jay’s in the other. Alex is lagging slightly behind them, looking at his phone.

As Tim spots him, Alex’s head snaps up and green eyes zero in on him. His stare piercing as ever. But around his lips twitches a small smile. Almost as if he’s happy to see Tim.

When she reaches them, Jessica opens the basket to reveal several containers filled with food. Jay spreads out the blanked he’s been carrying. Together all of them help setting up the picnic. Then they eat. The food is fantastic. Delicious sandwiches, salads and fruits, all obviously lovingly put together by Jessica.

“What brought this on?” she suddenly asks, “Not that I’m complaining, but it’s kinda sudden.”

“Tim and I wanted to eat in piece, but police are blocking the entrance to my dorm.”

“Yeah I saw. I’m lucky I spent the night at a friend’s, or I’d have cops down my throat right now.” Alex sounds disgusted, “They’re questioning everyone who’s in there right now.”

Tim shudders. If the body had been found sooner, Brian wouldn’t be here now. None of them would be. Tim would be in his dorm, only Noah, whom he doesn’t know all that well, as company.

“I’m glad.” He says out loud.

Jay looks at him strangely. “What do you mean you’re glad?”

“I mean, I’m glad that you’re here. All of you.” For some reason his eyes focus on Alex when he says that. Alex smiles at him. It’s a small smile, almost hidden, but it’s there none the less. Tim feels sunflowers bloom in his heart.


	9. 07

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew. I'm kinda nervous posting this. I hope you like it...

Tim can’t sleep. He twists and turns and groans and all around annoys his roommate. He knows he does. Noah keeps grumbling about it under his breath. After a glance at his alarm clock, which reveals it’s already way past midnight, he gives up and gets dressed. He leaves Harris Hall.

The sky is dark, grey, stars hidden behind a thick blanket of stars. The chilly night air turns his breath into puffs of smoke. He shivers. Should have brought a thicker jacket, but it’s too late now. With how cold it’s gotten it’s sure to snow soon. Tim is looking forward to that. He’s always liked the snow.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees he sees the shadow that is Seth. The guy is really dedicated to his job of snapping pictures for Brian. Tim smiles and waves at him. The shadow doesn’t react. Then he continues walking. Lets his thoughts wander.

The way he felt when he looked at Alex. It’s a feeling he’s supposed to only have with Brian. And thinking about his boyfriend, he feels just as strongly about him as he did before. If not stronger. But that… crush… on Alex of all people. Brian’s best friend. Tim feels disgusting. It’s a betrayal. There’s no way around it. He promised himself to Brian. Swore he’d only love him. And now…

Tim crosses University Boulevard and enters the park in front of Amelia Gayle Gorgas Library. He follows one of the many cobbled paths. Finds a bank and sits down. Closes his eyes. The trees softly rustle. In the distance an owl hoots.

“Marty? Raphael? Are you there?”

He feels someone reaching out to him and then he’s in the mind room again. This time there’s no table or chairs. Marty’s spread out on a comfortable looking couch. When he sees Tim he scoots over a bit. Tim takes a seat on the newly empty space.

‘Everything alright? You look concerned.’ Marty asks.

‘That’s easy for you to say. You’re wearing that mask.’

The alter’s impossibly green eyes widen. Then they narrow.

‘That’s what you want to talk about?’

‘Not really… Just wondering. Why are you wearing a mask?’

‘I don’t have a face.’ He sounds completely serious.

‘You don’t… what? Why?’

‘I don’t need one. Now what did you actually want to talk about?’

It’s obvious Marty’s done with the subject. For now at least. Tim shifts uncomfortably. How to broach the subject?

‘Last time I was cut off… uhm…’ His fingers start twitching ‘Did you, or Raphael, kill Lacy?’

For a long time Marty just stares. Then a disbelieving chuckle leaves the alter.

‘You don’t know, do you?’

‘Of course I don’t. I can’t see what you guys are doing when you’re in control.’

A sigh. Marty sits up from his lounging position. Puts his hand on Tim’s shoulder.

‘Stop chasing what you don’t know and start looking at what you do know.’ Marty sounds as tough, if he had a mouth, he’d be smiling right now. He gets back into his previous, more comfortable, position.

‘Anything else you wanted to talk about?’

‘I… maybe, I… about Alex…’ Tim’s cheeks feel hot.

‘You’ve been staring at him an awful lot lately.’ Marty sounds matter of fact, no sign of judgement in his voice. Tim’s nerves ease a little.

‘I can’t like him like that! I have Brian! What am I supposed to do?’

‘Talk to Brian.’

‘Wha-? I can’t just tell Brian I like his best friend!’

‘Sure you can. I know I’d like to know if my girlfriend liked someone else as well. Not that I have a girlfriend. And he might react differently than you think.’

Tim sighs heavily. This didn’t help at all. Damn that stupid alter for being so cryptic. Though it does make sense that he should at least talk to his boyfriend. Probably should have gone to him first. They are supposed to trust each other after all.

‘Alright… Thanks…’

‘You’re welcome.’ Marty’s tone of voice indicates the conversation is over.

Tim wills himself back into control of his body.

When he opens his eyes he’s still sitting on the bench in the park. His limbs have grown stiff and cold. His teeth chatter. Sniffing he tries to rub warmth back into his arms. Getting up off the bench is painful and he falls back down. He decides to wait for a bit. Maybe in a few minutes he’ll be more successful.

That’s when, out of the corner of his eye, he catches the shadow again. Seth is standing just far enough away, that he can’t properly see him. Something seems off about him. He squints, trying to put his finger on it.

The hand that suddenly lands on his shoulder nearly makes him jump out of his skin. He turns around so fast his back and neck protest painfully. The guy standing slightly behind him is tall. Not as tall as Alex, but he has a few inches on most other people. He’s wearing a thick winter jacket and woolly hat.

“Brian asked me to bring you to our dorm.”

Our dorm?

“Seth?” Tim asks, panic beginning to well up in his gut.

The man nods. Tim swallows, turns back to the shadow. It’s still standing there, watching.

“If… if you’re Seth… then who is that?”

Seth’s grip on him tightens. “Come on. Let’s leave this place.”

“Yeah…” Tim agrees, tries to get up, fails again.

Seth has to help him up and support him, his stiff legs refusing to cooperate. Their gait is much too slow for Tim’s liking, and judging by the painful grip the other has on him, Seth seems to agree. Occasionally glancing back, the shadow doesn’t move, just keeps watching them.

When they finally reach Bryant Hall, the shadow is far behind them, out of sight, but Tim still feels its gaze on him. Hearing the building’s door close behind him feels like a huge relieve. He shudders, almost stumbles, would have fallen if it weren’t for Seth.

They make their way up the stairs to Brian and Seth’s dorm. When they enter, Brian is waiting for them, standing next to the sofa. Seeing the state Tim is in he immediately springs into action, taking him from Seth’s arms to almost carry him into his own room. He lays him down on his bed and wraps him in the blanket, then wraps himself around Tim.

Little by little Tim feels himself warming up, limbs tingling painfully. Brian’s breath is hot in his neck. The chattering of his teeth subsides. Seth enters, clutching a steaming mug, and sits at the foot of the bed. Offers the mug to Tim.

“It’s tea.” He explains.

Brian and Tim sit up and Tim takes the mug. The tea smells nice. He takes a sip. It tastes nice as well.

“Brian, we need to talk.” Seth sounds serious, “There’s someone else out there. Watching Tim. I’ve seen them…”

Brian’s finger tighten painfully, but otherwise he doesn’t show that he’s bothered.

“Think you can find out who they are?”

Seth contemplates for a minute, before he nods. “I’m on it.” He gets up and is about to leave the room, “Can’t promise anything though.” With that he’s gone. Out of the room and, judging by the closing of a door a little later, the dorm as well.

Brian puts his head on Tim’s shoulder. They are silent for a while. Tim sips his tea, enjoys just being with his boyfriend.

“What were you doing out there?” Brian breaks the silence.

“How did you know I even was out there?”

“Your roommate. Noah? Apparently you just up and vanished. When you didn’t come back for a few hours he got worried. He called and asked if you were with me.”

That makes sense. After his break down the day before Noah has been looking at him kind of worriedly.

“I was… thinking…” Tim answers Brian’s initial question.

“About?”

“Things. Us. Alex…” He admits, thinking about what Marty told him.

Brian is silent. It’s making Tim uncomfortable. There’s a lump in his throat, he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to continue talking. The silence is choking him. He tries desperately to keep his fingers under control, doesn’t want them to twitch and spill his tea.

His boyfriend seems to have noticed his struggle as he takes the mug from him, deposits it on the bedside table. There it stands, among a sea of pictures of Tim. And Alex. And Tim and Alex together. Seeing Alex’s grumpy face on Brian’s bedside table calms him down. What did Marty say again?

‘Stop chasing what you don’t know and start looking at what you do know.’ He knows Brian is very fond of Alex.

“I think I like him. As in… the same way I do you.”

“Okay.” Brian kisses his neck.

“Okay? That’s all you have to say? I just told you I like Alex! Your best friend!” Tim can’t believe it. Any other time anyone so much as showed interest in him, Brian got all grumpy and possessive. But when Tim actually develops feelings for someone other than his boyfriend, the blond’s reaction is a simple ‘Okay’?

“I guess… there’s some things I have to tell you…” For the first time since they met, Brian actually sounds nervous.


	10. 08

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I would say that the cookies made me do it, but this has been planned from the beginning on. I hope this doesn't let anyone down.  
> And now: Time for some backstory.

Brian and Alex had known each other for ages. Almost since birth. Their mothers had been best friends since their teenage years and, after the boys were born, started meeting up for play dates as soon as possible. It forged a strong bond between them.

When they were nine years old, Alex’s father got a new job in a different state. The move was tearful and for a long while afterwards they called each other daily. It was also around that time that Brian’s father began to grow distant, barely interacting with his family. And if he did he spoke to them harshly, mostly hurling insults at his wife and son.

As time went on he got worse and worse and at one point forbade Brian from using the phone, severing the only connection the boy had to his dearest friend. His temper shortened, his frequent outbursts costing him his friends at school. Life became very lonely and painful.

When Brian was eleven, his father hit him for the first time. He had hit his mother before, on occasion. But to experience it himself. He became resentful. Of his father, who hurt him, his mother, who didn’t help, his friends, who left and Alex, who wasn’t there when he needed him most. Making fun of and punching the weaker kids in school became his outlet.

While Brian was spiralling out of control, Alex’s life wasn’t much easier. Shortly after Brian stopped calling him, his father was diagnosed with cancer. Mr. Kralies suffering dragged on for more than a year. Chemotherapy turned the once fit man into a frail shadow of himself and because he had to stay in hospital, he lost his job.

Alex’s mother almost overworked herself on several occasions to shoulder the hospital bill on her own. They frequently lost electricity in their home and had no heating in winter. Alex withdrew from his peers and when someone tried to interact with him, he usually snapped at them.

Three days after Alex’s thirteenth birthday his father died.

Two days later he and his mother were on their way back to Alabama. Mrs. Kralie had managed to get into contact with her old friend and asked to stay with them while she looked for a job. Brian never found out why, but for some reason his father agreed and welcomed the Kralies with open arms.

The days leading up to Brian’s own thirteenth birthday were the best he had in a long while. His father was mostly civil, only getting violent or resentful when neither of the Kralies was present. He also had his best friend back and it was as if they’d never been separated.

Of course all good things come to an end eventually. Mr. Thomas’s act of friendliness didn’t hold up for long and the day before his birthday he cancelled Brian’s party and started to openly abuse him again. The rules of what he could and couldn’t do became stricter until he felt he was suffocating. Brian’s own violent outbursts became more frequent. The only one he never raised a hand to was Alex. Alex was the exception to his every rule.

When it became apparent that Mrs. Kralie wouldn’t be able to find a job anytime soon, Mr. Thomas began to turn his rage on her and her son as well. He seemed to revel in the fact that he could do whatever he wanted to the four people living with him and they had no way of leaving. They were trapped.

When the boys were fourteen years old the situation became too much to bear for Mrs. Kralie and she took an overdose of sleeping pills. She did not make it.

Now an orphan, Alex began to withdraw from the world even more, Brian his only contact to the outside world. Brian was also the only reason he wasn’t bullied in school. If anyone dared so much as look at him wrong, the blond would punish them with his fist.

Brian used the money he extorted out of his schoolmates to buy them sweets and games. One time he decided to go to the cinema with Alex. The experience changed Alex’s life forever. It was the reason he fell in love with movies. From then on Brian started to mostly use the money to buy Alex movies and cinema tickets.

Brian’s antics at school got so out of hand that his homeroom teacher got sick of them and decided to put his foot down. ‘Join the football team or be thrown out of school’ were the choices he was given. He chose football. And Alex, inseparable from him as he was, followed. Turned out they had a knack for the sport.

The physical activity was an ideal outlet for Brian’s rage and he started to mellow out in everyday life. He started making friends again. The first, and closest, of which was as scrawny kid called Seth. The three of them ended up spending a lot of time together.

Then, Brian’s feelings for Alex began to change. He started seeing him as more than just a friend. And as luck would have it, the feelings were reciprocated. On Brian’s fifteenth birthday they had their first time together.

Three years into their relationship Brian found out that one partner wasn’t enough for him. The talk with Alex he had following that realization was long and painful, but in the end they decided that as long as he came back to Alex in the end, he could be with other people as well.

After they finished school they were offered sports scholarships for the University of Alabama and both accepted without second thought. Everything to finally be free of Mr. Thomas.

At UA was where, at age twenty-two, Brian met Tim. He immediately felt a connection to the introverted man and decided to pursue a romantic relationship with him. At first Alex was a little miffed. Brian had never before seriously liked one of his other partners. But as he got to know him better, he warmed up to him.

***

“So really, it’s actually a good thing that you fell for Alex.” Brian finishes, his voice having gone slightly hoarse from all the talking.

“So you… and Alex… This whole time you were together?” Tim’s hands twitch more than ever. The only reason he doesn’t storm off are Brian’s arms around him.

“Kind of. We didn’t do anything relationship-y. We were only together in theory. It wouldn’t have been fair to you otherwise.”

“You see me as just a fling, don’t you?” He’s not sure how long he’ll be able to hold back the tears. He really wants to flee.

Brian’s arms around him tighten. “No. Not anymore. I… I didn’t expect it, but I really did fall in love with you.”

“Would you leave Alex for me?”

“No. Never. But if it makes you feel any better, I wouldn’t leave you for him either.”

It does. I actually makes him feel a lot better. Hopeful.

“I’m… I don’t think I could ever leave you…” He admits, not only to Brian, but also to himself. This attraction to Brian he has, he realizes, is bordering on obsession. Brian could do anything and he’d forgive him.

Having made up his mind, he relaxes back into Brian’s hold.

“We have to talk to Alex…” He mumbles.

Brian kisses him on the cheek and laughs, happy and free, as though a huge weight has been lifted off his chest.

“I love you.” He whispers into Tim’s hair. The sunflowers rustle. Tim returns the sentiment.


	11. 09

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. Another chapter done. Things are picking up!

After several hours of waiting for him, Seth still isn’t back. Around one pm Brian started calling him. The calls went straight to voice mail. Brian started pacing an hour ago, wildly gesturing with his arms while ranting about one thing or another under his breath. He periodically stops, checks his phone, and then goes right back to the pacing and ranting and gesturing.

After a while, Tim gets sick of it and decides to go out and look for Seth himself. Since it’s probably still cold outside, he grabs Brian’s winter jacket before leaving. Brian doesn’t even notice.

The first thing Tim does is go back to the park where he and Seth saw the second stalker earlier that day. Unlike at dawn, it’s now filled with students, people walking to and from the library as well as Toumey and Oliver-Bernard Hall.

It takes Tim a while to find the bench he sat on. It’s currently unoccupied, so he takes a seat. Looks around. There’s nothing indicating whether Seth was here.

Maybe the place where the stalker stood? But that idea is fruitless as well. There is nothing there. And if there was, it’s already been hidden by the bustling traffic of students who took this path since the early morning hours. He lets out a disappointed sigh. As a last ditch effort he turns around and looks back at the bench.

That’s when he sees them. Someone standing a little ways behind the bench, half hidden by a tree. Watching him. It’s a stare he knows. A figure he knows. The second stalker.

On a whim he starts running in their direction. They turn and flee. He pursues them as long as possible, but unlike him, they seem to be quite athletic, quickly dodging and weaving between trees and students. He loses them at one of the park’s exits near Oliver-Bernard Hall.

Frustrated he retraces his steps. Maybe the stalker lost something during the chase? But nothing. There’s nothing. He should probably give up. He’s not made for detective work. With a sigh he leans against the tree the stalker was hiding behind. It rustles.

Slowly he turns. There’s a folded note. Pinned to the tree. With shaking fingers he unpins it. Opens it. There are two words written on it, the font scratchy and smudged. ‘Jemison Center’.

A shudder goes through him. Jemison Center is an abandoned mental hospital not far away from UA. Why would his stalker leave him a note like that? Do they want him to go there? Is this where Seth is? Or is the reason for the note more sinister. A trap maybe? He should go tell Brian about this. If he’s going to go there, then not alone. He’s not that stupid.

His mobile phone pings. It startles him so much he almost drops the note. With a pounding heart he puts the note into his jeans pocket and takes out his phone. It’s an e-mail alert. He taps the screen to open the mail. It’s from the university administration. _> Dear students of UA. It is with a heavy heart that we have to inform you that a dear member of our staff, Mr. Richard Leeds, has passed away.<_

Tim’s hands start twitching. He fumbles to put the phone into the jacket pocket before he speed walks back to Bryant hall. The area closed off by police tape causes bile to rise up in his throat. He wants to get back to Brian as fast as possible.

***

Tim frantically knocks on the door to Brian and Seth’s dorm. The minutes it takes for someone to open it feel like hours. When it finally opens, it’s not Brian in the door frame. Instead the person standing in front of him is Alex. Tim’s teeth worry his bottom lip, his fingers pick at the skin on his arms, twitching, shaking.

“Where were you?” Alex sounds kind of pissed.

“I just… at the library park. I wanted to look for Seth.”

“And it didn’t occur to you that you should probably tell Brian before you leave? He called me, you know. Freaking out about you vanishing.” Alex’s stare is cold.

Tim’s stomach drops and he feels as though his lungs have filled with ice. He let Brian down. And after he trusted him with his past too. The picking turns into furious scratching. His teeth pierce his lip, warm blood fills his mouth and drips down his chin. He retches. Can’t breathe. Stumbles. Alex catches him before he falls. Manoeuvres him into the dorm and onto the couch.

Someone is talking to him. Touching his shoulder, carefully prying his nails off his arms.

“Breathe.” The voice is calming, “Slow and steady. Breathe with me. In. And out.”

Tim does his best to follow the instructions, hands latching onto the arms keeping his fingers from harming himself. Slowly he calms down. The shivering of his limbs subsides. He comes back to himself.

Kneeling in front of him is Alex, eyebrows knit up in worry, his mouth downturned in a frown.

“I’m sorry.” He says, “I didn’t mean to… I was… I was angry, but I wouldn’t have hurt you.”

Tim shakes his head. “It’s… not that…” He whispers, “I wanna see Brian…”

Alex sighs, makes to get up. Tim’s grip on his arms tightens. He doesn’t want him to leave. Doesn’t want to be alone. He sniffs, looks off to the side.

With a sigh Alex shakes his grip off. Gets up. Holds out his hand. Tim takes it and the taller male pulls him up. For a few seconds they remain like that, standing almost body to body, Tim looking up at the other. Sunflower petals carefully flutter in his stomach.

Then Alex turns and starts walking to Brian’s bedroom. Tim follows him on unsteady legs. Every once in a while the taller would glance back, as if to make sure he was still there.

Brian lies in his bed, softly murmuring to himself. He’s holding one of the pictures from his night stand, intensely looking at it.

“Brian?”

Tim’s voice is quiet, almost impossible to hear, but Brian’s ears still pick it up. The blonde stills, falling quiet. Then he turns around, slowly. When his eyes fall on Tim, they widen. He pretty much jumps out of bed and grabs Tim in a tight hug, pressing his face into his neck, breathing in deep.

“I love you. Where were you? I missed you.” Is breathed into his skin.

Tim’s arms sneak around his boyfriend, firmly holding onto him.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He whispers over and over again.

When, out of the corner of his eye, Tim sees Alex leaving, his arm shoots out, holding onto the other. The movement catches Brian’s attention. He detangles from Tim, looks him dead in the eyes.

“Why did you leave?” He asks.

“I wanted to go find Seth. You were so focussed on… whatever you were doing, I thought you didn’t want to be disturbed.” Tim blushes, ashamed of how silly his excuse sounds.

Brian stares at him until he starts fidgeting uncomfortably. Then he sighs, takes the hand, that isn’t holding onto Alex, into his.

“Don’t do that again.” It almost sounds like a threat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Jemison Center is one of the locations used in the filming of Marble Hornets.


	12. 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10. Wow. That's. That's many chapters. I hope you'll like it :3

“You said you went out to find Seth. I take it you didn’t find him.” It’s more of a statement than a question.

They’re sitting at the little kitchen table, Brian and Tim. Alex took the couch. Brian is intensely staring at Tim, waiting for him to say… something. His fingers twitch. His hand subconsciously wanders to his bandaged arm. Brian catches it, lays it back onto the table.

“I… I saw the stalker again. The one that isn’t Seth, I mean.”

“Seth was the stalker?” Alex chimes in.

“Yeah. I had him take pictures of Tim. And some of you too, by the way.” Brian smirks at him.

Alex shrugs it off, most likely used to Brian’s antics.

“I didn’t catch their face, but they left me something.” He shows them the note.

“Jemison Center. Isn’t that this supposedly haunted hospital near here?” Brian looks contemplative.

Alex smiles. “It’d probably make a great filming location for a horror movie.”

“Then you should probably bring your camera when we go there.”

Alex has a camera? Thinking about it, it does make sense. Tim doesn’t know why this came as a surprise to him.

“Yeah. I think I will.”

“Did you find anything else out?” Brian is talking to Tim again.

He nods. “Did you check your mail? Apparently Mr. Leeds is dead.”

Brian scoffs. “That guy was a sleazy pervert. He can rot in hell for all I care.”

“Disgusting fuck…” Alex murmurs, obviously disliking the professor as well.

Tim can’t help but agree. Mr. Leeds had been overly handsy with his students. Rumour has it he even blackmailed some into sleeping with him, holding their grades over their heads. He may not have gone that far with Tim, but he did regularly invade his personal space, touching his shoulders and back, almost whispering in his ear sometimes.

And suddenly there is this realisation. Quiet and insistent. Both victims. They were someone he disliked. They were also someone whom Alex disliked. Maybe. Maybe it wasn’t Tim’s alters doing the killing. Maybe it was Alex?

His teeth worry his bottom lip, causing a spike of pain. His previous bite wound opening. Blood beginning to well up again. Tim raises his hand to his mouth, trying to subtly wipe away the blood. His eyes meet Alex’s. The taller sighs, gets up, brings him a tissue, but doesn’t comment.

His hands twitch as he takes the tissue, fingers momentarily brushing together. Heat spikes through him and sunflowers bloom in his heart. A thought arises. It doesn’t matter. If it’s Alex who killed those people, he doesn’t care. And if it’s his alters, he doesn’t mind either. Lacy was a slut and Leeds a pervert. He’s better off without them. Tim smiles, pressing the tissue to his lip with shaking hands.

He makes a decision. He’s going to find Seth. Then he’s going to find that second stalker and kill them. And then he’ll find the men who raped him and kill them as well. And in the end he will kill his uncle. Slowly and painfully. He’ll make them pay for what they did to him. His hands twitch so badly he almost drops the tissue.

“Tim? You okay? You kinda zoned out there?” Brian’s voice brings him back to reality.

“Sorry. Were you saying something?”

Brian levels him with a fond smile. “Alex and I were discussing what to take to Jemison Center. We don’t know what to expect there after all. Do you have something you could use as a weapon? You know. To defend yourself.”

Tim thinks for a moment, remembers the knife his uncle gave him for his fifteenth birthday, and nods. Now that would be some poetic justice.

“Alright then. Go get it. And put on some good shoes and a jacket. We’ll meet up at my car in half an hour.”

“Can I keep yours? The jacket I mean. Can I keep your jacket?” Tim feels his cheeks warm. Is he too forward?

Brian’s grin alleviates his worries. “Sure. I’ll get myself another one.”

Tim feels warm and giddy and so filled with sunflowers he can’t breathe.

***

Jemison Center is creepy, to say the least. It feels as though it is enveloped in a fog of misery and death. Four white columns loom over them. They used to support an awning, but that is now long gone. The entrance itself is a dark gaping hole, seeming to wait for him to enter so it could devour him. Never to let him out again. Trapped inside the hospital’s squirming, writhing intestines.

His hand slips into his jacket pocket, grips the knife he stored there. It’s a beautiful pocket knife, the handle masterfully engraved with sunflowers. The blade is long and thin and made of Damascus steel. And it is very very sharp.

“Okay. Let’s go.” Alex already took his camera out of its bag and started filming. He looks to be itching to go inside.

Brian takes the lead, with Alex and Tim following closely behind. Stepping through the doorway, the outside world seems to vanish. In front of them is a long debris covered corridor, open doors and doorways on either side of it. They slowly make their way through the graffiti covered halls, peeking into the various rooms they come across.

It is silent, safe for the crunching of gravel beneath the soles of their shoes, the noise eerily echoing.

When they don’t find anything on the first floor, they decide to ascend the stairs to the second. There’s more debris and more silence. There’s not as much graffiti here. It’s also somehow even more creepy.

Tim gets the feeling of being watched. A shiver runs down his spine, his breathing quickens. His hands start twitching again. He has to get that under control. Maybe breathing exercises? Trying to calm down, he breathes in slowly, deeply, and breathes out. A hand takes his. It’s Alex. The tallers’ gaze still trained on Brian’s back, seemingly wanting to pretend he didn’t just make a move on Tim.

The sunflowers in Tim’s heart are rustling happily and he returns the grip. A little smile flashes across Alex’s face.

Suddenly there’s a loud noise, as if someone dropped something. It’s coming from somewhere ahead of them. They hurry to locate it.

They come into a long room, the floor covered in old rotting, mint green mattresses. On one of those mattresses lies Seth, unconscious. And above him stands a person, clad in all black, a hood shadowing their face. The gun in their hand is levelled right at them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a high chance I won's update tomorrow. I won't really have time to write, so I'm sorry about that.


	13. 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is... weird. But see for yourself :D  
> Btw: A quick warning. I thought that it was obvious (and I'm sure you do too, but, just making sure), but apparently there are people who make toxic relationships depicted in some media their relationship goals. So I'm just gonna say it. Tim's relationship with Brian and Alex is not healthy. It's super fucked up and if anyone you're affiliated with starts acting or talking the way they do, cut that person out of your life.

“Stop filming.” Female. The person aiming a gun at them sounds female.

Alex doesn’t stop filming. Instead he grins at the woman.

“You lower your gun.” Brian says, “Or we’ll have to make you.” He sounds calm. Confident. As though there wasn’t someone pointing a weapon at him.

Tim, on the other hand, is freaking out. His hands twitch so badly, he’s surprised Alex hasn’t let go of him yet.

And then he’s in the mind room. Marty’s sitting on the sofa again. He pats the space beside himself.

‘Wanna watch?’ He asks.

‘Watch what?’ Tim’s confused. One moment he was being threatened, and now he’s here.

‘Raphael. He took over. Wanna watch what he does?’

Ah. That makes sense. A little nervously he walks over to the couch and sits down. There’s some kind of monitor opposite the sofa, he notices. And it shows the outside world the way Raphael sees it.

Raphael is looking at the gun, specifically the safety catch. It’s on, Tim realizes. And if he knows anything about Alex and Brian, they probably noticed as well. Which, in turn, would explain their confidence.

Then Raphael’s gaze focuses on the person holding the weapon. Not much of her face is visible under the shadow of her hood, but her jaw and a hint of her lips can be made out. They wobble slightly. Like she’s afraid.

A glance at his hand clasped in Alex’s, he shakes the taller’s grip off and starts walking forward.

“Stop right there! I will shoot you!” The gunwoman sounds panicked, the arm holding the weapon starting to shake. Her thumb inches toward the safety.

She’s not fast enough. Suddenly jumping forward Raphael grabs her weapon hand and uses some kind of technique, Tim’s sure he’ll never be able to recreate, to disarm her. Then he takes a few steps back, unlocks the safety, and aims the gun at her.

“Tim. What the hell was that?” Alex asks.

Raphael doesn’t respond, keeping his gaze focussed on the woman, who’s standing still, her hands raised above her head.

“You’re not Tim, are you?” Brian.

A slight shift of the picture on the screen indicates Raphael’s nodding.

“If you’re not Tim, who are you?” Alex wants to know. No answer. “Not much of a talker, huh?”

“And who are you?” Brian directs the question at the woman.

She glances in Raphael’s direction, who nods at her.

“Sarah. My name is Sarah Bishop and I’m Seth’s fiancé.” She answers shakily.

“ Fiancé?”, Alex questions, “Since when does Seth have a fiancé?”

“It was arranged by our parents. Four years ago.” Sarah’s voice is getting more confident as she talks, “It’s also why I’m here. Seth’s father sent me to make sure that he doesn’t hang out with ‘the gays’ anymore. He doesn’t want him to catch ‘the gay’.”

Alex scoffs. “Catch the gay… what a load of bullshit.” He mutters under his breath.

“Why… follow… Tim…” Raphael suddenly asks. His words sound rough and garbled, like he has to force them out of his throat.

“I wanted to know what it was about him. Why Seth was following him. And when Seth caught me this morning I had to do something! I just wanted to scare you a little. So you’d stay away from him…”

“It’s not your decision whom I hang out with, Sarah.” Seth. He’s sitting up, massaging his temples.

“I know!” Now she sounds desperate, “But your father… He said he’d cancel the wedding if I didn‘t… I’m sorry.”

‘Fuck that guy.’ Marty suddenly blurts out.

Startled, Tim turns to him. Marty is intensely watching the screen, hands clenched into fists. As if sensing Tim watching him he glances at him out of the corner of his eye.

‘Don’t you think that’s fucked up too? I mean, threatening her chance at marrying the one she loves? That’s sick!’

‘The one she loves? Didn’t she say the marriage was arranged?’ Tim questions.

Marty just looks at him like he’s stupid. Then looks back at the screen. Tim follows suit.

He missed some of the outside happenings, it seems. Raphael put the gun away. Somewhere. And Sarah is kneeling next to Seth on the mattress. Her clenched hands rest on her thighs. She’s also taken off her hood, revealing a young, scared face, partially hidden by long black hair.

“If you want to make it up to us, work for me.” Brian is saying.

“Work for you?” Sarah looks wary, but hopeful.

“Yeah. Just keep doing what you did, but report back to me. Maybe take some pictures.”

At that Raphael’s gaze snaps to Brian and a strangled growl leaves his throat. Brian lifts an eyebrow at that. Grins.

“Don’t worry, tough guy.” He says, “I’m not gonna hurt Tim.”

“Protect… Tim… no… mercy.”

‘That’s it big boy.’ Marty chuckles, ‘Show that creep what we’re all about.’

Tim feels a sudden spike of hatred for the alter sitting next to him. His fist clenches and, on an impulse, punches him right in the mask. Not having expected an attack, Marty goes down.

‘Don’t you dare insult Brian.’ Tim growls out, barely holding back from decking the bastard a second time.

‘Sheesh, I won’t. Calm your horses. But seriously. What do you see in this guy? He’s hiring people to stalk you.’

‘And I’m okay with that. No. I like it. I want him to do that. So shut the fuck up!’

‘Alright, alright. Brian’s all sunshine and ponies. But don’t come crying to me when that snake ends up biting you.’

Tim lets out a huff. Brian would never hurt him. He loves him. They love each other. And their love is perfect.

With that thought in mind, Tim puts all his energy into willing himself back in control of his body. And surprisingly it actually works. He stumbles, blinks his eyes, feels the rubble beneath his feet, and smells the musty rot of Jemison Center.

Raphael was walking behind the others when he regained control. He doesn’t know where they are going, but it doesn’t matter. He’s just glad to be in his body again. He jogs to catch up to the others, grabs Alex’s hand in his. Alex startles a little, glances at him. Grins. Returns the grip.

Turns out they were heading for the exit. It’s been a long time since Tim last felt as glad to leave a building. He gratefully breathes in the fresh evening air. The first stars are already peeking out from behind clouds, the last rays of the sun painting the sky beautiful purple and pink colours.

It looks… romantic.

Giving in to his feelings, Tim kisses Alex on the cheek. Alex kisses him on the lips. His body fills up with sunflowers. His ribcage cracks. His fingers twitch, grab onto Alex, bury themselves in his flesh.

When the kiss ends Tim is breathless. Dizzy. “They’ll always look at the sun.” He whispers.


	14. 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a lot harder to write than it should have been. I blame the migranes. (And no, it's definitely not because I spent too much time on youtube. No way.)

“It’s our anniversary in three days.” Brian says nonchalantly.

They, meaning Alex, Brian and Tim, are in Alex’s bedroom, the three men barely fitting onto the bed. They have to sit very close together, not that any of them mind.

“Anniversary?” Tim questions, wondering which one he could mean.

“Yeah. In three days we’ll have been together for a month.”

Tim smiles. One month. It’s already been a month hasn’t it?

“Do we like, exchange presents and stuff?” He asks.

Brian shrugs. “If you want to.”

“What would you want?” Tim wants to know. An anniversary is a special day after all, right? People do special things on anniversaries. Right?

“Your virginity.”

Tim’s face feels as though it is on flames. His fingers twitch. He goes to bite his bottom lip, but holds back in the last second, not wanting to break the scab he has there. And then, like a bucket of ice thrown on him, he remembers.

“I’m not a virgin.”

Brian stares. Alex, who until this moment has been playing with his fingers, stops.

“I… I mean… my uncle…” Tim mumbles uncomfortably.

Brian’s stare turns cold. He’s downright sneering now. Alex’s grip tightens to the point of being painful.

“I’m sorry! I… I didn’t! It wasn’t…” Tim feels tears gathering in his eyes. Can’t look at anyone. Ashamed. “It wasn’t…” He swallows, bites his lip, tears it open again, “…consensual…” It’s barely a whisper.

He braces himself for the worst. Expects ridicule, rejection. Maybe even violence. He’d certainly deserve it for letting himself fall for someone like his uncle.

A hand. It’s getting closer. A thumb brushes away a tear he hadn’t noticed fall. The grip on his own hand softens, becomes comforting, fingers start caressing him.

“That doesn’t count.” Brian whispers.

Tim’s gaze snaps up to look at his boyfriend. “What?”

“If you didn’t want it, it doesn’t count. So you’re technically still a virgin.”

The expression on Brian’s face is hard to decipher. He looks like he can’t decide between being gleeful and furious.

***

Tim decides that, despite still being mad at him, he needs to talk to Marty again. He may be a smart ass, but he’s still the easiest way to find out who the men that raped him are. But he needs to find a safe place to leave his body first. In his dorm he’d probably be interrupted by Noah again. And it’s much too cold to stay outside. Maybe he should sleep over at Alex’s?

“What’s going through your head?” Speaking of the devil.

“Just wondering…” He replies, “Would you mind if I stayed the night?”

Alex grins. “Sure.”

Tim smiles, kisses him on the lips. Alex kisses back. The sunflowers in his guts go wild. Growing. Expanding. Tickling his stomach.

“Playing without me?” Brian sounds amused. He plops down on the sofa next to them.

“I would never.” Alex smirks. Then he leans over and kisses Brian.

Tim never thought he would like watching them be affectionate with each other, but he does. There is none of the jealousy he usually feels when someone gets close to them. None of the resentment. Instead all he feels is sunflowers.

He wants to touch. Wants to… He’s about to…

He’s suddenly in the mind room. This time it’s nothing but an endless expanse of white. There’s no table, no chairs, no sofa, no monitor. No Marty. He tries to leave, but there’s something blocking him.

‘What the fuck…’ He really wants to scream. Tear the one who suddenly took over a new one.

He begins walking. There’s no use ranting and there has to be an end to this whiteness somewhere. 

***

Tim doesn’t know how long he’s been wandering, but he’s sure that if he were corporeal, his feet would hurt. Probably blister as well. Heaving a frustrated sigh, he sinks to the floor. Punches it. Just sits there for a while.

Suddenly there’s something. Footsteps in the distance. Coming closer. He turns to face the one approaching him.

They are tall. Taller than anyone he’s ever seen before. They are also very slender, their limbs long and frail looking. Clothed in a black suit and sporting a white, faceless head, they make an imposing figure.

Once it reaches him, it extends its spindly fingers towards his face. Tim should probably be terrified. But he feels strangely calm. A finger touches his forehead. It’s sharp and frigid like ice. He shivers, cold spreading through him.

_‘I have been looking for you.’_ the voice is as chilly as the finger, echoing through his head. Giving no indication as to what gender it could belong to.

‘Who are you?’ Tim asks, mesmerized by the creature towering over him.

_‘I am the one the other calls Raphael.’_

‘You are Raphael?’

_‘That is the name the other calls me.’_

‘What he calls you? And what do you call yourself?’

Tim feels as though the alter is smiling at him. The cold finger is back, stroking his cheek. It’s like being dunked in an icy lake. He struggles to breathe.

_‘I do not go by any name. You may call me whatever you choose to.’_

What to choose though. Looking at them, Raphael doesn’t seem to fit. He’ll have to think on that. But first.

‘If you’re here, does that mean Marty’s in control? What is he doing? Why can’t we see? And how do I get back in control?’

A crackling noise escapes the creature, an eerie abomination of a chuckle. _‘So many questions. I do not know the answers to all of them.’_

Tim waits for it to continue, but for a long time it stays silent, seemingly analyzing him. Just as Tim is about to give up on waiting for it, he hears the voice in his head again.

_‘The other is scared. He wants to protect, but he does not think clearly. To take control, you have to want more than him.’_

Want more? As in want to be in control more? That seems… logical… in a way. And the things it said about Marty. The alter is not thinking clearly? That sounds ominous. It also most likely means that Marty won’t provide him with the answers he’s seeking. Mind made up, Tim decides to ask the creature one last question.

‘Will you help me get revenge on those that raped us?’

More of that crackling laugh, the sound of leather tearing. The creature’s face rips open, revealing endless blackness, framed by sharp fangs. A long tongue sneaks out of the abyss, the sound of glass creaking loud in his ears. The air turns from chilly to frigid. Were this not the mind place, Tim probably would have frozen to death.

_‘With pleasure.’_ The creature growls.

Then it goes back to normal, the ripped mouth disappearing as though it was never there. Sharp fingers pet his hair, leaving tiny ice flowers in their wake.

_‘Be safe, Timothy Wright.’_

With that the creature turns around and leaves the way it came, vanishing into the endless whiteness.

Time to will himself back into control, Tim guesses. He takes a deep breath and pushes. Pushes for the exit. He wants to get back. Wants to make sure Marty didn’t do anything stupid. Wants to see Alex and Brian. Wants them safe. Thinks of the spite Marty feels for Brian. Thinks of Brian.

Sees Brian.

“I… I’m back?” Tim looks around. He’s in the same place he was in, when he was thrown out. Alex’s dorm. On the sofa. There’s a small TV opposite the couch. It’s on, showing some children’s cartoon. Alex isn’t in the room. Brian’s sitting at the small kitchen table. He’s looking at Tim. There’s a small smile on his face.

“Welcome back.” He says.


	15. i'm not a freak!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little interlude for all those who were wondering what Marty did while Tim was in the mind room.

Marty can’t watch this any longer. Can’t watch those terrible people treat his Tim like some kind of toy. With a furious shout he takes control of their body.

Up close it’s even more disgusting. Kissing. Eww. It’s all he can do to not deck them right there. Breathe. You are Tim. Tim only punches people when they talk bad about HIM. Marty can still feel it. Not physically, mind you, since he doesn’t actually have a face to have felt it with. But in his heart. The betrayal is still there.

But more importantly. Now that he’s wearing Tim’s face, he can do some damage control. Get Tim as far away from those toxic people as possible.

Marty puts on his best angry Tim face.

“Stop that.” He demands. It sounds whinier than he would have liked.

They stop. Turn. Alex raises an eyebrow. Brian just looks at him.

“Seriously. Don’t do that in front of me.” Marty continues talking, feeling a little awkward under their questioning stares.

Brian chuckles. “Alright. But please. Stop pretending to be Tim. You don’t sound like him at all.”

Marty’s blood runs cold. No way. They can’t have seen through his act that fast. He still has his mission to complete.

“What the hell are you talking about, shithead? I’m Tim. Or are you blind or something. Asshat.” He rants, as offended as possible.

“Uhu.” Brian doesn’t sound convinced at all.

Alex gets up. “I have classes in about fifteen minutes. I’m off.” He says, “I can’t deal with this right now...” He mutters under his breath as he grabs his backpack and goes to leave.

Alex doesn’t have classes. Marty knows that for a fact. It’s Sunday evening, well after 10pm according to the clock on his, Tim’s really, phone. He resists the urge to stick out his tongue at the liar’s back. Then decides the other doesn’t deserve that decency. Too bad Alex doesn’t see it when he closes the door behind himself.

There’s a chuckle. Marty whips around to glare at Brian, who’s hiding his clearly smiling mouth behind his hand.

“Shut up, idiot.” Marty demands.

“I didn’t say anything.” Brian responds, a look of fake innocence on his face.

What a prick. How could anyone like that guy? Fucking psychopathic asshole. Marty gets up to follow Alex’s example and leave. There is no way he’s going to stay in the same room as that prick for one second longer.

“Where are you going?” Brian has the gall to ask.

“None of your business, prick.” It warms Marty’s heart to see annoyance cross the other’s face. Serves him right.

“What a lovely fellow you are. You must have lots of friends.” Brian’s statement is obviously sarcastic.

It hurts. It really does. It’s always been a dream of his. To find friends. People he can hang out with, have fun with. People to talk to. But because of the nature of his existence, Marty doesn’t have any friends. Unless of course you count Raphael. Which Marty doesn’t. The guy’s barely around, and when he is, he acts all creepy. Not exactly friend material.

Judging by the look of satisfaction on Brian’s face, Marty’s pain must show on his face. With balled fists and a huff he storms off. Stupid Brian. That asshole can fuck right off.

And what better way to show the idiot up, than to prove him wrong. Marty’s gonna find some friends. And if it’s the last thing he does. And he’s not going to hide his DID anymore either. And if Tim doesn’t like that, well too bad. He’ll just have to deal with it. Marty’s had enough. Enough of hiding himself. Enough of pretending to be Tim. Enough of Tim throwing his good intentions back in his face. Mask.

Unfortunately Marty, consumed by his anger, forgot the time. As it’s almost 11pm, there aren’t many people around. Only very few students are rushing from one place to the other, obviously busy in one way or another. He sighs deeply. This is a setback.

But not a deal breaker! Marty pulls himself back together. He’s going to do this. He’s going to do this! He’ll approach the next person he sees, no matter who they are.

It takes a few minutes for someone to show up. It’s a young woman carrying a stack of books. Marty immediately jumps into action.

“Wanna be friends?” He asks, stepping in her way.

The woman flinches and drops her books.

“Ah! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you…” He crouches down to help her pick her books up.

She slaps his hand away. “Don’t touch my things, creep. You’ve already done enough.”

After hastily gathering her things, she speed walks off. Busted. Seems this is going to be harder than he thought. But he’s not going to give up. He has to show the bastard. Marty can have friends!

***

Two hours. And nothing. Not a single person responded in kind. It was all either muttered curses or them calling him various versions of creep. With a sigh Marty sinks down on a nearby bench. Is he really so unlikable? Would be better off pretending to be Tim again? Tim has friends after all. Maybe he should just… No. Even if Jay and Jessica accept him as a friend, they wouldn’t be HIS friends. They’d still be Tim’s friends primarily. And Marty doesn’t want to be the second choice. Doesn’t want to be the hidden number two. Or three. More likely three.

He feels tears building up in his eyes. Angrily wipes his sleeve across his face. Sniffs. No way is he going to cry. He’s not a baby. He’s an adult. He can be strong. He will be strong. He’ll get up and try again. He will. Any minute now. Just. Sit here and rest a little first. He’ll need the energy after all.

Marty shivers. Ah. Seems like he forgot his jacket. Tim’s jacket. No. Brian’s jacket. Tim doesn’t use his own jacket anymore after all. Marty huffs, annoyed, and rubs his arms to get some warmth back into them.

“Forgot your coat?”

Marty turns to the speaker. It’s a young woman, blonde hair, blue eyes and a stunning smile. He feels his face go hot. Nods. Swallows.

“Haha. Happens to me all the time. My dorm’s close by. If you want to I can brew you some tea. Or coffee. Or something…” She rambles. She looks cute when she does. She embarrassedly clears her throat.

Marty nods, unsure if he’ll be able to talk. There’s a big lump in his throat, blocking any words that he wants to say. Awkwardly fiddling his thumbs he gets up.

“I… I’m Marty…” He manages.

“Ah. I forgot to introduce myself, didn’t I? How stupid of me. I’m sorry. I’m Amy. Please call me Amy.” She giggles uneasily.

“N-nice to meet you Amy.” He extends his hand. It looks awkward with how much he’s shivering.

“Nice to meet you too!” She shakes his hand, “But we should really get going now. Before you freeze to death.”

***

Turns out Amy’s dorm is really nice. Nicer than Tim’s in any case. Like Brian’s and Alex’s it has a small kitchen, but Amy’s actually has an oven. 

There is also a small couch, on which Amy instructs him to sit. He immediately complies. Grabs the blanket, that was draped over the arm rest, and wraps it around himself.

“What were you doing out there anyway?” Amy asks as she’s putting the kettle on.

“Ah. Funny story that. I was actually trying to make a friend.” Marty’s face gets hot from embarrassment.

“Well you succeeded then.”

“I did?” He asks in wonder.

“Well yeah. I mean. We can be friends. If you want to, that is.” There’s a smile in her voice.

“I- I- Yes! Yes I want to be friends!” Marty almost can’t contain himself, he’s so happy. By the time Amy sets a cup of tea on the coffee table, he’s almost giggling with glee.

With a chuckle she sits down next to him.

***

The next morning, Marty wakes up with a crick in his back. After talking with Amy for hours, he ended up sleeping on her couch. He groans, sitting up, but the pain doesn’t dampen his mood. He has a friend! A real friend!

Tim’s phone buzzing brings him back to reality. It’s an alarm. Tim’s first class starts in an hour. With a sigh Marty gets up. He walks into the kitchenette. Amy’s already there, making breakfast. She greets him with a smile, wishes him a good morning. He returns the gesture.

They have a nice breakfast together and, so he isn’t late, Amy drives him to his first class. They exchange numbers.

The rest of the day Marty feels as though he’s walking on clouds. The lectures, usually boring, don’t seem that annoying anymore. Instead of the usual animals, his doodles consist of little Amys and Martys holding hands.

When he leaves the lecture hall after the last class, Brian is waiting for him. His mood immediately sours.

“What do you want, asshat.” He grunts.

“Ah. So Tim’s not back yet. I’m sorry to hear that.” Brian smiles at him. It doesn’t look sincere at all.

“Fuck you too…” Marty grumbles.

“As much as I hate to tell you this, but Noah’s called. Said he has someone over at your dorm and you do not want to interrupt them. And since Seth and Sarah are at mine, Alex offered we stay at his for now.”

Marty sighs. He’d love to decline. Throw the offer back in Brian’s face. Call Amy and ask to stay at hers instead. But he already stayed one night. Two in a row after only knowing her for less than a day seems kind of inappropriate.

Doesn’t mean Marty can’t complain all the way to Alex’s dorm. Which he does. Loudly. That it really annoys Brian is a bonus.

Once the apartment door closes behind them, Brian throws a remote at him. Marty just barely catches it.

“Go watch TV. And don’t annoy me. I have studying to do.”

As much as he’d like to go against Brian’s order, watching some TV and relaxing does sound good. And he is kind of tired. Maybe he can go back to annoying the asshat later on.

He’s in the middle of watching his second episode of Spongebob Squarepants, when he’s thrown into the mind room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hexadecimal


	16. 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me a little longer. It's my birthday tomorrow and I've been busy arranging some things. Because of that it'll probably take me another two to three days to finish the next chapter. Sorry ^^;

There is a new number in Tim’s phone. ‘Amy <3’. Who is Amy? And why does he have her number? On a whim he selects it. His thumb hovers over the green phone. He hesitates. What if-? He swallows. That can’t be. Marty wouldn’t… Or would he?

In the end curiosity wins over trepidation and he calls ‘Amy <3’.

“Hello?” She answers after only two rings.

Tim isn’t prepared. Doesn’t get out a word. What if… What is he supposed to say, if-?

“Marty? You okay?” ‘Amy <3’ sounds concerned.

“I- I’m not… I’m Tim.”

“Ah. The dominant- what did he call it? Personality? I think. Anyway. Nice to meet you. Well not really meet… You know what I mean.” There’s nervous chuckling, “I’m Amy by the way. Please call me Amy.”

“Amy… I… I found this number on my phone… and I was wondering… what-?”

“What happened between Marty and I?” This time her chuckle is amused, “We had tea together. And talked. He told me a lot about you. Only good things, mind you.”

“I…” Tim’s not sure how to continue. He doesn’t know this person. What is he supposed to say to her? “I have to go…”

“Wha-? Wait! There’s still some th-”

Tim ends the call. Stares at the screen for a while, not really seeing it. So Marty… apparently went out and met someone. And told her about their DID. He feels kind of… betrayed. He doesn’t even know Marty all that well, but still… And knowing that that bastard is currently watching and listening in kind of makes his blood boil.

“You okay, Tim?” Noah asks.

Tim sighs, puts his phone onto his bedside table.

“Just a little annoyed, is all. Nothing to worry about.” He replies.

“If you say so…” His roommate sounds sceptical, but doesn’t press.

Glad that that conversation is over, Tim grabs his phone again. Texts Brian to meet up. Please? The affirming reply is immediate. They decide on a meeting place and Tim is on his way.

***

“I hate this…” Is the first thing Tim says to Brian, who’s waiting for him in front of Wendy’s.

“Hm?” The blonde looks confused.

“My DID. Loosing time. Waking up in some weird place. Finding weird things in my room. Strange numbers on my phone. People knowing things about me. Things they shouldn’t.”

Brian smiles, pecks him on the lips. “How about we go inside first, hm? You can vent all you want when we have our food.”

“Yeah okay…” Tim smiles weakly.

They enter Wendy’s, order and find themselves a table. For a few minutes they just sit there. Tim fiddles with his fries, Brian waits for him to start talking.

“He told her about it. My… our condition. I don’t even know her! And he told her, a complete stranger, that we have DID!” Tim angrily tears into a fry, grumbling to himself.

“Who ‘her’?” Brian sounds suspicious.

“Her name’s Amy. Apparently they had tea together. And he told her about our DID. Can you believe it?!”

“You told me.”

Tim’s head snaps up to look at his boyfriend. “Wha-?”

“I’m guessing you’re talking about one of your alters, right?”

Tim nods.

“I don’t know your alters. They don’t know me. But you still told me about your DID. Isn’t this kind of the same thing?”

Tim feels betrayed. It stings. Right in his heart. He thought Brian, of all people, would understand. He clenches his fist, tempted to hit something, someone.

“But that’s different!” He exclaims.

The guy at the next table over shushes them. Brian apologizes to him, before turning his attention back to Tim.

“How?” He asks.

“Because they get to watch what I’m doing. They knew who you are, even before they talked to you. And if they wanted to stop me, they could have just thrown me out. HE, on the other hand, just took over and left me to wonder what the hell he’s up to.” Now that he said it out loud, Tim realizes how bitter about the whole situation he actually is. He has to bite his tongue to keep from screaming in frustration.

“That actually explains a lot…”

“It does?”

“Yeah. It was a little off putting how your alter seemed to hate me right from the get-go.”

“Did he do something?” Tim asks, a little nervous.

“Nah. He was just a little rude, is all.” Brian smiles at him. Takes Tim’s hand and strokes his thumb across the back of it. He starts using his left to continue eating.

“I’m sorry…” Tim bites his lip worriedly. His lip hurts a little. He looks at their connected hands. They are about the same size, but where Tim’s are soft and a little sweaty, Brian’s are rough and dry and very very clean. He even carries around wet wipes everywhere he goes, Tim knows. He never really thought about it, but Brian’s very particular about cleanliness in general. Maybe Tim should start taking wet wipes everywhere as well?

“No need to apologize. That guy’s not you after all.” Brian interrupts his train of thought.

“I…” Tim starts, but Brian’s raised eyebrow stops him from disagreeing with him. “Okay. If you’re sure…” Is what he ends up saying.

“I’m sure.” Brian leans over and gives him a quick peck on the lips, then goes back to eating.

They finish their meal, indulging in occasional small talk.

***

“I have a lecture in about ten minutes.” Brian tells Tim, looking regretful, “But Alex is free, if you don’t want to be alone. And I think Jay’s class ends in half an hour? Yeah. Half an hour.”

They’d gone for a little walk after they finished their food and are now walking along Jefferson Avenue in the direction of Bryant Hall. Tim ponders his words for a little while. Then nods.

“Yeah. I think I’ll ask Alex to meet up then. I’ll just text him or something.”

“No need. I already did.”

Tim whips around to stare at Brian. He’s dumbfounded.

“W-when?”

“While you were on the toilet. He’ll meet us at Bryant Hall’s main entrance.”

“You… that was half an hour ago. And you only just now decide to ask my opinion on the matter?”

Brian shrugs. Smirks a smirk so handsome Tim almost forgets what they were talking about.

“Had a feeling you’d say yes.” Is the blonde’s nonchalant explanation.

“Ah. Okay. But, please, next time ask before arranging something for me. I really hate it when people decide things over my head.” Tim says seriously.

“Even when I know what your answer is going to be?” Brian asks, sounding honestly curious.

“Yes. Even then.”

His boyfriend looks thoughtful for a little while. Then he nods. “Okay.” He says, “Okay, I think I can do that.”

“Thank you.” Tim smiles earnestly, squeezes Brian’s hand. Kisses him on the cheek.

Brian chuckles happily. Kisses him on the lips. Soft and warm. His strong hand cupping Tim’s neck, tilting his head just so. Tim’s stomach is full of sunflowers when they release their kiss.

The rest of the walk to Bryant Hall they stay silent, simply enjoying each other’s company, their hands firmly connected.


	17. 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter is short. Not sure I'm happy with this... hope your enjoy anyway :3

Alex is waiting for them in front of Bryant Hall. He’s busy texting someone, agitatedly walking back and forth. As Tim and Brian get closer, they can hear him angrily muttering under his breath.

“Motherfucker… when I get my hands on you, I’ll rip your throat out. Make you eat your own dick for good measure.”

“Should I get some bleach ready?” Brian jokingly interrupts his tirade.

Alex looks up and nods at them in greeting. He furiously types something and then stuffs his phone into his jacket. He sighs.

“Sorry about that. Apparently this guy from your class”, he nods at Tim, “went missing. Joseph, I think? Anyway. One of Joseph’s friends is a complete loony. Got it into his head that I had something to do with the disappearances and murders. Got a hold of my number and has been harassing me ever since.”

Brian gets that intense look again. That cold angry stare. His grip on Tim’s hand tightens.

“And? Are you?” Tim can’t help but ask.

“Am I what?” Alex’s eyes narrow.

Tim soldiers on. “Responsible. For the disappearances.”

Alex, disbelieve clear on his face, stares at him for a full ten seconds. Brian’s grip becomes painful, but Tim doesn’t try to pull his hand away. He returns Alex’s glare, trying to convey that he doesn’t mind if he really is the killer.

“No.” Alex eventually says, visibly relaxing, “No I didn’t kill those fuckers. I considered it, yeah, but in the end I didn’t do it. And anyway. If I ever do end up killing someone, I’d shoot them in the face.” He pats his lower back and smirks a little.

“Okay.” Tim says.

He stares. For some reason the thought of Alex blowing someone’s brains out excites him. Preferably one of the creeps’ that molested him as a child. A giddy little laugh escapes his throat. Brian’s grip on his hand loosens and Tim’s fingers tingle as blood rushes back into them. Alex’s smirk turns into a genuine smile.

“Sometimes you’re such a weirdo.”

Tim’s heart stops. Did he mess up? Will they leave him now? He wouldn’t be able to deal with that.

They must have noticed his distress, because Brian’s fingers begin to pet his and Alex cups his cheek, leans close to his face.

“I think it’s cute…” He whispers and kisses him.

An entire field of sunflowers blooms at once. Sharp edged they dig into his organs, squeeze his lungs and tickle his heart. His free hand claws at Alex’s back as he returns the kiss, forceful and bruising. He tastes blood. It only spurs him on.

When they finally break apart, Alex’s smiling lips are red and swollen. Tim’s mouth tingles. He licks across his bottom lip, catching a drop of blood. Seems like the cut there opened again. Tim glances to his right, at Brian. The blonde is looking at them, cheeks slightly flushed and eyes glassy. On a whim Tim pecks his lips.

Brian’s snaps back to reality and smirks, licking up the blood Tim left on his mouth.

“I want to show you guys something.” Brian’s voice sounds strange. If he hadn’t spent the last two hours with him, Tim would have sworn he was high.

“Don’t you have class?” Alex asks.

“Fuck class. This is more important.” Is the response.

“Okay.” Tim says. With a raised eyebrow and an “Alright.” Alex agrees as well.

Brian leads them to his car. Shooting each other questioning glances, Alex and Tim get into the backseats. Brian starts the car and off they are.

***

The car ride takes almost an hour. Tim tried to stay awake, honestly, but after about thirty minutes of comfortable silence, he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. When he wakes up again, he’s slumped against Alex. The car is parked. They’re surrounded by woods. Unfamiliar, dense woods. A shiver runs down Tim’s spine.

When Tim sits up, his cheek feels wet. A quick glance at Alex’s arm confirms his fears. He drooled all over his boyfriend. He mutters an embarrassed “Sorry about that…”

Alex simply smiles at him, pecking him on the lips.

They exit the car. Brian’s already waiting for them, casually leaning against the vehicle. When Alex closes the door behind himself, the blonde straightens up, grins and motions for them to follow him. Already feeling uneasy, Tim grabs Alex’s hand. The taller shoots him a quick glance, before they start making their way through the unfamiliar forest.

Brian leads them along an overgrown, almost invisible, trail. They have to walk one after the other, with Alex in the middle and Tim making up the rear. Tim has the eerie feeling of being watched. Like there are thousands of eyes hiding in the underbrush, their stares burning holes into his back.

Tim doesn’t know how long they trudge through the woods, but it feels like centuries. Centuries of burning gazes and sharp branches grasping, tearing at him. What could Brian possibly want to show them to bring them to a place like this?

Just as he’s about to break and demand they turn around and leave, Brian stops. He crouches at the foot of a strangely grown tree, its bark knobbly and almost resembling a face, and fumbles around with something. Only when the blonde steps back, does Tim realize it’s a trap door.

“It’s an abandoned fallout shelter. I found it a while back when walking Mrs. Larsson’s dogs.” Brian explains and stands to the side.

Alex raises an eyebrow at the blonde before entering. Since they are still holding hands, Tim has no choice but to follow him. Brian follows and closes the door behind himself. He locks it with a resounding clang.

They are immediately engulfed by darkness. Tim sucks in a sharp breath, freezing up. There is no way he’s going to go anywhere in this complete darkness.

There’s a click and the cramped staircase they are in is flooded by light. Alex starts descending, tugging Tim along. At the bottom of the stairs is another door. It looks heavy and is locked with several bolts and chains. Brian procures a key chain from who knows where and starts unlocking everything.

It takes a while, but after a few minutes the door finally opens. The room beyond is too dark to see what it could hold. Brian flips a light switch hidden next to the door. Tim’s eyes widen. His mouth opens in shock. What the light reveals. He can’t believe what he’s seeing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no! It's a cliffhanger! I'm sorry?


	18. 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a feeling this chapter is a little messy. My migranes really haven't been kind to me. So, sorry in advance and if you find any mistakes or logical errors, feel free to tell me.

The room is pretty small, only about 250 square feet. It looks surprisingly cosy, white walls, wooden floor and a comfortable looking couch in the far right back corner. The back wall has a door leading, somewhere.

In the middle of the room, there’s Joseph, tied to a chair. He looks exhausted, his bare chest covered in bruises and cuts. There’s rusty red spots on the plastic blanket covering the floor beneath him. He tiredly blinks in their direction.

Tim doesn’t realize he’s walking closer to the bound man, until he hears the door bang shut behind him. He turns to see Brian locking it up again.

“You’re the one, who…” Tim starts. He’s still in disbelieve. Brian is the killer? How? Why? And more importantly…

“Yes.” The blonde interrupts his train of thought, “I killed Lacy. I killed Mr. Leeds. I’ll kill Joseph. And after that, your uncle is next.”

Tim feels himself flush hotly. His fingers twitch. There’s a strange noise stuck in his throat. The sunflowers in his chest almost choke him.

“Fuck me…” He almost whispers the words, intently staring at Brian.

The blonde visibly swallows. “If I knew this is your reaction to this, I’d have told you sooner.”

He cups Tim’s face, brushing his thumb along his cheek bone. And then their lips meet. It’s hot and deep and Tim wants more, more, more. He feels Brian’s fingers tickle his hips, slipping under his shirt to run up his back. Their mouths separate and the blonde attacks his neck, sucking and biting until the skin feels tender. Tim’s rasping breath is impossibly loud in his ears and he tries to stifle the embarrassing noises he makes with his knuckles.

“Phuggin’ creebs…” Joseph’s slurred words are like a bucket of ice is dumped over Tim’s head. He tries to jump away from Brian, but the blonde holds fast onto him.

“Shut your ugly face hole, or I’ll make you a new one.” Alex sounds more pissed than Tim ever heard before. Glancing in his direction reveals him pointing a gun in Joseph’s direction, thumb on the safety, trigger finger steady. Tim’s eyes widen and he bites his bottom lip.

“Please don’t.” Brian says calmly, “I’m not done with him yet.”

Alex sighs, puts the gun into a holster, which is fixed to his belt, and pulls his blue hoodie over it. “I can’t promise anything…” he mutters, then walks over to the sofa and slumps down onto it.

Brian’s eyes meet Tim’s. He smiles, that amazing, handsome smile only Brian can pull off. “Sorry about that. I usually don’t gag them, but I can if you want me to.”

Tim shakes his head. “It’s okay. Was just surprised, is all.” He places his hands onto Brian’s back, pulls him closer. He can feel Brian pressing against his waist. Tim shudders. Sighs when the blonde starts moving against him.

“You’re amazing. An amazing mystery. I never know what you’re thinking.” Brian whispers against his neck, starts to attack the tender flesh with his teeth and tongue again, “I’d love to fuck you right here, right now. But I think I’ll save that for our anniversary. For tomorrow.”

Tim gets tugged to and pushed onto the couch. Brian descends upon him, kisses him hotly, gripping his hips. He works their hips together. “For now this has to suffice.” The blonde says under his breath.

***

“We should have started doing this sooner.” Tim sighs. He feels sticky, but doesn’t care.

Next to him Brian chuckles. “Probably.” He agrees. Kisses Tim. He feels warm and soft and the sunflowers choke Tim up. They separate. Tim takes a deep breath. Steels himself.

“You said…” Tim avoids Brian’s gaze, stares at his hands, fingers fiddling with each other, “You said that my uncle’s next?”

“Yeah. To be honest, I’ve been planning on killing him from the moment you said he was your first love. I don’t take kindly to competition.”

“But you don’t mind me and Alex?” Tim glances at the aforementioned, who’s sitting on his other side. Alex smirks at him and takes his hand.

“You’re both mine.” Is all Brian says.

“Okay…” Tim grudgingly accepts the answer, knowing that he won’t be getting any further explanation.

They fall into silence. Tim’s eyes wander to the bound Joseph. The blue haired is positively glaring in their direction. Ignoring the hostile gaze, he instead focuses on a pair of parallel cuts on his biceps. They look deep, the edges frayed. Almost as if someone sawed into the flesh. He wonders what Brian used to cause them.

“Don’t kill him.” Tim says.

“What?!” Brian jumps up, agitated, “Whether you’re talking about your disgusting uncle or that piece of shit over there, you’re not gonna stop me from destroying them.”

Tim glances at his fuming boyfriend. “My uncle.” He clarifies, “I don’t want you to kill him.”

Brian’s face turns red. He’s gaping, fists shaking in barely contained rage. It’s obvious he’s about to explode. Tim could elaborate, but he’s a little curious about what Brian will do, angered as he is. The blonde doesn’t disappoint. He fists Tim’s shirt.

“You don’t get a say in who I do and don’t kill. And if you try to stop me, I’m gonna tie you up and lock you in my closet until I’ve killed them. And then I’ll make you eat their dead body. Raw.” He growls.

Tim raises an eyebrow. He can feel Marty trying to take over, but not this time. This time he’s strong enough to stay in control. There is no reason to fear Brian.

“While eating human flesh doesn’t really appeal to me, I don’t mind my uncle dying.” He smiles at the blonde, “I just think that since it’s my live he destroyed, I have dibs.”

Brian blinks, confused. Then he visibly deflates, lets go of Tim’s shirt and sits back down. “You’re something else…” he mumbles.

“So… promise you won’t kill him? You can still cut him a little if you want to…”

The blonde tiredly smiles at him. “Yeah. Sure. You get to kill him.”

“And this place. Can I do it here?” Tim really does like the bunker, even though it’s in the middle of the woods. It’ homely. Kind of.

As an answer Brian simply nods.

“Thank you.” Tim kisses his boyfriend on the cheek, “I’ll start getting their names as soon as possible.”

“Whose names?” Alex suddenly pipes up.

“The other guys’. Apparently my uncle used to hand me around.”

“I’m gonna help. And that’s final.” Brian firmly states.

Alex nods. “Me too.”

The corners of Tim’s mouth twitch up. His revenge is starting to sound a lot more doable now. He has Brian and Alex by his side. He has a partner in the creature.

“Yeah.” He grins, “Let’s do this.”

Alex leans over, kisses him. “Let’s hunt us some paedophiles.” The taller whispers against his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah. I was contemplating whether I'll write explicitly write the smut, but in the end I decided against it. Maybe in the future? Not now though.  
> Also: while I have no problem with people not commenting, comments do make me write faster.


	19. 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 16. Whew. And it keeps getting longer.  
> Also: thank you for all the nice comments. Especially [Eggplantouma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggplantouma/pseuds/Eggplantouma), who's commented on every chapter. You're the best! (Also also: read [Eggplantouma's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggplantouma/pseuds/Eggplantouma) stuff, if you haven't already. It's amazing.)

Tim can’t sleep. Not that he ever really can. But today it’s not only the usual insomnia keeping him up. He’s excited. And wary. In order to obtain the names of the people his uncle let rape him, he has to talk to the creature. Or Marty. And he doesn’t know how the masked alter is going to react to that. Especially after he managed to block him out that day.

And what if they don’t know who the guys he is looking for are? What if he has to approach his uncle for answers instead? He really doesn’t want to do that. And not only because he wants to save the pervert last.

An annoyed groan comes from the other side of the room. Tim turns to see Noah sitting up. His glare is palpable, even in the darkness of their dorm. “Seriously man. I fucking get it. You have fucking insomnia. But could you at least fucking TRY to stay quiet? Your damn sighing and mumbling is keeping me the fuck awake. I have to get up fucking early tomorrow.”

Tim hadn’t realized he was being noisy. He murmurs a quiet sorry. For a few seconds it’s quiet. Noah shifts and lies back down. “Just keep it down, man…” he grumbles, before turning to face the wall.

Knowing that sleep is unobtainable, Tim gets up as quietly as possible. He puts on Brian’s jacket, slips into his shoes, grabs his phone and makes to leave the dorm.

“Where you goin’?” Noah’s sitting up again.

“Just gonna phone Jay. He mentioned something about some kind of movie marathon. Won’t be able to sleep anyway.” He answers, a little annoyed at his roommate’s question.

“Alright. Don’t stay in the cold too long. Wouldn’t want you to fuckin’ freeze to death.” With that Noah lies back down, apparently viewing the conversation as over.

With an annoyed huff Tim leaves. He’s not a child. He can take care of himself. Doesn’t need an overbearing roommate. He unlocks his phone and selects Jay’s number.

 _“Yeah? Hello?”_ His friend answers the call.

“That movie marathon you talked about. You still at it?” 

_“Yes. Yes we are. Wanna join us?”_ Jay sounds excited. He had been asking Tim to join him. Several times in fact.

“Yeah. Sure. Where you at?”

Jay tells him to meet up at the main entrance of Burke hall. Tim agrees and they say their goodbyes. He stuffs the phone into his pocket and pulls the jacket tighter around himself. He probably should have at least changed into thicker pants. His pyjama bottoms aren’t doing much to ward off the November cold. He starts walking at a brisk pace to keep at least a little warm.

***

Turns out Jay, Jessica and Jay’s roommates are marathoning the ‘Leprechaun’ movies. Tim hasn’t seen them before, but they did come up in Alex’s long winded monologues about the art of film making.

The films are bad. To the point of sometimes being painful. To better endure the torture they drink beer. After about an hour, Tim’s starting to feel warm and fuzzy from the alcohol, one of Jay’s roommates suddenly gets up.

“I’m gonna bail. Am too tired for this…” He yawns and rubs his eyes under his glasses.

“Awww. Come on Vinny. We’re only halfway through the third movie!” The other friend, Evan if he remembers correctly, whines.

“Dude. You may not have classes tomorrow, but I do. I’m going to bed now. Good night.” And with that he leaves for his room.

“Spoilsport…” Evan mumbles, rolls his eyes and goes back to watching the movie.

Tim doesn’t want to put up with the film anymore either. He decides it’s time to confront Marty. Closing his eyes he mentally calls out to the alter. When he feels the other reaching out to him, he lets himself be pulled into the mind room.

Marty’s sitting at the table again. He warily eyes Tim. Tim sits opposite him and folds his arms across his chest. For a few seconds they seize each other up.

‘I’m not sorry.’ Marty eventually breaks the silence, sounding defiant, ‘That I told Amy we have DID. And I’m not going to stop being friends with her.’

Tim sighs. ‘How about this? You ask before telling anyone, and I won’t interfere with your friendships.’

Marty disbelievingly stares at him. If he had a mouth, it’d probably be agape right now. Then he clears his throat and mumbles something under his breath, looking everywhere but at Tim.

‘What did you say?’ Tim enquires, raising his brow.

Green eyes snap up to meet his again. ‘What about a girlfriend?’

Tim, at first, doesn’t know how to react. A girlfriend? Did Marty want one? Why? In the end all he can say is: ‘You want a girlfriend?’

Marty’s eyes narrow. ‘Not right now. But maybe in the future. I’m a person too, you know.’

Biting his bottom lip, Tim contemplates this revelation for a bit. ‘I…’ he mutters after a while, ‘I’m not sure. I’ll have to think about that. Talk to Brian and Alex… They may not… like that …’

He expects Marty to get angry. To start antagonising him. But he doesn’t. Instead the alter simply nods, looking content.

‘Okay. You do that.’ He chirps, a smile in his voice.

‘You- You’re not mad? I thought you hate Brian?’

Marty starts avoiding his gaze again. ‘I- No. Not really. I just… I just want you to be safe. Us to be safe. And happy. With lots and lots of friends, doing a bunch of fun stuff.’ The alter happily chuckles, ‘If you’re going to date a murderer, I’ll have to look out for you and make sure he doesn’t end up hurting you.’

Tim smiles. ‘Okay.’ He says.

They fall into companionable silence.

After a while Tim asks: ‘You think the movie is over?’

Marty shrugs. ‘I can take a look if you want?’

Tim nods his consent. Marty vanishes. Now alone, Tim starts tapping his fingers on the table. How is he supposed to bring Marty’s potential girlfriend up to Brian and Alex? It would definitely destroy any good will between him and Marty if anyone the alter cares about ends up dying at his boyfiends’ hands. And Brian already knows about that Amy girl. And while Tim doesn’t really care what happens to her, having Marty as an enemy would be a real pain in the ass.

As if summoned by his thoughts, the masked man appears again. ‘Nah. The weird gold obsessed goblin is still killing people.’

‘Ah.’

Speaking of killing. What about Tim’s vendetta? Is Marty okay with it? He certainly hasn’t brought it up. Maybe Tim should just ask?

‘About my uncle…’ He starts, unsure on how to continue.

‘He’s a very bad man. If something happens to him, I won’t shed a tear. Be careful though.’

Tim can’t help but let out a relieved laugh. It would have made his mission infinitely more difficult if Marty had a problem with it. Maybe the alter would even be willing to help?

‘The other men’s names. Do you-?’

‘No.’ Marty interrupts him, ‘I don’t know their names. But I know how you can find them. They always paid uncle afterwards. And you know him. He keeps a ledger for all his money stuff.’

His uncle’s ledger. A tangible lead. Something to physically obtain. It’s relieving fears Tim didn’t even realize he had.

‘Thanks Marty. For everything.’ And Tim means it. It feels good, knowing that he has someone in his corner. Someone who’ll never leave him. No matter what.

‘It’s okay. We’re friends after all.’ Marty says, tilting his head. There’s a happy sparkle in his eyes.

Tim smiles. ‘Yeah. We’re friends.’ Forever, he thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have not seen the Leprachaun movies, but I've been told they're not very good.


	20. 18

When Tim comes to, Jay, Jessica and Evan are worriedly looking down at him. He blinks a few times, trying to find his bearings. A quick look around tells him he’s still on the sofa in Jay’s dorm’s living room.

“Wha-?” He mumbles, wondering why everyone is staring at him.

“We were worried, man! You just spaced out and didn’t respond to anything anymore. What the hell happened?” Evan rants, gesturing with a phone in his hand.

“Ah. That.” For a moment he contemplates telling them about his DID, but in the end decided that if Marty has to ask first, it’s common courtesy for him to do the same. “That just sometimes happens. Nothing to worry about.”

“You sure?” Jay sounds worried, “Evan can still call the ambulance if you need it.”

Jay’s concern is touching. Tim smiles at his friend and nods. “Yeah I’m sure. I’m completely fine. Just zoned out for a bit.”

“If you say so…” Jay sounds disbelieving, but thankfully drops the topic. Instead he informs him that he and the others decided to stop their movie marathon for now, it is well after 4 in the morning after all, and that they’ll continue in the evening. “Feel free to join us again.”

“Ah. Sorry, but I’ll have to decline. It’s Brian and I’s one month anniversary, so…”

“Oh! It’s already been that long hasn’t it? Congratulations!” Jay, with a big grin on his face, hugs him, “We can continue tomorrow then.”

Tim awkwardly pats his friend’s back. He doesn’t want to continue watching those dreadful movies, but Jay’s enthusiasm is contagious, so he regretfully agrees. When the other finally lets go of him, Jessica steps up and puts her hand on his shoulder.

“Congratulations. I’m happy for you.” She says, a small smile lifting the corners of her lips.

He thanks her, feeling his cheeks grow hot. He tries to avoid her gaze, when he notices Evan staring at him. Realizing Tim’s attention on him, the guy smirks.

“So… Brian, huh? You a gay then?”

“Yeah. What of it?” Tim narrows his eyes.

“Nothing.” Evan answers, raising his eyebrows, “Nothing at all. Just wondering.”

“Oh boy! I’m tired. You wanna stay the night, Tim?” Jay intervenes, “You’d have to use the couch though.”

Tim gratefully accepts, knowing that if he went back, he’d only disturb Noah. And since he probably won’t sleep anyway, staying on the sofa isn’t really a bother. Jay offers him a toothbrush and after their evening hygiene is taken care of they wish each other good night. Or more like morning.

Evan vanishes into the room he seems to share with Vinny. Jessica and Jay go into the other room, leaving Tim alone.

He sits down on the sofa and retrieves his phone from his pocket, starts idly fiddling with it. Plays some games. Wonders how he’ll get his hands on his uncle’s ledger. Breaking into his place is a no go. It’d only alert him to something being up. Or at least put him on his toes. Which leaves a family visit as his only option. Now he only needs an excuse for such a thing to take place. And a way to distract his uncle so he can break into his office and find the ledger.

Before he realizes what he’s doing, he texts Brian and Alex, asking if they’re up for a family introduction. Surprisingly Alex immediately responds, asking what he has in mind. They write back and forth, in the end deciding that it’s probably best for Tim to introduce him and Brian as friends. Not that his uncle’s opinion matters, but Tim doesn’t want to risk being turned away at the door.

After that decision is made, they continue writing each other. When Tim mentions the ‘Leprechaun’ marathon, Alex goes into a long rant about the state of the horror movie industry. Despite enjoying discussions with his boyfriend, Tim still ends up falling asleep.

***

When Tim wakes up the sun is streaming through the windows. He’s lying down on Jay’s sofa and a blanket has been draped over his body. He sits up and stretches. His back pops painfully. Sleeping on a couch is a real pain in the… well… neck.

He’s about to get up when a door opens and Evan enters the room. For a moment they stare at each other. Then Evan lets out a small chuckle and heads for the dorm’s exit. He takes his time first putting his shoes on and then slipping into his jacket. Before leaving he turns around.

“If I were you, I wouldn’t wait for the lovebirds” With his head he motions to Jay’s room, “to get up. They’ll probably stay in there until late afternoon.” And with that he’s gone, the door softly clicking into its lock behind him.

Alone once again, Tim decides to do as advised. He gets up and neatly folds the blanket. Seeing as he has neither pen nor paper and doesn’t want to just leave without saying anything, he gets his phone to at least text Jay. He has to search for a bit, since he was texting when he fell asleep. In the end he finds it under the couch.

He sends a text, puts on his jacket and as he’s about to slip into his shoes, he realizes he’s still wearing his pyjama bottoms. He didn’t really mind with Jessica, Jay and Jay’s roommates, but he doesn’t really want the whole campus to see him walk around in pink pants with cartoony sunflowers on them. On that note, he should probably throw them out. They were a present by his uncle after all.

With a defeated sigh he calls Alex. The other doesn’t answer. Probably asleep. Or in class. When he tries Brian, his boyfriend does pick up the call.

 _“Tim? You okay?”_ For some reason he sounds worried.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

_“Alex called a few hours ago. Said the two of you were texting, when you suddenly stopped responding.”_

Alex worried about him. Tim can’t help but smile.

“Sorry. I fell asleep.” He sheepishly admits, embarrassedly biting his bottom lip.

 _“Phew. I’m glad you’re okay. I think I must’ve called you about fifty times.”_ Brian chuckles.

“You did?” That sounds kind of excessive. On the other hand, if their positions were reversed, he can see himself do the same thing.

 _“And texted you too.”_ There’s mirth in his tone, _“If you’re not calling back, then what did you want?”_

“I’m at Jay’s and I only have my pyjama bottoms. Jay’s busy with Jessica, so I can’t ask him to lend me some, so could you bring me some pants, please?” It’s a kind of embarrassing thing to ask and Tim feels his face go a little hot.

_“Sure. I’ll be right there. Love you.”_

“Love you too.” Tim mumbles.

With a click the call ends. Sighing he lets himself fall back to lie on the sofa. Now all he can do is wait. His stomach grumbles.

To distract himself from the hunger, he decides to check the texts Brian sent him. 67 missed calls, 49 by Brian and 18 by Alex, and 72 new texts, also mostly sent by Brian. It’s a wonder his phone still has battery. Most of the texts can be summed up with ‘where are you?’ and ‘are you okay?’. A few are pleads for him to answer. None of them are really important.

Just as he stuffs the phone into his jacket pocket, there’s a knock at the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Base64  
> C39


	21. 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. For some reason this chapter was really hard to write. I hope it doesn't show too much ^^;

“Those are not my pants.”

The jeans Brian is holding have ripped knees. Tim knows for a fact that he doesn’t own any pants like these. If his parents ever saw him wearing something ‘unsightly like that’, they’d throw a fit.

“I know. I wasn’t sure if your roommate was in, so I brought you a pair of mine.” Brian shrugs and extends the jeans to him.

“Okay…” Tim takes them. They feel soft, like they’ve been worn and washed often. When he puts them on, they’re a little long and just the tiniest bit too tight around his hips. Tim bites his bottom lip and warily eyes the fat rolls forming at the waist band. Maybe he should lose some weight?

Suddenly Brian grabs his hips, kneading the soft flesh. “Mmmmh. I like how that looks on you.” He breathes and descends his lips onto Tim’s. Tim’s eyes close and he reciprocates, hands finding the small of his boyfriend’s back. The kiss is sweet and unhurried. The sunflowers tingle.

When they pull apart, Brian is grinning, showing off his perfect white teeth. “Let’s go, he says, “We have somewhere to be.”

“We do?” Tim asks suspiciously.

“Yep.” His boyfriend pops the p, “Anniversary date. Reserved us a table on the way over.”

“A table? Where?”

The blonde chuckles. “You’ll see.” He holds out his hand.

Tim takes it. They leave Jay’s dorm, Brian with the pink pyjama pants thrown over his shoulder, uncaring of who might see.

***

After a short stop at Brian’s dorm, so Tim can take a shower, they take the blonde’s car to drive to the River. They are immediately taken to their table and offered menus. After ordering their food, they sit in pleasant silence.

“You texted me about visiting your uncle?” Brian suddenly asks.

“Uh. Yeah.” Tim clears his throat, “He has something I need. I’ll need you to distract him.” He says this quietly, making sure nobody overhears his words.

His boyfriend nods in understanding. “You got a date? Time?”

“Not yet. I have to call my uncle first. But not today. I don’t want him to ruin our anniversary.”

Brian’s smile lights up the room. The sunflowers in Tim’s stomach go crazy.

Their food arrives and they dig in. It’s delicious and though Tim was contemplating holding back, he ends up clearing the plate anyway. And, against better judgement, he has dessert as well. In the end he has to pop open the button of Brian’s pants. The other had insisted, more like demanded, he keep them instead of getting better fitting ones from Tim’s dorm.

After they finish their meal, Tim tries to pay the check, but Brian stops him, insisting he take care of it. With a sigh Tim gives in. “But next time, I’ll pay.” He insists. Brian’s only answer is a chuckled “We’ll see.”

***

“Can we stop at my dorm? Just for a moment. I need to get something.” Tim asks. He and Brian are on their way to Bryant Hall. To have some alone time in Alex’s dorm. They would have gone to Brian’s, but apparently Seth and Sarah need it. And Alex’s roommates are never there anyway.

“Don’t change the pants.” Is all his boyfriend says before switching on the indicator to signal his turning into the street that leads to Harris Hall.

“Okay.” Tim concedes. The pants are uncomfortable and he can’t close them, but if Brian likes him wearing them, he guesses he can live with a little discomfort.

They reach his dorm in no time and Tim hops out of the car. He stored the item he wants to get in the drawer under his bed. When he turns to leave after putting it into his pocket, he comes to be face to face with Noah.

“Ah. Hey Tim.” He smiles awkwardly, “Sorry for snapping at you yesterday. I was just… tired.”

Embarrassedly Tim looks at his shoes. “Yeah. I get that. And I’m sorry too. For being too noisy…”

A hand lands on his shoulder. Looking up he sees Noah grinning at him. “’S all good, man. Now go and do your thing.”

Tim laughs uncomfortably. “Yeah…”

***

When Brian and Tim reach Alex’s dorm, their boyfriend is still there, busy packing his backpack. The moment they enter, he looks up and smirks for a moment, before going back to what he was doing.

“Make yourself comfortable.” Brian tells Tim, motioning for the couch.

Tim shrugs, “Sure.”, and sits down. He lounges back and watches his boyfriends quietly converse. Brian looks jovial, hands in his pockets, lips slightly upturned. Alex on the other hand is a little tense, occasionally glancing in Tim’s direction. Tim wonders what they are talking about, but their voices are too low for him to understand them. Maybe he should learn to read lips?

After a few minutes Alex sighs, tension leaving him. They say their goodbyes and he leaves.

Brian lets himself fall onto the sofa next to Tim, laying his arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. “Sooo… we’re alone now.” He murmurs.

“Yeah…” Tim side eyes his boyfriend.

“Nobody will disturb us now.” The blonde huskily whispers, leaning closer.

Tim slightly turns away, fumbles with his jacket. He pulls something from his pocket. A small wrapped gift, which he hands Brian.

“Here…” He mumbles, “Happy anniversary…”

The blonde looks taken aback. He slowly takes the present, examining it, brows drawn together.

“You can unwrap it, you know…”

At that Brian’s gaze snaps up to stare at Tim.

“You got me a present…” He sounds disbelieving.

“Of course. That’s what you do on an anniversary.” Tim starts to doubt himself, “Right?”

“Yeah.” The blonde starts smiling. With slightly shaking fingers he tears open the wrapping.

“A flash drive?” Brian looks at him with raised brows.

“I… Yeah. I recorded you some songs… But… uhm… wait until you’re alone to listen to them.” Tim sheepishly says, biting his bottom lip. His fingers twitch.

Brian beams. “Thank you.” He whispers, carefully storing the flash drive in his wallet. “I love you…” He leans over and kisses Tim. The kiss starts out slow, but becomes heated fast. They grab at each other, fingers clawing at each other’s clothes. Tim feels the sunflowers in his throat, choking him, spilling over. Soft sunflower stems moving against his insides.

“We should…” The blonde manages to speak against his lips, “Alex’s room.”

They somehow manage to make it to Alex’s bed, losing clothes along the way. His boyfriend pretty much throws him onto the piece of furniture, before descending on him. Happily Tim lets himself be devoured by Brian’s fire.


	22. 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talking to my best friend a while ago and a comment by the lovely [Eggplantouma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggplantouma/pseuds/Eggplantouma) made me realize that there are a lot of behind the scenes things going on that Tim either doesn't know, doesn't notice or doesn't care about, so they'll probably never get mentioned. Thought I might as well share some.
> 
> So. Side Note 1: Seth's parents are loaded. And while Seths father hates Brian and Alex, because he's afraid they'll infect his precious son with the gay, Seth's mother loves them. She's the one who pays their student loans and made sure that Seth and Brian would share a dorm. She also made it so Alex's dorm is really close to Brian and Seth's. She also pays off Alex's roommates so that they leave whenever he wants the dorm to himself.

Tim’s hands shake. His breathing comes in short, fast bursts. His teeth brutally worry his bottom lip, reopening the cut there. He tastes blood. His eyes are trained on the device he is holding.

Just do it!

His thumb hovers over the green call button.

A hand lands on his shoulder. He flinches. Turns to look at Brian. They’re sitting at the table in Alex’s dorm. The blonde smiles at him. Encouragingly. Warmly. Tim takes a deep breath. Tries to calm down. Looks at his phone again. At the name of the contact he selected. Erin Wright.

His grip on the device tightens. That name. That person. He used to be the one Tim trusted most. The one person in his live he could rely on. The one who made him love sunflowers. If only he’d asked. Tim would have let him do the things he did.

But his uncle just had to go behind his back. Betray his trust. And sell him to others. Spurred on by anger, Tim finally manages to press the button.

 _“Wright Erin speaking, who’s there?”_ His uncle answers after the third ring.

“Uncle Erin. It’s, uhm, me. Tim.”

 _“Timothy! It’s been a while. Are you going to visit again?”_ The man has the audacity to sound excited.

“That’s actually what I’m calling about. Guess I’ve been talking to my friends about you and now they want to meet my ‘cool uncle Erin’.” Tim shivers, the words tasting like sick on his tongue.

 _“You have friends?”_ Erin says derisively, _“Give me a minute to recover from that shock.”_ Taunting laughter.

Tim can just about hold himself back from throwing his phone across the room. Brian starts soothingly stroking his back.

 _“Phew.”_ His uncle recovers from his laughing fit, _“That was a good one. Seriously though. You don’t need to make up an excuse to visit little old me. My doors are always open for my cute nephew.”_

Tim feels like throwing up. “I’m not making my friends up…”

Brian’s hand stops for a moment, before he says: “I’m not made up!” Loudly.

For a while there’s nothing but the sound of breathing from his uncle’s side of the call. Then. _“Alright. How about this weekend? I’m looking forward to meeting those ‘friends’ of yours.”_ The way he says ‘friends’ is akin to a curse.

“Yeah. That sounds good. I’m looking forward to it.” Tim’s not talking about the visit.

They exchange a few more pleasantries. His uncle asks him about university, about his grades and about the murders he heard about in the news. Tim tells him everything is fine and then makes up an excuse about having to go to class. Well, it’s not really an excuse. He does have class. He just has a little more time than he lets on.

When he finally ends the call, Tim feels relieved. Like a huge weight has been lifted off his heart. He giggles. One step closer to his revenge.

***

The day drags on slowly. It’s hard to concentrate in class. Tim’s thoughts keep drifting off. To his uncle. To the ledger. To last night. Brian.

His fingers keep nervously twitching.

When he finally leaves his last class of the day he’s exhausted. Looking forward to a nice dinner and relaxing in front of the TV, when “Excuse me.” He’s suddenly approached from behind. He spins around and comes face to face with a stern looking man. He’s at least nine inches taller than Tim, wears a suit and has shorn short dark hair.

Next to that intimidating mountain of a person stands a considerably shorter woman. She’s clad in jeans and sweater, hands stuffed in her pockets, honey blonde hair done up in a loose bun. And while her posture is slouched, her gaze is intensely fixed on Tim

“You’re Timothy Wright, right?” asks the man.

Tim nods.

“I’m detective Blake” he shows a badge, “and this is my partner detective Larsson.” She, too, holds up her identification, “We’d like to talk to you about the murders and disappearances that have recently been happening on this campus.”

Tim blinks, feels his heart pound in his chest. He tries to stop his fingers from twitching, but fails. Do they know? How? Since when? His head hurts.

“Sure.” He says and nods.

“You look nervous…” Larsson lazily remarks.

Tim worries his bottom lip. Tastes blood. Again. He forces himself to look into Blake’s eyes.

“We’ve been told that you are friends with the missing person. Joseph DeLage.”

Troy Wagner. Joseph’s best friend. He must’ve told them about the guy’s infatuation with Tim.

“I… not really…” Tim mumbles, “He usually sits next to me in History 1. We occasionally talk.”

Larsson is jutting down notes into a notebook.

“Do you know of any enemies he might have?” Blake asks.

Tim shakes his head. His bottom lip starts to really hurt. He looks everywhere but at the detectives. Spots someone behind them, staring at him. Alex.

“What about Mr. Richard Leeds. He was the professor who taught History 1, right?”

Tim nods. Hopes Alex will just come over. Help him. A glance reveals Alex talking to someone on the phone.

“Know of anyone who didn’t like him?”

He almost laughs at the absurdity of that question. “It’d be harder to find someone who did like him.”

Blake’s gaze sharpens, almost like a knife cutting through him. “Please elaborate.”

Tim swallows heavily. “He was a pervert. Always grabbing students. Asking favours for grades. That kind of stuff…”

The scratching of Larsson’s pen on paper is obscenely loud in Tim’s ears.

“Did he ‘grab’ you? Ask you for ‘favours’?”

His right hand finds his left arm. Starts scratching.

“Not really. He’d usually just breathe down my neck. Say some suggestive stuff…” He shrugs.

“Did you hate his doing those things?”

“I… didn’t like it. But I wouldn’t go so far as saying I hated it. It was just an… inconvenience.”

Larsson raises her eyebrows. “You call sexual harassment an inconvenience?” She sounds baffled.

“I… well… I only ever saw him once a week. And he never really did anything too bad… so…”

“He only harassed you once a week, so you think it’s okay?!” Now the female detective starts to sound angry.

“No! I don’t! I just!” Tim starts to hyperventilate. His left arm hurts. He can’t breathe. He has to sit down.

A gentle hand touches his back. Another cups his cheek. “Breathe. Slow and steady. Breathe with me. In. And out.” He focuses on the soft voice. Follows the instructions. Leans into the person crouched in front of him. Lets them pry his fingers from his arm. Someone is heatedly shouting. He doesn’t pay them any mind.

When his breathing finally normalizes, Tim looks up. His eyes meet Alex’s. The other smiles at him. “Welcome back.” It’s almost a whisper. Tim hugs him.

After a little while they break apart and get up. His limbs are still shaky and he grabs Alex’s hand for stability.

“Tim. You alright?” Jay. And standing next to Jay is Jessica. They worriedly look at him. Where did they come from?

Tim nods, not trusting himself to say anything yet.

“I’m sorry.” Detective Larsson pipes up, “I didn’t know about your stalker.”

Tim side eyes Jay and Jessica. What did they tell the officers? Jay smiles at him.

“We’ll stop this interview for now. Please call us should you see anything suspicious.” Blake hands Tim his business card. He takes it with shaky fingers and stuffs it into his pants pocket.

The detectives bid them farewell and leave.

“Let’s get you to my dorm.” Alex says, “I’ll just call my roommates to let them know we’re coming.”

Tim gratefully slumps against his boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything I know about police procedure, I know from crime series and movies. So I apologize for any mistakes made. Please tell me should you spot any.


	23. 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little in between chapter. Not much happens in this, to be honest. Hope you like it!
> 
> Side Note 2: Tim's parents are snobs. They are middle class, with a middle class income, but like to pretend they are rich. To them appearance is everything. Tim doesn't see it as majorly important, but he was often alone because his parents worked several jobs to keep up their excessive life style. He also didn't go to school, but had several private teachers, none of which stayed for more than a year.

Alex is pacing. From the loveseats in front of the window, past the sofa, to the kitchen and back. He keeps muttering under his breath, occasionally whipping out his phone and looking at the screen, before stuffing it back into his pocket. Jay and Jessica are sitting on the couch, quietly talking to each other, and Tim occupies one of the loveseats, tiredly watching the goings on.

Suddenly Alex’s phone lights up. The tallest of the four stops in his tracks, hastily taps the screen and puts the device up to his ear. “Brian!” He breathlessly exclaims, “Where are you?”

Tim can’t hear the response, but it must not have been good, since Alex’s lips turn down in a frown.

“Okay. Stay where you are. The police questioned Tim.”

Alex starts pacing again, his left hand clenching and unclenching at his side.

“I don’t know! Didn’t get around to asking him yet. Those assholes made him have a panic attack!”

Embarrassedly Tim looks at his feet. Why does he always get so worked up over things? Why is he so weak? Panicking at the slightest problem. Pathetic. Angry at himself, at his incompetence, he grinds his teeth, clutches at his thighs.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it. You just stay safe.” Alex’s voice interrupts his self deprecating thoughts. He’s stopped pacing again.

Then his boyfriend visibly relaxes. “Yeah. Okay. Until then.”

A small smile lights up Alex’s face. “Me too. Bye.” He says and then ends the call.

Letting out a long sigh, his boyfriend takes off his glasses and massages the bridge of his nose. Turning to Tim he replaces the spectacles and walks over, settling into the other loveseat. He reaches over and takes Tim’s hand.

“Okay. First things first. Tell me what those detectives wanted from you and what you told them.” His boyfriend asks.

Alex’s thumb soothingly strokes the back of his hand. Tim elaborates to the best of his abilities. There are some gaps in his memory and he doesn’t always know the exact phrasing of the things that were said, but he hopes it suffices. Once he’s done, his boyfriend turns to Jay and Jessica.

“What did that woman mean with, ‘I didn’t know you had a stalker’?”

Jay begins fidgeting. “She was angry that you didn’t take Leed’s harassment seriously, so I told you had other things to worry about.” The answer is directed at Tim.

“Okay…” Tim sighs, “But what exactly did you tell her?”

“Just that. That you had a stalker. And that everything is resolved now.”

“Okay.” Alex sounds thoughtful, “I can work with that.”

***

To put their minds at ease, at least a little, they decide to Netflix and chill at Alex’s. Jay orders pizza while Alex sets up the TV. Tim doesn’t know what they ended up watching, because he falls asleep while they’re still debating that what movie to pick.

When he jolts awake, the living room is dark and he’s alone. He swallows heavily. He feels sticky and shaky and generally uncomfortable, the blanket someone must have thrown over him too hot. An intangible feeling of dread is gnawing at the back of his mind. He forgot what he dreamt, but he knows it must’ve been something bad, the remnants of fear still coursing through his system. He throws the blanket off to cool down a little.

It’s quiet. Too quiet. There’s not even the ticking of a clock or soft sounds of someone moving around to break the oppressing silence. 

The moonlight streaming through the window barely illuminates the coffee table. There are some magazines on it, but Tim can’t make out the titles. And right next to them is a phone. He grabs it, planning on using it as a light source to hopefully find someone. Anyone.

Switching it on reveals that it’s most likely Alex’s. The background is a picture of a young Brian looking at the camera in surprise, an ice cream cone in his hand. The wide eyed expression on his face makes Tim chuckle a little.

Since he doesn’t know the code to unlock it, Tim resolves to relight the screen whenever it goes black. He carefully makes his way through the dark room, only narrowly avoiding tripping over a rucksack that’s leaning against the sofa.

Once Tim reaches the kitchen, he turns to his right. Alex’s room is the one farthest in that direction. The little anteroom has five doors. One leading to a closet, one to a bathroom, one back into the living/dining room and two to bedrooms. Tim lightly knocks on Alex’s.

There’s some shuffling and someone talking under their breath, before the door cracks open. His heart almost leaps out of his chest, when bright spots appear in the gap. An arm shoots out and snatches the phone from Tim, revealing that the spots were simply Alex’s glasses reflecting the light from the device’s screen. They are plunged into darkness.

“Why did you take my phone?” His boyfriend asks, voice emotionless.

“I… uhm… Light. I, ah, needed light. Because it’s dark…”

Hopefully Alex isn’t angry. He should’ve just sucked it up and left the phone. Maybe looked for his own. His fingers twitch.

A sigh. “Alright. Did you need something?”

Tim narrows his eyes, trying to see at least something. A shape, maybe. But there’s nothing. His thumb anxiously rubs at the nail of his pointer finger.

“I…” He feels his face getting hot, “Lonely… I’m just…”

The creaking of a door. Fingers find his shoulder, brushing against his arm on their way down to take a hold of his wrist. He’s tugged forward a few steps. The click of a door shutting. Hot breath hitting his forehead. The grip on his wrist slackens slightly, thumb lightly stroking along his pulse.

Tim thought it impossible, but the inside of Alex’s room is somehow even darker than the outside. He knows there is a window. His boyfriend must have thoroughly covered it.

Some rustling. Then a whisper. “Take your clothes off.”

Tim blinks. Then proceeds to confusedly unbutton his flannel. He’s tempted to ask why, but has a feeling that something would break should he say anything right now. Once he’s down to his underwear, he uncomfortably shifts, unsure what to do next.

A slightly rough, warm palm presses against his chest. Slowly wanders down to his hip. Tim shivers, his heart pounding in his ribcage. The sunflowers make themselves known once again, fluttering against his bones, soft stems burrowing into his guts. His lips part, breathing a little faster.

“Let’s go to bed.”

The hand on his hip guides him in the direction of said furniture. Once his shins bump against the soft mattress, he crawls onto it. He lies down, carefully laying his head on the pillow. There’s a light clacking noise. The surface dips, a hot body slotting against his, skin on skin. A blanket is draped over them, an arm settling around his waist.

“Good night.” Alex quietly murmurs.

There’s the whisper of lips against Tim’s neck. Then everything is quiet. His boyfriend’s breathing soon becomes slow and deep.

Tim closes his eyes. He knows he won’t be able to sleep any more today, but this is nice. He closes his eyes and relaxes, the fear of his nightmare gone.


	24. 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had lots of fun writing this chapter. I hope you have fun reading it too!
> 
> Side Note 3: Alex got a typewriter from Brian for his 18th birthday. He likes using it to write cheesy romantic letters and it's his most prized possession.

Saturday comes faster than Tim would have liked. It feels like no time has passed between calling his uncle and him and his boyfriends standing in front of a plain white door with a garishly yellow felt sunflower hanging just below the peephole. Tim remembers making it as a kid. He’d stung his hands far too many times and while the needle wasn’t sharp, his fingers were hurting really bad by the time he presented it to his uncle.

At the memory his fists clench and his eyebrows draw together in a frown. To think he put this much work and pain into something for someone so vile. A hand on his shoulder. Glancing sideways reveals a worried looking Brian. His gaze seems to ask: Are you going to be okay? Tim nods, steels himself, and rings the doorbell.

For a few moments there is nothing. Then the sound of footsteps. A click. The door opens. And he’s face to face with the one person he’s come to hate the most. The man’s wearing a too wide smile, creating small dimples in his stubbly, slightly chubby, cheeks. Adorning his torso, another of Tim’s childhood creations. A white apron with lots of big and small sunflowers painted on it. At least they are supposed to be sunflowers. Most of them look more like yellow blotches.

“Timothy! Please! Come in!” as he turns to look at Brian and Alex, the happy expression morphs into a frown, “And these guys can come in as well, I guess…”

“Thanks for your hospitality!” Brian beams. When he enters the house he deliberately doesn’t scrape his shoes on the doormat, dragging mud and dirt into the spotless hall.

Alex looks a lot less bubbly, instead grumbling something incoherent, but he too leaves some mud stains on the hallway carpet. Seeing the way his uncle scowls at the mess, Tim decides to follow his boyfriends’ example.

“Please take your shoes off.” His uncle grumbles.

Brian, who’s halfway down the hall, turns back around, chirps a happy “My bad.” And throws his shoes into a corner next to the door. Alex is a bit more civil about it, but not by much, simply dropping his shoes on top of Brian’s. Tim toes off his own footwear and leaves them where they are.

His uncle leads them into the dining room. The room is big and bright, the furniture held mostly in green and yellow pastel colours and one wall has giant windows that overlook a neatly kept backyard, which houses mostly different kinds of sunflowers. A great percentage of those are Tim’s.

The table is already laid, two sets on one side and two on the other, as far apart from each other as possible. Brian and Alex sit down on opposite sides. Tim decides to take the seat next to Alex, having a feeling that Brian would be more comfortable handling his uncle. Said man’s frown darkens even more, but he doesn’t say anything, just storms off in the direction of the kitchen.

Brian’s leaning back in his chair, arms folded behind his head, shit eating grin on his face. Tim can’t help but share his boyfriend’s satisfaction, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. A glance in Alex’s direction shows him rolling his eyes at the blonde’s childishness, but his smile betrays his approval.

Footfalls coming from the kitchen make Brian’s mask of innocence snap back into place. He gapes, wide eyed, at the pot of spaghetti his uncle deposits in the middle of the table.

“Wow! This looks really good, Mr. Wright!” he says breathlessly.

His uncle’s answer is an annoyed huff, as he takes his place next to the blonde.

***

Lunch is an absolute disaster. At least is must be from his uncle’s perspective. Brian constantly talks with his mouth full, dropping bits of food everywhere, and Alex ‘accidentally’ knocks over his juice. Several times. His excuse: “Sorry. I forgot my glasses at uni.”

Halfway through his plate of pasta, Tim gets up and excuses himself ‘to the bathroom’. But instead of going to the toilet, he takes the stairs to the second floor. His first hurdle in getting the ledger is the locked door to his uncle’s office. Fortunately Brian used the time before coming here wisely and taught him how to pick locks. It takes him a few tries, but eventually a satisfying click resounds and the door swings open easily.

The office is neatly organized, a shelf lining one wall, books and folders carefully organized on it. The big desk in the middle of the room is just as clean. He’ll have to make sure to put everything back the way it is.

Not really knowing what to look for, Tim decides to start with the desk, carefully pulling out drawers and inspecting their insides. Nothing. Maybe on the shelf then. Again. A dead end. Frustrated he looks around the room, knowing he’s already taking too long. Maybe he missed something? A hidden compartment in the desk? A safe behind a painting? He really hopes it’s not the latter. There’s no way he’ll be able to break into a safe.

He goes back to the desk. Softly knocks on the sides and peeks under the things in the drawers. Strangely, there’s a piece of white string in one of them. It’s painfully out of place between neatly organized papers. On a whim, he pulls on it. The drawer has a second bottom. And hidden in the now revealed secret compartment is a black notebook.

Tim carefully takes it out of its hiding place and opens it. Inside, written in small neat letters, is page upon page of dates, names and numbers. It’s most definitely the ledger. He delicately retrieves his phone and photographs every page, making sure that the writing is legible in the pictures.

Once he’s finished, he puts everything back where he found it and quietly exits the office. He relocks the door and sneaks back down to the dining room.

Brian is currently telling a story about how his football team, the Alabama Crimson Tide, completely obliterated a team from some other university. Loudly. Probably with his mouth full too. Tim lets out a quiet chuckle. His uncle must be livid.

He puts on a mask of indifference and enters the room. Everyone’s already finished eating.

“You’ve been gone for a while.” His uncle comments, visibly happy to ignore Brian.

“Yeah… sorry about that…” Tim nervously scratches the back of his head.

“It’s okay.” His uncle’s tone of voice conveys that no, it’s not, “Just… finish your food.”

Tim nods and sits. The spaghetti are a little cold by now, but still good. He has to grudgingly admit, that his uncle is a decent cook. He finishes his meal as fast as possible, not wanting to stay for much longer. After he’s done, his uncle asks if they want dessert. They decline.

His uncle watches them while they’re putting their shoes on.

“You can stay for a bit longer if you want to, Timothy.” He drawls.

“Ah. I’m sorry. There’s this project I have to finish. It’s pretty important for passing my course.” He replies. It’s a lie.

“Okay…” The man sounds angry, “Feel free to come back any time you want, Timothy. I like having you over.”

Tim forces himself to smile. “Yeah. I’ll keep that in mind.”

They say their goodbyes. The door clicks shut behind them. A physical barrier between him and his uncle. Brian and Alex take his hands as they walk to the blonde’s car. For the first time in hours, Tim feels like he can breathe freely.


	25. 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why, but this chapter took a lot longer to write than it should have. Sorry about that XD
> 
> Side Note 4: Seth owns a dog, a big, fluffy, blonde thing. The dog loves Alex. Alex hates it. (At least he claims to. Really, its teeth just make him uneasy.)

Turns out that the ledger documents every single private sale his uncle partook in. Tim, Brian and Alex are sitting on Brian’s bed, looking through the pictures Tim took, him having sent them to their phones. They have to sift through a lot of useless information. They are about to give up, when Alex suddenly tugs on Tim’s sleeve.

“I think I found it…”

It’s an entire section dedicated to the lending out of ‘product T’. A cold shiver runs down Tim’s spine. Can it be? Does his uncle really see him as only a product? An opportunity to make money? A hand lands on his shoulder, fingers painfully clawing into the flesh. Brian looks positively livid.

“That fucker’s going to pay. I’ll make him suffer…” He growls, his face drawn into an ugly grimace, akin to a demonic mask. It makes Tim glad he’s not on the guy’s bad side.

Tim lays his hand atop the blonde’s. “Yeah…”

“You have pen and paper around here?” Alex pipes up, addressing their boyfriend, “I wanna write those bastards’ names down.”

The blonde jolts, nods and motions for his nightstand, face having become unreadable. Alex rummages through the drawer for a bit before he finds what he needs. Having watched the tallest of the three, Tim notices a few new pictures on Brian’s nightstand. One in particular draws his attention. It’s of him, asleep, on Alex’s couch, from two days ago.

He takes it to get a closer look. “Did you take that?” He asks Alex.

“Hm?” For a moment the addressed looks up from where he’s writing, “Oh. Yeah. You looked cute, so I thought Brian might like to see that as well.”

Tim feels his face getting hot. “There you go calling me cute again. I’m really not…”

Alex stops what he’s doing, gaze snapping up to stare at him. “Yes you are.” He says slowly.

Brian’s amusedly snickering in the background.

“No I’m not.” Tim reaffirms, “I’m a fat, hairy guy who has a panic attack every other minute! I’m the stupid third fucking wheel who slept with your boyfriend and got you involved with his stupid fucking revenge! You should hate me, not call me cute!”

A heavy silence falls over the room, the only thing audible Tim’s heavy breathing. He stares at his knees, jaw clenched, hands fisted on his thighs. The bed creaks. Firm fingers take a hold of his chin, making him look into angry brown eyes.

“One.” Alex’s voice is firm, leaving no room for argument, “You’re not fat. Chubby at best, but most definitely not fat. And two. You don’t get to decide whether I hate you or not. You’re my boyfriend. And I think you’re a cute, little, cuddly teddy bear.”

And then there are soft, hot lips on Tim’s. He can’t help but reciprocate, hands clawing at a strong back. Alex’s mouth separates from his, only to start attacking his neck, heavy body pressing down on him, making it hard to breathe. In the absence of air, sunflowers fill his lungs, creeping up his throat.

“If you really think I mind you fucking Brian that much, then I know just how you can make it up to me.” His boyfriend whispers between nips and bites, grinding into him.

“I-Yes. I can do that. I’d like that. Please.” Tim almost gets embarrassed at how pathetic he sounds.

“Uh, guys.” Brian suddenly speaks up, “As much as I’d like to get it on right now, there’s not exactly enough space in here.”

He’s right. Because of the lack of space, the blonde already vacated the bed, standing in what little room there is between the piece of furniture and the door, phones, pen and paper in his hands.

“Sure there is.” Alex sounds exasperated, “You can watch from where you are if you want to stay that badly.”

Brian huffs. “This is my room, you know.”

“Yeah. And I let you have my room when it was your turn.”

The blonde lets out a sigh. “You’re right…” He mutters, “I’ll just go get your camera.” He says and leaves the room.

Alex shrugs “Sure.”, and goes back to ravishing Tim. Tim on the other hand is still, shocked. A camera? Does that mean that Brian will film them? He’s not sure how to think about that.

Noticing Tim’s lack of reciprocation, Alex stops his ministrations. “You okay?” He raises a concerned eyebrow.

“I… Yeah… Yeah I am.” Tim shakily smiles.

“You know you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to?” The taller starts withdrawing.

“No!” Tim’s arms shoot out to keep the other close, “No. I want to. I really want to.”

Alex smiles. Deposits his glasses on the nightstand.

“Then let me show you how cute you are.”

They barely notice Brian coming back.

***

“I’ll let Seth take a look at these names. He’s pretty good at finding people.” Brian says. He’s sprawled on the sofa in his dorm, head lying on Alex’s lap and legs on Tim’s. He’s looking at the list Alex made from the pictures of Tim’s uncle’s ledger.

“Can I take a look at them?” Tim asks, motioning for the paper in his hand.

“Sure.” The blonde hands it over.

There are four names on the list. Louis Campbell, Arnold Walters, Richard Dunn and Maria Chase. None of them ring any bells. With a sigh, Tim puts the piece of paper on the side table. Maybe Marty or the creature know any of them? He’ll have to ask them some day. But not right now. Right now he just wants to relax.

“I’m tired…” Brian suddenly mutters.

“Then sleep, you baby.” Alex good naturedly laughs, starting to pet his hair.

The blonde grins dopily. “Hmmm. That’s nice. You’re my favourite cushion.”

The taller chuckles. “Shut up.” He playfully hits Brian’s shoulder.

Brian settles down and after a few moments begins snoring lightly. Tim’s eyes droop. Maybe he should take a nap too? But he’s too comfortable to get up. Also, he might wake up his boyfriend if he moved too much. And sleeping sitting up is not good for his back.

He glances at Alex. His heart beats faster. A slightly sweaty hand takes his. “Did you ever finish that Leprechaun marathon?”

Tim startles, not having expected to be asked anything. When he regains his composure, he answers. “Ah. No. Not yet. But we’re planning on watching the last few movies on Wednesday.”

“Hmmm…” Alex sounds thoughtful, “I guess I’ll ask Jay if I can join then. It’s been a while since I last saw those movies and while they’re bad, it’s fun to watch them while drunk.”

And then he starts rambling about other movies he likes watching while inebriated, wacky movie tropes and insane on screen kills. Tim only half listens, maintaining the illusion of interest with an occasional “Mhm.”.

Tim’s eyelids are heavy, his mind fuzzy. He feels every breath, getting deeper, slower. Alex’s voice becomes background noise. There’s something soft under his cheek. He’s warm and cosy. He smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it wasn't already, it's now very much official. Brian's a total creep XD


	26. 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow. This. Took much too long. I'd say I was busy and had writer's block, but that would only be half true. I was also a little lazy and watched too many anime. Sorry about that.
> 
> Side Note 5: Brian hates pickles. Once, when they were 15 years old, Alex asked him why. "They are alien eggs. They'll hatch in your stomach and then the little alien babies eat your organs." Was his answer. Until this day Alex isn't sure whether Brian was serious or not.

Louis Campbell is in his fifties, a little on the heavier side and looks like he’s permanently surrounded by a cloud of aftershave. On every picture in the folder Seth gave them, he’s wearing a suit and has his receding greying hair plastered to his head by a generous amount of gel. There’s a wedding ring on his left ring finger, but according to the file, he’s divorced. He has kids, who are about the same age as Tim, and whom he rarely sees. Apparently he also collects model trains.

“This is how we’re going to get him.” Is what Brian says once he reads that. He’s sitting at the small table in his dorm.

“What is?” Tim, who’s sitting opposite him, asks, looking up from his copies of the file.

“The model trains. I’ll find out which ones he’s looking for right now. I can use that to lure him in.”

And with that the blonde gets his laptop and starts typing away. Tim looks at the papers again, a little lost.

“And how can Alex and I help you?” He asks.

“Oh you don’t need to do anything. Just sit there and look pretty.” Is the dismissive answer. His boyfriend didn’t even look up from what he’s doing.

Tim huffs, a little annoyed, and gets up. “Alright. If we’re that useless, then we might as well leave. Come on Alex.” He angrily gets up and expectantly looks at his other boyfriend, who perks up from his position on the couch.

At this the blonde looks up sharply, gaze cold and hard. Tim just stares back. There’s no way he’s going to back down. The tallest, on the other hand, looks a little lost, gaze darting between him and Brian. “Uhm…”

Tim raises an eyebrow at him, holding out his hand. Alex hesitates for a few more seconds, and then gets up, takes the hand. They leave Brian’s dorm together, blue eyes glaring daggers at their backs.

***

They decide to go to the park in front of Amelia Gayle Gorgas Library. The same one in which Seth found Tim just over a week ago. They quietly walk next to each other. Tim bites his bottom lip. His fingers twitch. Did he do the right thing? Maybe he shouldn’t have gotten angry like that. Brian is much better than them at this kind of thing after all.

He abruptly stops walking. “I’m sorry…” He tells Alex, “I shouldn’t have pulled you into this. Now Brian’s angry at both of us…”

The taller turns to face him, sighs. “It’s okay, I guess. I was angry at what he said too.” He chuckles, “And if it weren’t for you, I probably would have stayed there and not said anything. It felt good to just walk off like that.” He takes Tim’s hand in his.

Tim smiles, returns the grip. They continue walking.

***

About an hour later, Alex’s phone rings. When the display shows it’s Brian who’s calling, Tim almost tells him to ignore it. With a click his boyfriend takes the call.

“Yeah?”

Whatever the blonde is saying, Alex’s face doesn’t betray any emotion as he listens. After a while he sighs. “Okay…” He says and ends the call. Brown eyes turn to lock with Tim’s.

“I’m going back to Brian’s dorm. It’s up to you whether you want to come.”

Tim’s fingers twitch. He wants to come with Alex, but… What if Brian doesn’t like him anymore? What if he’s so angry with him that he’ll be on the receiving end of his boyfriend’s demonic stare? He shivers. He wants to face the blonde. Wants to work together with him. But his body is frozen.

It’s night. He’s lying in bed, his roommate softly snoring on the other side of the room. His phone is on the bedside table. A quick check reveals he only lost a few hours. He’ll have to ask Alex what happened while he was out. But not right now. Tomorrow. With a sigh he tries to sleep.

***

Tim’s still staring up at the ceiling when the morning light starts creeping in through the window. His eyes hurt and his brain is foggy. He desperately wants to sleep, but know that that won’t be happening any time soon.

He closes his eyes. Maybe he should talk to Marty? Now that he thinks of it, he wonders why that didn’t occur to him sooner. If he wants to know what happened yesterday, the best person to ask is the one who took over his body. Mind made up he lets himself fall into the mind room.

Marty is sprawled out on the couch. It’s currently the only furniture present in the endless white. His eyes turn to look at Tim when he comes closer, but he doesn’t move otherwise.

Tim awkwardly shuffles his feet. ‘Uhm…’

The masked languidly blinks. ‘Is there anything you want?’

‘Yeah, actually. Last night. Evening. Whatever. What did you do?’ He tries to sound casual, but it most likely comes out a little anxious.

‘Nothing. Sleep. Be bored. Wonder when you’ll finally ask Brian about my getting a girlfriend.’ That last part sounds a little accusatory.

‘What do you mean, nothing? I was in the middle of talking to Alex when you took over!’

Marty lets out a little laugh. ‘That’s the thing though. I didn’t. You should probably talk to Raphael if you wanna know more. By the way. When are you going to talk to Brian about my girlfriend?’

The creature took over? He must have been really stressed if it felt the need to.

‘Where is it? How can I talk to it?’

Marty shrugs. ‘No idea. The big guy comes and goes however he pleases. The only one who knows where, is him. Also. Girlfriend. When are you going to ask?’

Tim sighs. How annoying. ‘What a bothersome guy…’ He’s talking about both his alters.

He feels Marty’s gaze. Green eyes unblinkingly stare at him. He rolls his own eyes. ‘Yes. I’ll ask him soon. Just. Chill.’

‘I’ll hold you to that.’ The alter says, his eyes lighting up happily.

‘Yeah… See you. Or something.’ Tim mutters and returns to his body, not bothering to wait for a reply.

The time on his phone shows it’s a few minutes past seven. His first lecture for the day doesn’t start until nine, so he still has some time to kill. He’s about to call Alex, when a message notification shows up on his phone’s screen. It’s from Brian. He hesitates for a moment before opening it.

_> I got the price. Have it stored at my special place.<_

A shiver runs down Tim’s spine. His breathing picks up. A persistent smile pulls at his lips. He excitedly jumps off his bed and dials the blonde’s number.


	27. 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ho boy. Things are happening now. I've contemplated whether I should up the rating because of this chapter and in the end I decided to better be safe than sorry. So now this fic is rated M. Have fun ;P
> 
> Side Note 6: Uncle Erin used to have a cat whom Tim dearly loved. One day the cat disappeared and when Tim asked his uncle about it, he denied ever having one. Tim still sometimes wonders whether he imagined it.

When Tim reaches Brian’s dorm, the blonde is already waiting for him, leaning in the slightly ajar door. He smirks and widens the opening, motioning for him to enter. Tim swallows heavily and does so. He’s nervous, the altercation from the day before still fresh in mind. There’s also the question of what happened while the creature was in charge of his body.

His trepidation grows once he realizes he and Brian are alone in the dorm. He awkwardly looks around, his fingers twitching. In the end he decides to sit on the sofa, feeling it’s a lot less uncomfortable than standing in the middle of the room.

“You sure are fidgety.” Brian comments and lets himself fall onto the sofa next to him.

The tingly sensation of fingers touching the back of his neck, slowly drawing a line down his body, following the spine. Tim shivers. The hand stops at the small of his back, staying there. It’s warm. He wants to relax into it.

“I… what happened yesterday…” He stammers.

“Don’t worry. I forgive you.” Brian interrupts.

Tim stiffens. His hands ball into fists and he has to resist the urge to slap the blonde’s fingers off his back.

“You. Forgive me?” He says in utter disbelieve.

“Yeah. Your hissy fit was annoying, but I just can’t stay mad at you.” Brian sounds as though he actually believes what he’s saying.

“I threw a hissy fit?”

“Like a little girl.” His boyfriend laughs, “But seriously though. You have to learn to get over yourself. One day I’ll get tired of listening to your stupid demands.”

Tim blinks. Blinks again. He heard that right? Right? Brian really just said that. A pained laugh escapes his lips. He jumps up and slaps Brian’s hand off his back.

“Stupid demands?! I put up with your shit! Let you walk all over my boundaries! And you have the gall to say that my expecting at least a little bit of respect from you is stupid?! Fuck this! Fuck you! This is over! I break up with you! I’m outta here!”

Red faced, fist itching to connect with a face, Tim forcefully turns to leave. Brian catches his wrist, nails digging into his flesh. Furious, Tim turns and punches him. Instead of letting go, the grip on him tightens.

The blonde throws him onto the sofa, catching his other wrist, pressing them into the soft cushion. Brian’s breathing heavily, teeth bared in a snarl, eyes burning.

“You. Are never! Going to leave me. And if I have to keep you locked up somewhere.” He growls, his grip on Tim’s arms so tight, Tim’s fingers start to tingle.

“Fuck you! You’re the worst boyfriend ever. Alex is so much better than you!” Tim spits with as much venom as he can muster.

Brian suddenly becomes very calm, letting go of Tim, face an unreadable mask. Tim is too shocked at the sudden change to move. He gets a very bad feeling. He knows he’ll have a panic attack if he doesn’t leave. Right. Now. He gets up and starts walking towards the door.

“I didn’t want to have to resort to this…”

What? Tim’s gaze snaps to his boyfriend in confusion. A little prick in his arm. Dark brown eyes widen, mouth falling open in voiceless horror. Fogginess starts to spread through his brain, body becoming heavy. He stumbles. Strong arms catch him. His hands twitch, hanging uselessly at his sides. Soft fingers glide through his hair. A kiss to his temple.

“I love you.” Is the last thing he hears before the darkness pulls him under.

***

When he comes to, Tim’s lying on something soft. His eyes blink open and his gaze immediately lands on an underwear clad man, bound and gagged, tied to a chair. Louis Campbell. It’s most definitely Louis Campbell. Tim would recognize those tiny, watery-grey eyes and caterpillar like eyebrows anywhere, even with his face puffed up and swollen as it is.

With that person being here, the only place he can be is Brian’s secret bunker. Knowing that, Tim gets up and tries to walk towards the exit. After a few steps he feels a tug on his leg. Looking down reveals a leather shackle around his left ankle, a padlock securing it closed and a chain connecting it to the floor next to the sofa.

Heaving a defeated sigh, Tim sits back down onto the couch. This is a little overkill, he thinks. It’s not like he’d be able to leave with all the locks on the door.

Suddenly there’s clicks, then a clang and the door opens. Brian and Alex enter the room, the blonde diligently locking behind them, before turning to look at Tim. Tim glares back at him. With some satisfaction he notes the dark purple bruise on the other’s left cheek.

A long, drawn out sigh leaves the blonde’s lips. “I really didn’t want things to have to come to this. But alas, you left me no choice.”

“Fuck you.” Tim growls.

Brian chuckles. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to hurt you. And I’ll only leave you here until you come to your senses. Then everything can go back to the way it was before your little freak out.”

Tim doesn’t answer, simply glowers at him. The blonde’s lips twitch upward and he motions for Alex to sit down next to Tim. The taller complies, expression unreadable. For a moment Tim contemplates asking him to help free him, but, knowing the other’s loyalty to Brian, decides against it.

A calloused, slightly sweaty hand slides around his, closing his fingers around something small and pointy. Needles. Tim’s gaze snaps up at him, surprised. The corner of Alex’s mouth slightly quirks up, fingers squeezing his fist, before letting go.

While Tim hadn’t been paying attention, Brian had put on a yellow hazmat suit and black mask with a red frowning face painted onto it. In his black gloved hand he’s contemplatively weighing a heavy wrench. He walks a few circles around Louis Campbell. Then, suddenly, he strikes, hitting his shoulder. The older man screams beneath his gag and struggles against his bonds.

Brian laughs serenely and winds up for another strike. The wrench meets flesh again and again, leaving behind half moon shaped marks all over the man’s arms. Sometimes the pointed ends break skin, blood welling up and dripping down to the plastic covered floor. Tim can’t look away. His breathing picks up. It’s beautiful.

When Brian eventually stops his barrage, it’s all Tim can do not to frown disappointedly. The wrench is discarded onto a tray, which the blonde then carries into the room at the back of the bunker, the door softly clicking shut behind him.

Tim and Alex silently wait. Louis Campbell is crying. Tim just wants to punch the guy. His sobs are annoying. And there’s a high chance that Marty cried whenever that pig had his way with him. Tim’s pretty sure that the garbage sitting in that chair didn’t show any remorse.

After a little while, Brian leaves the back room, clean and back in his regular clothes.

“Ahhh. I really needed that.” He moans and stretches his arms over his head, “Come on Alex. Let’s go. See you tomorrow, Tim. Love you!”

He throws Tim a kiss and starts the long process of unlocking the entrance. Alex gets up and squeezes Tim’s shoulder. He smiles and whispers a small “Love you.” Tim almost gasps, sunflowers exploding in his stomach. But before he can return the sentiment, Alex has already left the room, door closing behind him.

Tim waits a few minutes after the echo of the last lock clicking shut has faded, just to be sure Brian won’t come back, before he looks at the needles Alex brought him. Sewing needles. Fortunately they are the sturdy kind. Tim starts working on the padlock keeping the shackle on his ankle shut.


	28. 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My google search history is... interesting. And this chapter definitely contributed to that.
> 
> Side Note 7: Brian used the promise of selling him a Lindberg U25B to lure Louis Campbell in. It's a very rare model train that was never officially released and it just so happens that Sarah, who also collects model trains, owns one.

It doesn’t take Tim long to pick the padlock keeping the leather shackle on his left ankle shut. He frees himself of the offending piece, gets up and stretches. His gaze falls on Louis Campbell. He regards the man contemplatively. Brian really did a number on him. He’s covered in bruises, cuts and dried blood.

He heads for the back room. Tim’s never been in there and he’s a little curious. Especially since Brian keeps his hazmat suit and mask in there.

The door opens easily, apparently not locked. It leads to a short hallway with two more doors leading off of it. The one on the left reveals a little bathroom, complete with a shower cubicle and toilet. Behind the right door is a small bedroom, barely fitting a bed and closet.

Tim lets himself fall onto the bed. He takes a deep breath. It smells of Brian. Burying his face in the cushion, he breathes in again. And again for good measure. He contemplates staying right there. Sleeping. But in the end his curiosity as to what is in the closet wins.

Opening it reveals five yellow hazmat suits, neatly arranged on clothes hangers. On the little shelves to the right there’s black masks and gloves. And on the bottom is a wooden box without a lid. When he sees what’s inside the box, Tim can’t help but giggle. It’s an assortment of tools. Wrenches, screwdrivers, saws, knives and the like, all carefully arranged inside little compartments.

Tim’s hand slips into the inside pocket of his jacket, feels for his own knife. He shivers when his skin touches the cold metal of the hilt. He takes it out of the pocket, flicks it open to reveal the beautiful blade. Light and dark metal swirling together, creating the effect of waves rippling across the steel.

There is a thought. It’s persistent. Nagging. He smiles. So Brian wants to take away his revenge? Well, he can try. Tim closes the closet and leaves the room.

Louis Campbell is still crying. Big ugly sobs, muffled by the gag in his mouth, and shoulders occasionally heaving. He walks around the pathetic piece of meat until he stands in front of the man. Grey eyes look up at him, red and swollen. Pleading for his help.

“Marty…” Tim addresses his alter.

Bushy brows crease in confusion and the bound man tries to say something. It’s barely understandable and Tim doesn’t care about the man’s words anyway.

‘Yes?’ Comes from the one whose reaction he was waiting for.

“This piece of shit. What did he do to us?”

For a few moments there’s silence. Then. ‘He liked dressing me up in his daughter’s clothes while doing it. Called me her name too.’

Tim sneers. What a creep. He fingers the blade in his hand.

“When will Brian be back, what do you think?” He wonders aloud.

‘He did say tomorrow, so it’ll be a while.’

“Hmmm...”

He eyes abused skin. Takes off his jacket and throws it onto the sofa. Presses the blade of his knife against a hairy thigh.

“Then I can take my time...” He mutters and cuts, eliciting a scream.

The skin parts easily, blood immediately welling up and running down the width of the leg, dripping to the floor. An indescribable feeling floods Tim. His hands shake, breathing picking up. He feels tempted to lick the red staining the steel of his weapon, but decides against it. Doesn’t want to catch any diseases Louis Campbell might have.

He rests the trembling knife against the skin below the cut. Caresses it. Presses down. Penetrates. His breath hitches as more blood is drawn. Swallowing heavily he drags the blade down, lengthening the opening. Almost loses his grip on the knife when he draws it back.

“How many cuts, do you think, I can make before he dies?” He ponders.

‘Let’s find out.’ Marty sounds as excited as Tim feels.

He smiles. This is going to be fun.

***

Tim doesn’t notice when Louis Campbell’s heart stops beating, too caught up in creating beautiful red ribbons. He does, however, notice the once ample flow of blood become sluggish, the drip drip dripping becoming slower. By the time he realizes the man is no longer breathing, his hand is cramping and twitching from the strain. Decorating his victim are too many cuts to count.

He lets himself fall back. Lies down on the ground, shaking, sweating. The once warm blood on his skin flaking off, itching. He needs a shower. And sleep.

He struggles to get to his feet and drags himself to the bathroom. Steps into the shower, not even bothering to take his clothes off. The warm water on his skin feels like heaven. Sighing he slides down, leaning his head against the tiled wall. For a while he just sits there, letting his mind drift. Thinks of red. Red everywhere. On his skin, in his mouth, drowning in a sea of blood.

A sudden wave of queasiness forces him to the toilet, emptying his stomach’s contents into it. The sting in his throat and his painfully cramping stomach force tears into his eyes. His hands feel numb. All he can see in his mind’s eye are fleshy ribbons of skin and rivers of blood. He flip flops between feeling sick and elated. Hysteric laughter leaves his lips.

He sinks to the floor, listens to the sound of water hitting the shower’s plastic floor. Tears flow freely. The laughter dries up. He cries silently.

***

By the time he finally manages to get himself back under control, his limbs are stiff and painful. He shivers in his cold wet clothes. Mindlessly he turns off the shower and walks back into the bunker’s main room. Walks past the bound corpse to the sofa. Picks up his jacket. Finds his phone. Wonders, for a moment, why Brian left it. He gets his answer when the top of the screen shows he has no signal.

With a sigh, Tim goes back into the bathroom. Strips and leaves his clothes in a heap on the floor. Walks into the bedroom. Crawls into bed, drawing the blanket around himself like a cocoon. He breathes deeply, falling asleep surrounded by the smell of Brian, a small smile on his lips.

***

The banging of the bedroom door being thrown open rips Tim from his slumber. Groggily he looks up to see Brian standing in the doorway, an unreadable expression on his face. Blue eyes lock with sleepy brown. For a long moment everything is silent, Tim not daring to move, to breathe.

Then the blonde starts to slowly walk towards him, hands drawn into fists at his sides. The air shudders out of Tim’s lungs, coming in short, nervous puffs. His fingers twitch, itching to scratch and tear at skin. A hand is lifted, heads for him. Catches his face in a soft grip, thumb caressing his cheek.

“You never cease to amaze me…” Brian says, before he descends onto him, brushing Tim’s lips with his own.

Tim hungrily returns the kiss. The air between them feels electric, shivers rushing up and down his spine, torso filled to bursting with sunflowers. They soon become desperate, tearing at each other. Grinding, panting, biting.

“I love you.” Is whispered into Tim’s ear, hot breath caressing the shell.

“I love you too.” He manages to say as sharp teeth descend onto his neck.

He pulls Brian onto the bed, tugging at his clothes. A chuckle escapes the blonde. Then he proceeds to devour Tim.


	29. 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter yet! I'm tired...
> 
> Side Note 8: Brian once saved Seth from drowning. Ever since then Seth looked up to Brian almost like he's a saint, which is why he does whatever Brian asks of him and never questions him.

Tim is warm. A hot body is pressed against his back, an arm slung over his middle. Soft puffs of breath graze the back of his neck. Fingers tickle his stomach. Tim flinches, but doesn’t remove the offending limb.

“What are we going to do about the body?” he asks.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it.” is the offhand response.

Tim stiffens, turns to icily stare at Brian, mouth drawn into a frown.

“You try to steal my revenge from me again, I’ll cut your dick off.” And he means it. There is no way he’ll let anyone take this from him. This is his vendetta and the only ones who have any right to participate with him are Marty and the creature.

“Tim.” Brian calmly states, “I’ve been doing this for a while now. I know how to properly do this.”

Tim sighs. “I know. That’s why I asked for your help. The key word being help. We’re going to do this together.”

Brian looks at him like he’s talking in a different language. His fingers draw patterns on Tim’s stomach. The ticklish feeling is a little distracting.

After a while the blonde speaks up again. “Why should we do this together, when I can do it just as well alone?”

Tim covers Brian’s hand with his, mostly to stop the blonde from distracting him.

“Because I want to.”

Brian scoffs. “That’s a stupid reason.” He sounds disgusted.

“Okay.” Tim throws Brian’s hand off and starts to get up, “Then tell Seth and Sarah to stop following me. The only reason I let them do it is because you want to. Also, don’t ever film me again. The only reason I let you is because you want to. And don’t you ever tell me who I can talk and sit next to again. The only reason I even entertained obliging is because you wanted me to.”

The blonde’s face becomes blank. He looks as though all emotions have been sucked out of him. The only indication that he’s feeling anything are his clenched fists.

“Liar…” he growls, “You’re a fucking liar. And if there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s liars.”

Caught, Tim turns red. His fingers twitch.

“I…” he mutters, sheepish, “Yeah… I’m sorry. I do enjoy you doing these things. A little. But I definitely let you go farther than I’m comfortable with. Because you like it.”

Brian sighs. “Alright. I’ll let you help this once.” He says. Holds out his hand. Tim takes it.

***

“Since this is _your_ revenge, what do you want to do with it?” Brian indicates towards the body.

“I kinda feel like planting some sunflowers, but it’s too late in the year for that…” Tim ponders, tapping his chin in thought.

“Sunflowers…” The blonde looks at him, deadpan, “I thought you wanted to get rid of that guy’s body.”

“I do. It would make for good nutrients, is all.”

Brian raises his eyebrows as if to say ‘Seriously?’.

“I usually use road kill, but this should work too.” Tim explains.

“You use road kill as fertilizer?”

“Yeah. Why not? It’s not like those dead critters will be missed. And it works pretty well. Did you see my sunflowers at my uncle’s?”

“I did.” Brian says, then sighs, “Alright. We’ll do it your way. Do you have a spot in mind?”

“Not really. You know this area better than I do. I was hoping you knew a place.” Tim admits, feeling a little embarrassed.

“That depends. What kind of place were you thinking of?”

“Some place that’s rarely visited, with enough space and ample sunlight during the summer. Preferably with acidic soil.”

“I don’t know about the soil, but as it happens I do know a place that meets all the other criteria. It’s quite a bit away from here, though. You up to carrying that guy for about an hour?” Brian points at the body.

Tim nods. He’s not really sure if he actually is up for it, but he’ll definitely try. He said he’s going to do this, so there is no way he’s chickening out.

***

Tim is in agony. He’s sweating, out of breath and his limbs are shaking and aching. Louis Campbell’s weight on his shoulder, the plastic they wrapped the body in uncomfortably sticking to his skin. To avoid stains, he’s wearing one of Brian’s suits. It’s itchy and smells weird. He keeps stumbling over roots, barely able to keep up with Brian, who happily walks ahead, only carrying a shovel and a lightly packed backpack.

Sometimes Brian would stop, turn around and ask him whether he wants to give up. Tim’s answer is always the same. “No way.”

Finally, after what feels like hours, they reach a clearing. The sun is already low, orange rays cutting through the thick foliage, illuminating dark green grass and dying flowers. Brown leaves litter the floor. The earth under his feet feels hard and stiff. Looks like digging will be difficult.

With a relieved sigh Tim sets the body down. Brian throws him the shovel and he reflexively catches it. The blonde smirks and sits down, legs crossed.

Tim takes a few deep breaths to stop his hands from shaking. Then he begins searching for the right spot. It doesn’t take him long to find what he’s looking for and he starts digging.

The ground is too hard for him to breach using only his hands, so he has to jump onto the edge of the shovel pan to get anywhere. It’s hard and arduous work and by the time the sun has completely set the hole is barely 20 inches in diameter and 50 inches deep.

Brian gets a flashlight from the backpack and shines it in Tim’s direction so he can see what he’s doing. Tim continues digging. His hands feel raw and his feet hurt, like they are bruised, but he ignores it. He’s going to show Brian that he can do this. He will do this! And he digs and digs and slowly, but surely, the hole is getting bigger.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been digging, when he suddenly hears footsteps and then Brian’s right behind him. The blonde catches his wrist and carefully pries one of his hands from the shovel’s wooden handle. He turns Tim’s hand to reveal that it’s bleeding, little splinters of wood embedded in the palm.

“You’ve done enough.” he whispers, “I’ll take over for now.”

Tim’s too tired to protest and numbly takes the flashlight from Brian, who immediately starts where Tim left off. For a while Tim just stands there, staring off into nothing. His hands shake. There’s something heavy in his chest, painfully pressing against his ribs. There’s pressure behind his eyes.

He sits down, digs his thumb into his wounded hand to keep from crying. Failure. It’s something he’s intimately familiar with, but no matter how many times he fails, he just can’t seem to get used to it.

To distract himself from the hollow feeling, Tim turns his attention to Brian. The blonde has taken off his jacket, his upper body bare safe for a white t-shirt. The thick cords of muscle in his arms strain as he repeatedly rams the shovel into the earth. Since Tim points the flashlight at the hole in the ground, he can’t see his expression, but judging from his grunts and huffs, it’s probably drawn into an intense frown. The same frown Brian always sports when he’s on the football field.

Football. One of many things Brian is good at. Sometimes Tim feels like the blonde is incapable of failing. More akin to a god than a normal human. A mirthless chuckle escapes Tim’s mouth. There he was, complaining to Brian about wanting his respect, when he really hasn’t done anything to earn it. Maybe he should just give up. Let Brian take the reins.

***

It takes Brian at least an hour to dig a hole that’s to his liking. When he’s finally done, he’s out of breath, sweating and covered in dirt. There are even some smears of earth on his face and in his hair. He heaves himself out of the hole and dusts himself off, which only results in his clothes getting even filthier.

“Let’s unwrap that sucker and put him where he belongs.” he says, out of breath.

Tim, who’s only wearing a hazmat suit, underwear and shoes, is shivering. When he gets up his limbs are stiff and ache. The pain in his hands and feet has become a dull throb, but putting pressure on the soles of his feet hurts and he gasps. He nearly stumbles and Brian has to catch him. He bites his lip.

Together they free Louis Campbell’s body from its plastic wrap and heave it into the hole. Then Brian shovels the dirt back into the hole. Once it’s covered to his liking, they begin their trek back to the bunker.

When they finally reach it, the sky is already starting to get brighter. Tim is tired and just wants to go to bed. And judging by his quietness and drooping eyes, so is Brian. They take a hot shower together, brush their teeth and are just about to fall into bed, when Tim’s stomach grumbles. Loudly.

“Ah.” That’s when he remembers he hasn’t eaten all day.

With a tired sigh Brian goes back to the main room, dragging Tim along. He directs him to sit on the sofa and then rummages through his backpack. With a triumphant smile he produces a protein bar and hands it to Tim. He usually hates protein bars, but he’s so hungry he almost inhales it. It doesn’t completely satisfy his stomach, but the rumbling has stopped.

Tim’s about to get up and get back to bed, when Brian hands him a chocolate bar. “Eat that too.” he mutters, “And then let’s go to sleep. I’ll fix you up something proper after I’ve had some shut eye.”

Tim happily complies.

When they finally lie down, Tim feels as though his brain is about to leak from his ears, he’s so tired. A warm arm wraps around his middle and soon Brian is snoring softly. A small smile sneaks onto Tim’s face. He closes his eyes and lets his mind drift.


	30. 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a piece of work. Had to rewrite it several times until I was finally kind of satisfied with it. I'm not 100% happy, but I hope you still like it.
> 
> Side Note 9: I'm too tired to look through my notes right now, so I'll just write here something interesting I found out while researching for this fic. Did you know that there are people out there campaigning for so called green funerals? A green funeral is where someone isn't buried in a coffin at a cemetary, but in a field or something so they can act as fertilizer.

Despite his tiredness, Tim ends up only dozing off for about an hour or two. When it becomes clear to him that he won’t be able to sleep any time soon, he gets up, careful not to wake up Brian. His hands sting painfully when he pushes himself up off the mattress. He should probably take care of them.

When he puts pressure on his feet a pained gasp escapes his lips. Worriedly he takes a look at the soles. They are bruised where he jumped onto the edge of the shovel pan. He bites his bottom lip to keep from making any loud noises when he limps to the bathroom to look for a first aid kit.

He finds the red box with a white cross on the lid in the cabinet under the sink. He gets out the tweezers and starts removing the splinters from his hands, wincing and silently cursing, his shaking hands making the task more difficult than it should be.

***

A few hours later, Brian finds him lounging on the sofa, clad only in underwear and his jacket, idly twiddling with his phone. Since he has no signal in the bunker, he resorted to watching and re-watching the few videos he saved on it. The blonde’s gaze seems to be immediately drawn to his badly bandaged hands.

“Those are much too loose.” he says and kneels on the floor next to the sofa. He carefully takes Tim’s hands and properly redoes the bandages.

Tim’s face feels hot and he bites his bottom lip. He’s such a failure. Can’t even properly treat his own wounds. Blue eyes meet his. They narrow.

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Brian asks. He sounds worried.

Crying? Tim brushes a finger under his eye and, truly, it comes back wet. How did he not notice the tears gathering in his eyes?

“I…” he shudders. For a moment he contemplates lying, but then he remembers what Brian said. About hating liars. “I just can’t seem to do anything right…”

Brian looks taken aback. “What are you talking about?”

“I can’t do anything on my own. I panicked in front of those police officers, couldn’t confront my uncle on my own, couldn’t dig a fucking hole, can’t take care of my own wounds and I can’t even clean. I’ve been up for hours. I know where you keep the cleaning supplies. I should have taken care of the mess I left, well, everywhere, but I just couldn’t get over my aching hands and feet. I’m such a failure…”

Brian strokes his thumb over the knuckles of Tim’s left hand. He’s silent for a moment. Then. “First of all, I’m kinda glad you didn’t clean. I’m very specific about how I want everything to look like. I don’t even let Seth clean our dorm.” he chuckles, “And about yesterday: You carried a grown ass man’s limp body for over an hour. Even I would have struggled with that, and I actually work out. Also, the ground was frozen. It was not easy to dig that hole. I’m actually kind of impressed with your stubbornness.”

“Am not stubborn...” Tim mutters, pouting a little.

Brian smiles. It’s a big goofy smile, eyes scrunched up and teeth slightly exposed. He brings Tim’s knuckles up to his lips.

“Yes you are.” he grins, “And while it can be incredibly frustrating, I have to say it’s grown on me. In fact I’ve actually started to like the challenge.”

Tim rolls his eyes. “I’m not a challenge to be overcome.”

For a few seconds, Brian doesn’t answer, seems contemplative. “No. You’re not.” is what he eventually says, “You challenge me to overcome myself. I know I can be a bit controlling.” Tim raises his eyebrow at that, eliciting a chuckle from his boyfriend. “Okay.” the blonde admits, “I can be very controlling. Especially of those I care about most. Alex never complained about it. Always just agreed with me. I... have a hunch that he’s unhappy with many of my decisions, but he never says anything. You, on the other hand, do. It makes me think. Realize that maybe I’m not always right. Maybe I sometimes fuck up.”

“Everybody fucks up once in a while...” Tim mutters.

“Exactly! I fuck up. Alex fucks up. You fuck up. And that’s okay. So don’t put yourself down. Rather be happy. The first bastard on our list is gone. And we’re gonna get the rest as well.”

“We?” Tim asks sceptically, “I hope that doesn’t mean you doing all the work and me ‘looking pretty’, as you put it.”

“It doesn’t. I promise.” And Brian looks like he genuinely means it.

And Tim just can’t help himself. He kisses Brian. “I love you…” he whispers against his lips.

Brian’s hand finds his neck, gently playing with his hair. The corners of his mouth are curled up when he returns the kiss. It’s warm and soft and like a sunflower field on a beautiful summer day, soft petals caressing his face and chest.

Suddenly there’s a loud growling sound. They break apart and Brian chuckles embarrassedly. “Guess I’m a little hungry.”

As if to answer him Tim’s own stomach rumbles hungrily. “Yeah.” he says, “We should probably get something to eat.”

“We’ll have to think of an explanation for your hands first, though. People are definitely going to ask questions.” the blonde thoughtfully mutters.

“I’ve… actually been thinking about then while I waited for you to wake up. I’ve been wanting to build a new flower bed in my parent’s garden for a while now and since they’re hardly ever home and the maid only comes in on weekends, so… And there’s plenty food there.” Tim shrugs.

Brian beams. “That’s actually perfect! I told the others you are visiting family when they asked where you were yesterday.”

Tim feels touched. The others asked about him? They care. That realization elicits a feeling in him he can’t describe, tough it’s definitely a happy one.

“Okay then. But I still need clothes…” Tim looks at his bare legs. His old clothes are stained beyond saving and there’s no way he’s walking around his parent’s neighbourhood half naked. They’d kill him if anyone saw him.

“I should have a spare pair somewhere around here. Let me have a look.” Brian mutters and turns to go search for them.

Tim’s about to catch the blonde’s wrist, tell him to make sure the pants don’t have holes, but in the end decides that pants with holes are still leagues better than no pants and keeps quiet. Instead he turns his attention back to his phone.

A few minutes later he’s startled by heavy fabric landing on his chest. It’s a pair of faded blue jeans. From what Tim can tell, they’re fortunately without tears. When he glances up, Brian is grinning at him.

“I’ll shower first. Unless, of course, you want to join me.” he says, wiggling his eyebrows, and then saunters off in the direction of the bathroom.

With a smile Tim gets up and follows his boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then they get very wet.


	31. 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to make you wait this long again. The fever's been going around my family and I've been busy, so the next few chapters will probably take a while as well. But on the plus side: this chapter is the longest one yet. And I drew a picture for this story. It can be found at the bottom of [chapter 4](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17353652/chapters/40969205). It's not my best work, but I decided to post it anyway, so enjoy.
> 
> Side Note 10: Seth uses a Nikon D810 Full-Frame DSLR to take pictures of Tim and Alex. Sarah's tool of trade is a Sony Alpha a9, because it's smaller and easier to handle. The both of them regularly bond over their photography, comparing pictures and sharing new techniques.

Tim’s parents’ live in an average middleclass house. Well. It is distinct in that it is very white. White walls, white window frames, white door and off-white roof. Even the curtains visible through the windows are white and Tim is only allowed to plant white flowers on the property.

“Wow. This is… not what I expected…” Brian comments once Tim points the house out to him. He parks his car on the designated space in front of it and, after getting out, takes a moment to marvel at the literally white picket fenced house.

The garden gate opens easily and silently. A white cobble stone path, framed by rows of small white flowers, leads to the front door. Tim gets the keys from his jacket pocket and unlocks it, only managing on his third try due to his nervously shaking hands. Fortunately Brian doesn’t comment on it.

The inside of the house is the same as the outside. The walls, the carpet, the furniture and all the doors in the front hall are white. Even the frames of the family pictures, depicting Tim and his parents standing stiffly in front of a white background, frozen smiles on their faces, are of that same colour.

Tim and Brian leave their shoes on the shoe rack and Tim leads his boyfriend to the kitchen. It’s just as sterile as the rest of the house, all white counters and stainless steel, perfectly clean and, since Tim moved out, barely used.

Brian drops the shopping they got on their way here on the pristine counter and starts looking through the drawers, probably trying to locate where everything is. Tim snickers, knowing that his parents would flip their shit if they saw this.

“What’s so funny?” Brian turns to look at him, eyebrow raised.

“My parents would hate you.” Tim chuckles. Just picturing their disapproving faces, his mother’s lips curled down in disgust and his father’s brow twitching in obvious aggravation makes him smile.

Brian stares, blinks a few times and then shakes his head. “What?”

“My parents would hate your guts. I can just imagine them blowing a fuse over a dirty peasant touching their stuff. Kinda makes my day.”

“I’m not dirty…” The blonde sounds insulted, almost to the point of being angry.

“I know that.” Tim reassures him, “But they’re pricks and think anyone who makes less money than them is dirty.”

“And you think that’s funny, why?”

“I guess I’m in a weird mood or something. Somehow pissing them off sounds hilarious right now.” Tim shrugs.

Brian looks thoughtful. Then he opens the fridge and gets out an egg. He walks into the dining room and drops it onto the carpet, egg white and yolk splattering across the white carpet. Then he steps onto the mess he made, grinding it even further into the soft ground. “Whoops.” he says, voice and face deadpan.

Tim can’t help it. He breaks down laughing, holding onto the counter to keep from falling to the floor. Glancing up at his boyfriend reveals that the blonde is walking over to him, chuckling as well. Rough hands catch Tim’s hips.

“You’re cute when you laugh. You should do it more often.” Brian says and then their lips meet. Their giggling gets in the way a little, but they don’t let that discourage them. Tim’s heart beats fast, soft sunflower petals fluttering around his tummy. Brian’s hands wander from his hips upwards, under his jacket, brushing the bare flesh of his sides. 

“We should totally fuck on the counter.” he whispers into Tim’s neck, before nipping and biting at the sensitive skin.

“Totally.” Tim agrees, but regretfully pushes him away, “But first I want food. I’m starving.” And as if to verify his claim, his stomach chooses that moment to rumble loudly in displeasure.

“I’d offer for you to eat me, but I agree. Let’s cook some food first.” Brian smirks and starts unpacking their shopping.

Tim just stands there, shifting awkwardly.

“You wanna help?” Brian asks, his tone of voice friendly and easygoing.

“Uhm… er yeah. I just… I’ve never cooked before. Am not sure what to do.” He bites his bottom lip and fiddles his fingers to hide their twitching, trying to avoid his boyfriend’s gaze.

Suddenly there’s a bundle of carrots in his vision. “Peel these.” the blonde says.

Tim takes them. “I… uhm… how?” Now he feels really stupid and incapable.

Brian’s stare isn’t judging, just kind of disbelieving. Like it takes him a moment to wrap his head around the fact that a twenty-one year old man doesn’t know how to peel carrots.

“Okay then. I’ll show you.” he sighs, “But as payment you’ll have to sing for me.”

Tim blinks. “Sing for you? Wha-? Why?”

“I really like your songs. You know. The ones on the flash drive you gave me for our anniversary?”

“I- Yeah. I remember. But those were all instrumentals. I don’t sing.” To be honest Tim hasn’t even thought about singing himself before, more interested in playing various instruments.

“You should. I’m sure you’ll be great.”

Brian’s smile does him in. “Okay.” he agrees, “I’ll try.”

***

After they cook and eat some Spaghetti and defile the kitchen counter, Tim gets himself some work clothes from his old room and they go into the back yard. The several flower beds Tim already built out here house petunias, tulips, daffodils, magnolias, camellias and, his favourite, sunflowers, all of the white variety of course. During the summer it looks and smells divine. Right now though, in the middle of November, their petals have already fallen.

Tim walks over to the spot where he’s going to build the new flower bed. He already marked it a while ago, but didn’t have the time to dig up the earth. The markers are still in place, he’s pleased to note. Touching his fingertips to the floor reveals it’s cold and hard, most definitely frozen.

With a sigh he gets an irrigation shovel and gardening gloves from the shed and is about to start digging, when he feels Brian’s hand on his arm, stopping him. For a moment Tim contemplates shaking him off.

“I know you can do this, but please, let me. I really don’t want your hands to get any worse than they already are.” the blonde pleads.

“My hands are a bit hurt, not broken.” Tim huffs, a little irritated, “And I managed to peel and cut those carrots.”

“Peeling carrots and digging up frozen ground are two completely different things.” Brian chuckles.

“Alright…” Tim sighs, giving in. He hands his boyfriend the shovel and gloves and sits down in the Hollywood swing on the patio. And then he waits.

***

It takes Brian over two hours to dig up the medium sized patch of grass. By the time he he’s done, he’s lost both his jacket and sweater and is breathing heavily. Tim on the other hand is shivering, even after having snatched his boyfriend’s discarded clothes and putting them on.

Brian tells him to shower first while he fixes them some dinner. Tim happily agrees, wanting to get warm as soon as possible. After the shower he changes the bandages on his hands and he and his boyfriend have dinner. Then it’s Brian’s turn to clean himself. Tim decides to wait for him in his room.

It’s considerably more colourful than the rest of the house, but it’s still pretty white. The floor, walls, furniture and bedding are all that same colour and Tim’s parents would only let him get away with so much. He has a picture of a sunflower field over his desk, there are some pots of actual sunflowers on the window sill and, when he was feeling very rebellious as a kid, he stuck some small animal stickers onto the book shelf. He also has one big brown teddy bear he got from his uncle sitting at the foot of his bed. On a whim he grabs the toy and stuffs it into his closet. Then he changes into his nightclothes.

***

“I like your room. It’s considerably nicer to look at than the rest of the house.” is the first thing Brian says when he enters, clothed only in boxers, hair still dripping and towel around his shoulders.

“Thanks. It’s not as clean though…” he mutters. Brian is all about cleanliness, he knows.

“I prefer you and this” he gestures at the room, “is a lot more you than that.” he points out the door.

Tim feels his cheeks getting hot. He doesn’t know what to say. Before he can gather his wits, the blonde continues. “The bed’s a little small, though.”

“It’s about the same size as yours at the dorm.” Tim raises a brow. The fit was a little tight when he slept at Brian’s, but they didn’t have any problems.

“I know. But… I kinda have the feeling that your parents have a queen sized bed.”

“You want to sleep in my parents’ bed?” Tim asks, bewildered.

“Yeah.” is the answer.

“Alright…” With a shrug he leads the blonde to his parent’s room. It’s white and bland and the only thing of note is the massive fluffy canopy bed. Brian lets out a delighted chuckle when he sees it and immediately jumps onto the soft mattress, burying his face in the silk cushions.

“This smells so nice! I’ll have to ask your parents what laundry detergent they use.” the blonde gushes, his words muffled by the fabric.

“You’ll have to ask the maid. My parents never do the washing.” Tim mutters and joins his boyfriend on the bed.

Brian turns to lie on his back. “I’ve had a thought…” he looks straight at Tim, “How long have your parents had this bed?”

“Uhm…” Tim’s confused, but answers the blonde’s question anyway, “For as long as I can remember. From what I know they got it way before I was born. Why?”

“That means this is probably where you were conceived. Thank you bed!” Brian giggles and buries his face in the cushion again, “Ah the memories you contain. I wish you could share them.”

“I’ll ignore you ever said that.” Tim deadpans, “Good night.” He turns to lie on his side and closes his eyes.

An arm sneaks around his waist and a quiet “I love you.” is whispered into his neck. Tim smiles, returns the sentiment and lays his hand over Brian’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brian is weird... smh. But I have to admit that I like writing weird mischivious Brian, so you can expect him to return XD


	32. 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the next chapter arrives! Sorry about the wait, but I really had to take a break. I unfortunately tend to only write late at night and really had to catch up on at least some sleep ^^; Hope this chapter is worth the wait?
> 
> Side Note 11: Seth wants to become a private investigator (he studies law) and welcomes Brian's asking him to gather information. He suspects that Brian is a murderer, but decided long ago that he doesn't really care.

When Tim and Brian get back to Brian’s dorm they are enthusiastically greeted by Jay. “Welcome back!” the man chirps and hugs first Brian and then Tim. The blonde growls under his breath and Tim glances in his direction. Their eyes meet and he raises a questioning eyebrow. His boyfriend shrugs nonchalantly.

“What happened to your hands? Are you okay?” Jay’s concerned voice diverts his attention.

“Yeah. Just forgot to wear my gloves while gardening.” Tim smiles sheepishly.

“Gardening? But I thought you were visiting your parents?”

“They weren’t home.” Tim shrugs, “And even if they were, why would that keep me from gardening?”

“Uhm...” Jay stammers, “I dunno. Just thought you’d probably spend your time with them instead of working?”

Tim chuckles. As if. He much prefers work over the uncomfortable silences he and his parents regularly share. As a family they actually go out of their way to avoid each other’s company. The only one Tim regularly interacts with is his uncle, though knowing what he does now he’d rather not.

He doesn’t say those things though, instead opting to shrug noncommittally.

“What I’ve been meaning to ask, Jay.” Brian interjects, “What are you doing in my dorm anyway?”

“Ah! Yeah! I almost forgot. This girl, I don’t remember her name, asked me to bring you this!” He holds out a letter. Its crème coloured, sealed shut with a cat sticker and ‘Marty’ is written on the flap in pink cursive.

Tim takes it and contemplates stuffing it into his pocket, but decides to keep it in his hand to not crumple it.

“Why would someone give you, of all people, a letter addressed to that guy and ask you to deliver it to me? And how did you get in here?” Brian asks, sounding just as confused as Tim feels.

“No idea.” Jay shrugs, “She was pretty though. And Seth let me in.”

“Okay. You did your thing. Now you can leave.” Brian grumbles.

“I was hoping to talk to Tim about our movie marathon as well. Alex said he wanted to join, so we’ll have to do it on the weekend. How’s this Saturday sound?” Jay somehow manages to sound and look like an overeager puppy.

“Uhm. Yeah. Sure.” Tim mumbles.

“Sweet! I’ll tell the others!” And with that Jay happily skips out the door.

Brian sighs when it closes behind their friend. “Sometimes that guy has too much energy.”

Tim just stares at him. “You’re one to talk…”

The blonde grins. “You love it when I’m crazy though!” He hugs Tim.

“You’re always crazy…” Tim lays his chin on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Hm?” Brian gently lets his hands glide up and down Tim’s back, leaving goose bumps in their wake.

“Nothing.” Tim sighs, closes his eyes and wraps his arms around the blonde, mindful of the letter.

***

Tim’s sitting on the sofa in Brian’s dorm, reading through notes his fellow students made on the lectures he missed the last two days. He’s leaning his back against the blonde’s shoulder, who’s fiddling around with his phone. There’s a knock at the door. Tim lays the notes onto the coffee table and gets up to open it.

He can’t help but smile when he sees Alex in the hall. “Hey…” he mutters.

“Hey.” Alex replies and bends down to kiss him.

The sunflowers happily flutter in Tim’s stomach.

“So, why did you want me to come here?” Alex asks Brian, straightening up to his full height again.

“The second name. Arnold Walters. Let’s look at what Seth found out about him together.” Brian answers casually, pulling a folder from a secret compartment hidden in the tabletop of the coffee table.

Surprise flashes across Alex’s face, but he catches himself quickly. He nods and walks over to sit to the blonde’s right. Tim closes the door and takes a seat to Brian’s left. The blonde opens the folder to the first page. Tim leans into him and out of the corner of his eye he notices Alex’s hand slightly behind Brian. He sneaks his arm around his boyfriend and takes it. Their eyes connect and Alex turns his hand to return the grip. Then they start reading.

Arnold Walters is 47 years old, married to a much younger wife and has an infant son. He travels a lot for work and also seems to spend a weirdly high amount of money on hotels in the city he lives in.

“Let’s catfish him.” Brian says, grinning from ear to ear.

“Wha-? Okay?” Tim’s not sure how the blonde came to the conclusion that that’s their best course of action.

“Well he obviously cheats on his wife. I’m pretty sure he uses social media to get into contact with his mistresses. So that’s how we’re gonna get him.” Brian explains excitedly.

“Makes sense.” Tim agrees. He, too, is smiling. Happy that things are moving forward. Happy that his boyfriend doesn’t seem to be trying to push him to the sidelines.

“Should we really do this?” Alex suddenly asks with an unreadable expression.

“Do what?” Brian raises an eyebrow.

“Kill this guy. I mean… he has a little kid.” There is a pain Tim can’t understand in the brunette’s eyes.

“I was a little kid when that… man…” Tim shudders, “raped me. That child is better off without him.” He squeezes Alex’s hand. Even feeling as indignant as he does at his boyfriend’s remark, it’s hard to look at his pained expression.

The taller squeezes back. “Yeah…” he mutters, “Probably…”

“So!” Brian suddenly says, “Now that that’s settled, who wants to be the bait?” He grins and expectantly looks at Tim.

“Uhm… I would, but I’m really bad at flirting…” he murmurs, fingers nervously twitching at his boyfriend’s scrutiny.

“You did manage to enchant Alex and me.” The blonde raises his eyebrows.

Tim chuckles. “Yeah and I still wonder how I did that.”

“You are quite charming.” Brian smiles and Alex nods, “Though now thinking about it, it’s probably better I don’t teach you how to use your talents or someone might want to snatch you away and I can’t have that.”

Tim’s face gets hot. “I’d never leave you guys…” he mumbles.

“You did break up with me three days ago.” Brian’s eyebrow wanders up his forehead.

“I was angry and didn’t really mean it…” He kind of did, but not enough to consider that statement a lie.

Brian narrows his eyes and stares at him. Tim fidgets, the heavy gaze becoming uncomfortable. Finally the blonde sighs. “I still don’t like the thought of other people being interested in you… So how about this: I reel him in and you decide the rest.”

Tim breaks into a smile, sunflowers fluttering in his heart. “Thank you.” he whispers and pecks his boyfriend on the lips, “Speaking of other people: There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you guys.”

“Okay…?” Brian sounds wary and very much unhappy at the implications.

“Actually it’s Marty who wants me to ask. He kinda wants to get a girlfriend?” Tim’s palms get sweaty and he’s sure his hand in Alex’s must feel gross by now, but his boyfriend doesn’t let go, instead starting to encouragingly stroke his knuckles.

“That Amy girl…” Brian mutters, face emotionless.

“Don’t kill her!” Tim blurts out.

Slowly a small smile forms on the blonde’s lips. “Don’t worry.” he says, cupping Tim’s cheek, “I wasn’t planning to. Tell your alter that I’ll think about it.” And then Brian kisses him forcefully, possessively, and Tim just melts against him, free hand moving up to play with the hair at Brian’s nape.

Once they pull apart, Tim’s eyes meet Alex’s. The taller shrugs. “I’ll go with whatever Brian decides.”

“Okay…” Tim looks at him sceptically. Alex should really start making his own decisions, but he lets it go for now.

Suddenly Brian gets up and moves towards his room. “You guys have fun. I have a tinder profile to create.” he calls and then the door closes behind him, leaving Alex and Tim alone in the living room.

Alex smiles and puts the folder on Arnold Walters back into its hiding place. He pulls a little slider to close the slit and with a click it locks, now invisible to anyone not specifically looking for it. “Jay told me we’ll watch some really bad movies this Saturday.” He fiddles with Tim’s fingers.

“Yeah. I’m not sure if I look forward to it, but I guess it’s gonna be better than last time since you’ll be there to distract me from those horrendous movies.” Tim chuckles.

“I’ll do my best.” Alex grins. Their lips meet in a chaste kiss.

Regretfully Tim soon pulls away. “I… I still have some stuff I need to do for Uni. Catching up for missing two days, you know.” he sighs apologetically. He’d much rather fool around with Alex, but he doesn’t want to risk his grades nose diving again.

“Okay.” Alex squeezes his hand one last time and then lets go, “If you need any help, I’ll be here.” Then the taller lounges back on the sofa, gets a pair of ear buds from his hoodie’s pocket and pops them in. He connects the other end with his phone, fiddles around with it for a bit and then closes his eyes.

With a sigh Tim retrieves his classmate’s notes from where he left them on the coffee table and continues reading them.


	33. 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am shook! I managed to pass the 40k words mark. Holy moly.  
> Side Note 12: I used the official heights for the characters for whom they are known. So Tim's 5'6" (170 cm), Alex is 6'1½" (187 cm) and Jay's 5'8" (178 cm). Everyone else was guesswork. From what I can tell Brian is about the same height as Tim, maybe an inch (2.5 cm) taller, and Jessica's a little shorter than Tim. Sarah's the shortest and Seth is shorter than Alex, but taller than Jay. For Amy there's no way to tell, since she was only ever seen with Alex, who was lying down at the time.

It’s late when Tim gets back to his dorm. Noah is already in bed, though not asleep. His only reaction when Tim opens the door is a groan that sounds vaguely like a greeting. “Hey…” Tim replies and gets ready to sleep as well.

Lying down, he almost lets out a disappointed sigh. Both the bed in the bunker and his parent’s bed are a lot nicer than this hard mattress. At least it’s not lumpy.

Tim closes his eyes and when he opens them again he’s in the mind place. Surprisingly he’s greeted by both Marty and the creature.

Marty immediately gets up off the sofa he’s been lounging on and jogs over to Tim. ‘Hey my dude!’ he greets, grinning like a lunatic, ‘Can I take over now? Can I read the letter?’

Tim is strangely touched by the fact that the masked alter is asking for permission instead of simply taking over. 

‘Uhm… I guess? Just make sure you don’t wake Noah up…’

‘Sweet!’ Marty actually fist pumps before disappearing.

Now alone with the creature, Tim focuses his attention on the looming shadowy figure standing still a few feet away. He can feel the chill emanating from it even at this distance. Suddenly life gets into those thin, stick like legs and the creature walks closer.

 _‘You have already started on our mission.’_ Hearing its voice in his head is strange as ever.

‘I… yeah. I’m sorry I took care of the first one without you?’ Now thinking about it the creature probably wanted an active part in their revenge.

 _‘Do not worry Timothy. The only one that is mine is Richard Dunn.’_ The creature reaches out its bony white hand to stroke Tim’s hair. He shivers at the cold touch.

For a while he just awkwardly stands there, letting the creature pet him. He shivers, the air around him getting chillier by the minute. For a second he wonders why he can even feel things in this place, but decides it doesn’t matter.

‘U-uhm…’ he mutters, not sure what to say, but wanting to break the suffocating silence.

_‘You did not like being alone the last time. I will keep you company, Timothy.’_

‘I don’t like that…’ Tim sighs. The creature questioningly tilts its faceless head. ‘That name. Please just call me Tim.’

 _‘As you wish, Tim.’_

Despite the chilliness of the voice, warmth spreads throughout Tim’s body. The creature may be freaky and weird, but there is something about it he likes. A kind of familiarity. Safety. That’s it. It makes him feel safe. Even more so than Brian and Alex. Hesitantly he reaches out a hand, standing on his tip toes until his fingertips touch the side of its head. The skin is freezing cold and smooth, almost like ice, but there’s a weird softness to it. A small smile spreads across Tim’s lips.

He blinks and finds himself in his bed, Noah softly snoring on the other side of the room. He has to hold back an excited giggle when he turns onto his side and closes his eyes.

***

The envelope lies on Tim’s desk. The cat sticker has been carefully peeled off the flap, so the stiff paper doesn’t lie flat anymore and Tim can see just a tiny bit of the letter inside. He’s tempted to read it.

With a sigh he leans back in his swivel chair. His eyes land on his favourite potted red sunflower on the window ledge just above the desk. It’s vibrant as ever, Noah obviously having taken care of it while he was gone. Tim smiles. He really is lucky with his roommate. Just thinking of some of the horror stories he heard from Jessica about her roommates… he shivers.

The envelope draws his attention again. Speaking of roommates. If Marty continues to make friends, he’ll probably receive more things that will be undeniably his. Things can’t stay as they are. Tim needs to do something.

Mind made up, Tim grabs his jacket, the one that was originally Brian’s, and leaves his dorm. He fiddles his phone out of his jeans pocket and unlocks it, selecting the contacts list. His thumb hovers over the display and he bites his bottom lip. Then he decisively taps the name.

_”Hello? Tim?”_

“Ah. Hey Sarah. I need your help.”

***

They meet in front of Bryant-Denny Stadium. Sarah is already there when Tim arrives, casually leaning against her car and doing something on her phone. When he stops in front of her, she looks up, smiles and greets him with a little wave. He returns the gesture.

Sarah then puts her phone away and gets into the car. Tim jogs around the vehicle to get in the passenger side. They drive off, still not having exchanged a single word.

“Sooo…” Sarah breaks the silence after a while, “Why’d you ask me of all people to go shopping with you? Not that I mind, but I’m surprised you didn’t ask Brian or Alex or any of the others.”

“Hmmm…” Tim ponders the question for a bit. “I’m not really sure.” he eventually admits, “You were simply the first person that came to mind.”

“Alright.” Silence descends on them again.

Tim starts tapping the car door. Tap tap taptap. Tap tap taptap. If his parents were here they’d glare daggers at him and tell him to be quiet. Sarah doesn’t complain about the noise, instead tapping along with him.

***

University Mall looks kind of ugly. At least on the outside it does. Like a reddish orange accordion with a white wellness centre entrance attached to it.

The inside is better, but there are too many of those big potted plants strewn about. It feels like every few feet he has to avoid greenery. The fountain is nice, though Tim’s not really sure why whoever built it chose to make a pineapple the centre piece.

The first shop they enter is American Eagle Outfitters. Tim immediately feels uncomfortable. Usually he just sends his parent’s maid to get him his jeans and flannels. Going clothes shopping in person is an entirely new experience.

“Marty? Other?” he whispers, “Tell me if there’s anything you like.”

A surprised ‘Okay.’ is the answer.

Choosing and trying out clothes is arduous and Tim doesn’t like it. He likes the fact that the shopping centre is packed even less. Almost everywhere he looks, he sees eyes looking back at him, with almost every step he takes, there’s someone to bump into. His shoulders feel hot and itchy and his hands are sweaty and twitchy. Even in the changing room he feels watched.

In the end Marty decides on a bunch of colourful tees, a red vest and a few jeans as well as a jeans jacket. The creature whispered something about preferring suits, so they have a short stop at T-Towns to get it two of the cheaper ones.

Their next destination is Spencer’s. There Tim finds some sticker tags. When he’s on his way out, Marty suddenly stops him.

‘There! That mask to your right.’ He turns his head and sees a plain white plastic mask. “Okay…” he says and takes it as well.

By that time he’s seriously thinking about letting Marty take over. The only reason he’s not freaking out is Sarah by his side, talking to him to distract him. He’s glad she’s there. And he’s glad she doesn’t seem to mind that he’s not really paying attention to what she’s saying.

“Okay. Let’s leave.” Sarah says after he’s paid for the mask and stickers.

“But what about you? You said you needed some new clothes as well.” Tim asks, “And we should eat something as well.”

“Are you sure? You look a little sick.” Sarah sounds concerned.

“Yes I’m sure. I can take it.” he insists. He’s not sure if he actually can, but after she drove him here, he doesn’t want to let her down.

“Alright…” she sighs, “But you need to tell me if it becomes too much for you.”

He promises her to immediately tell her should he not be able to take it anymore. Looking relieved, she nods. Then they go to have some food.

Several times Tim considers asking Sarah to leave. He’s nearing a panic attack, he knows. But he pulls through. Thankfully Sarah seems aware enough of his distress that she’s going about her shopping as fast as possible.

When they’re finally back in the car, Tim’s shaking, his breathing coming in short fast puffs. Sarah strokes his back and quietly talks to him until he manages to calm down. Instead of sitting in companionable silence like on their ride to the shopping centre, on the way back, Sarah switches on the radio and tells Tim about her new camera and this cool new technique she found to take beautiful pictures of the sunset.

Before they part ways in front of Bryant-Denny Stadium, Sarah hugs him and tells him to contact her more often. With a smile he agrees.

***

Back at his dorm Tim pulls the storage boxes out from underneath his bed. He empties two of them, moving the few things that were inside into either the third or his closet. Then he puts a sticker tag on each of the boxes, marking his own with a T, Marty’s with an M and the creature’s with a crossed out O. He puts the letter into Marty’s box.

Gathering the new clothes as well as his own dirty laundry he heads out again to wash them. He knows it’s going to be a hassle, since there will most likely be a few other people in the laundry room, but this is important, so he’ll just have to deal with it.

‘Thanks. For everything.’ Marty suddenly speaks up, ‘But you don’t have to do this. I can do the washing. I’ve watched you enough times that I know how.’

“Okay.” With a sigh of relieve, he lets the alter take over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know. You were probably expecting some Brian abducting someone action, but unlike setting up a transaction, hooking someone over tinder takes a little longer. Sorry.


	34. i guess you're not that bad...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A surprise chapter from Marty's pov! Mwahahahaha! Enjoy.
> 
> Side Note 13: Amy sings in a choir.

As it turns out, watching someone do the laundry and actually doing it are two completely different things. Marty knows he’s supposed to turn all the washing inside out and separate them, but he has no idea which clothes go together and which don’t. And the laundry detergent and washing programmes are a whole other can of worms he does not want to touch. He still remembers the disaster that was Tim’s first time washing his clothes and it was not pretty. The aftermath involved a whole lot of shopping.

With a sigh Marty sets down the pair of jeans he’s holding and gets the phone from his pocket. He inputs the code to unlock it, having remembered at least that from the countless times watching Tim do so, and calls the only contact that is his.

_“Marty! Or is this Tim? Nothing against you, Tim, but I really hope it’s Marty.”_

Hearing Amy’s cheerful tone puts a smile on his face. “Don’t worry, it’s me.” He reassures her.

_“Thank god. If you were Tim, this would have been kinda awkward. Anyway! Did you get my letter? Was it okay? It was too rambly, wasn’t it?”_

Marty chuckles. “Yeah I did get it and no it wasn’t too rambly. I kind of like your rambling…”

_“Aww how sweet. I’m glad I don’t annoy you. Wait. Do I annoy you? Oh my god, I annoy you, don’t I?”_

“Haha. No you don’t. I enjoy talking to you. And I enjoyed your letter. I’m going to write a reply as soon as I can.” Marty’s heart pounds. Amy wants a reply, right?

 _“I’m looking forward to it.”_ Hearing that he feels like a heavy weight has been lifted off his shoulders. Like he can soar.

“I’m glad you are. But that’s not why I called. I… uhm… wanted to ask you something.” Marty fidgets, furrowing his brow.

_“Shoot! Okay, don’t actually shoot. But as in shoot, tell me. Don’t shoot anyone. That wouldn’t be nice. Okay, shutting up now so you can actually tell me.”_

A small smile flits across Marty’s lips. “I, ehm, wanted to ask if you could help me do the washing. Usually Tim does it, but he kinda really needs a break right now and I don’t want to drag him out.” He fidgets some more, his left hand coming up to cover his face.

_“Oh! Oh. I’m sorry. I can’t. At least not right now. I have a lecture in, like, one minute. I’m so sorry. I really wish I could help, but I can’t. Sorry.”_

“You just said sorry three times.” he chuckles.

_“I did? I’m sorry. Agh. Here I go again. I’m not going to say sorry this time. Sorry. And I did it again. Shutting up now.”_

Marty can’t keep the wide smile off his face. “It’s okay. I really don’t mind. And as for the laundry, I’ll just ask someone else.”

_“I’m glad. Sorry again I can’t help you. I hope you’ll find someone who can. But, uhm, I have to go now. The professor just walked past and if looks could kill… So yeah. Talk to you soon! Hopefully.”_

“Yeah. You too. Bye.” After Amy’s own goodbye, Marty ends the call. A big grin on his face he clutches the phone to his chest. Amy’s just the best friend he could wish for. He could listen to her rambling for hours. Her laughter. That little twinkle in her eye.

With a longing sigh, he turns his attention back to the phone. Who to call now? His eyes focus on the names directly above and below Amy’s. Alex and Brian. Should he? His thumb hovers over Alex’s name. Jay would probably be more amicable, but Alex and Brian already know about him and he did promise Tim to not go around telling people without permission.

Mind made up he calls Alex. After just one ring the call is pressed away. That’s weird. There’s no way Alex knows that it’s not Tim calling him. Or does he? Maybe he does. Maybe he’s some kind of psychic who always knows who’s calling him.

Before he can spin that thought further the phone vibrates and a message appears on the screen. _> Sorry can’t talk right now. Maybe in 1.5 h.<_ So Alex is just busy and not actually a psychic. Marty exhales a huge sigh of relieve. If he was that would have been really freaky. And he doesn’t want to deal with freaky.

So there’s only one option left. Reluctantly Marty selects Brian’s number. Unfortunately Brian immediately answers.

_“Hey there Tim. Heard you went shopping today. Get anything we can use to spice t-”_

“I’m not Tim.” Marty interrupts, not wanting hear whatever the crazy blonde was going to say.

Brian’s amicable tone immediately turns cold and hostile. _“Oh. It’s you. What do you want?”_

Marty sighs. “I don’t like you. And I know you don’t like me. But we should at least try to be civil. For Tim.”

_“I am being civil. I could’ve just ended the call, you know. And I wasn’t the one who started acting like a dick out of the blue.”_

“You started dating Tim. That’s reason enough for me to hate you. You hurt him, I’ll end you. And then Raph’s gonna end you. And in the end you’ll be nothing more than a pathetic snivelling pile of shit.”

Brian has the audacity to chuckle. _“Don’t you worry. I’m taking goooood care of Tim. Very, very good care.”_

Marty’s fuming. He can just see the smug arsehole lick his lips suggestively. He already knows more than he wants about Tim’s relationship with his boyfriends. He doesn’t need nor want the mental images the blonde is causing him to unwittingly conjure. There is a reason why he always tunes out whenever things get too frisky.

“Fuck you…” he mutters, refraining from using any of the other choice words he’s tempted to call Brian.

Another chuckle. _“I don’t think Tim would like that, but thanks for the offer. Now was that all r is there actually a reason why you called me?”_

Grinding his teeth, Marty presses out: “Yes there actually is. I need your help to-”

_“You. Need my help. I must be having a stroke.”_

“Don’t get my hopes up, dickwad. Now as I was saying, before you interrupted me like the douche you are, I need your help. To do the laundry.”

There’s a long silence. Then: _“You guys have zero life skills…”_

“It’s not like we had any opportunity to learn any of these things!” Marty explodes, not willing to take any more shit from this guy, “Our shit parents would always say that someone of ‘our standing’ isn’t supposed to do ‘menial labour’! It’s not our fault they’re asswipes who don’t want to be seen as ‘plebs’ at any cost!” By the end he’s breathing hard.

A sigh can be heard through the phone. _“Alright. I’ll be there in about ten minutes. Harris Hall laundry room right?”_

“Yeah…” Marty mumbles, deflated and completely out of energy. Then he ends the call.

***

True to his word, ten minutes later Brian enters the room. What a picture Marty must make, sitting on the floor, surrounded by piles of clothes, looking completely out of his depth. The blonde doesn’t comment on it. Instead he gets on his knees beside Marty and starts separating the clothes into piles.

“You got to wash white, black and coloured stuff separately or the colours might bleed. You should probably also wash everything with zippers separately so, should they open during the washing, they don’t snag on and tear anything. Also, make sure all pockets are empty.” Brian explains.

Marty nods and starts helping the blonde with the laundry, keeping his words in mind. Once they finish, Brian loads the biggest pile, the coloured shirts, into the washing machine. He closes the machine and shows Marty where to put the detergent, which programmes to use when and how to switch it on.

“Thanks…” Marty mutters, “And I’m sorry…”

Brian looks at him, intrigued. “What for?”

“I probably shouldn’t have just gone off on you without even really knowing you. Things look kinda different when I’m in charge than when I’m just watching.” the man sighs, “And it didn’t help that I usually tuned out when you and Tim got all mushy together. I just… I didn’t want to see him get hurt by another arsehole taking advantage of him. So please. Get your act together. He may not show it, but it really hurts Tim when you push him away.”

The blonde stares, expression unreadable. The silence is uncomfortable and Marty starts fidgeting, left hand covering his face, eyes peeking out between the fingers.

Brian breaks the silence after a while. “I’m not pushing Tim away…”

Marty lowers his hand. “It certainly feels like it when you start making decisions for him and tell him not to participate in whatever you’re doing. And I know he feels the same way.”

Once again the blonde doesn’t react for a few minutes, just blankly staring at him. He has the overwhelming urge to cover his face again, but somehow manages to suppress it this time. Then Brian nods.

“Okay.” he says, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Marty smiles. “And I’ll try not to antagonize you too much.”

The blonde chuckles. Marty glances at the washing machine. The timer says it’ll be another hour until it’s done. He sighs for what feels the hundredth time that day.

“We can wait somewhere else if you want to.” Brian must have noticed his disdain at the thought of standing in awkward silence with him for another hour.

“Yeah. I’d like that.” It’s strange. Feeling thankful towards Brian. Marty is still wary about him, but maybe the blonde’s not so bad. Maybe they could even be friends.

They decide to have some dinner at the closest restaurant and surprisingly Marty finds himself enjoying Brian’s company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question for all of you: Amy and Marty. Should they get together? Yay or nay? I know how some people are when it comes to OCs (and Marty is technically an OC) so I thought I'd better ask first.


	35. 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I won't be able to get back to the pace I had before. It was kind of exhausting to be in Tim's head almost 24/7, so I'm not really surprised I couldn't keep it up. Am still sorry though ^^; So here's the next chapter! Enjoy!
> 
> Side Note 14: Alex does not enjoy football and the only reason he hasn't quit yet is because Brian likes playing together with him.

When Tim opens his eyes, he’s at Brian’s dorm, lounging on the sofa next to Alex. A quick glance around reveals Brian sitting at the table, open laptop in front of him.

“How’s it going with Walters?” Tim takes the opportunity to ask.

“Welcome back Tim.” Brian says, not looking up from the screen, “And it’s going really well. As soon as the bunker’s empty, he’s ripe for the taking.”

“As soon as the bunker’s empty?” Alex voices what Tim is thinking, “What are you talking about?” He sits up from his lying position and rests his arms on his propped up legs.

“Well~” Brian unnecessarily stretches the word, glancing at them for a second, “It means that somebody’s already in there, so there’s no space for Walters.”

Alex’s brow creases and his fingers tense up. “What do you mean somebody’s already in there?”

A small smile flits across Brian’s face. “Troy. That annoying guy you told us was harassing you.”

Alex sneers, hands forming fists. He looks like he’s about to scream and just barely holding back. Tim, who sits at his feet, hesitantly reaches out to carefully touch his arm, right above his wrist. Their eyes meet.

“Do you have a problem with that?” Brian sounds irate. Tim’s eyes snap up to look at the blonde, who is now intently staring at Alex.

“Yes.” Alex growls, “Yes I do.”

Had Tim not been looking at Brian, he wouldn’t have noticed his eyes widening in shock for the fraction of a second before his face becomes carefully blank. “Okay. Tell me then. What’s wrong with being rid of that pest?”

Out of the corner of his eye Tim sees Alex uncertainly scratch the back of his neck. For a moment he wonders if the taller, used to never speaking up against Brian, will manage to say anything more.

“It’s too dangerous. You said you’d help Tim get his revenge and then you do this. Abduct a guy who has been accusing me of being a serial killer. A guy who has been talking to the police about his suspicions. Even if you were careful and left no evidence, people are going to come to conclusions. You should have just ignored the guy.” Alex’s rant surprises them all, even Alex himself going by the look on his face. His hands are shaking with tension.

Brian sighs. “I know.” he admits, “It was, is, very risky. But Troy’s been sticking his nose into stuff that’s none of his business. He’s been snooping around your dorm for god’s sake. With how persistent he was, sooner or later he’d have found something.”

“Still. You should have found a different way. Or at least tried to.” Alex insists. His expression is still one of anger, but his arms have relaxed, his hand turning to grab Tim’s.

For a long time Brian just silently stares at Alex. So long, in fact, that Tim is starting to feel increasingly uncomfortable, subconsciously bracing himself for an explosion, and if the look on Alex’s face is anything to go by, so is he. But instead of getting angry like they expect, Brian just says “Okay. I’ll try to do better next time.” and goes back to working on his computer.

“Huh…” is all Tim can say at that. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Alex’s shell shocked expression. Their eyes connect and Alex leans over to whisper into his ear: “Did Brian just admit to being wrong?”

Tim shrugs his shoulders.

“But Brian never admits to being wrong.” Alex continues.

“He can also hear you.” Brian suddenly speaks up. He’s looking at them, having stopped working again. As it often is in situations like these, his face doesn’t give anything away.

Alex fiddles with Tim’s hand. His fingers are clammy. Tim squeezes slightly to reassure him. A grateful smile flits across his boyfriend’s face.

A sigh. Looking up reveals Brian looking exasperated. “I’m not angry, you know. Just… if something’s bothering you, say it to my face and don’t talk like I’m not here.”

“I’m… It doesn’t bother me. I’m just surprised, is all…” Alex mutters, averting his eyes.

“Alright.” now Brian’s smiling. It’s a small little smile, but somehow it really gets to Tim. It just looks so good on him. Their eyes meet and Brian’s smile brightens. “I do very much enjoy seeing you smile.” the blonde mutters, just loud enough for Tim to hear. He feels his face become hot and now Alex’s hands aren’t the only sweaty ones.

“Uh… yeah… Me too… I mean… I enjoy seeing you smile too.” Tim decides to shut up before he says something stupid.

Brian laughs. It’s a joyful, though short, laugh. “I’m glad,” he says and then, glancing down at the laptop, “but you guys should probably leave now or Jay’s gonna blow up my phone again, asking where you are.”

The movie marathon. So Tim only missed a few hours. Good to know. He and Alex get up, kiss Brian good bye and then are on their way to Jay’s.

***

Jay opens the door after they knock. His eyes linger on Tim and Alex’s joined hands for a moment, surprise clearly visible on his face, but he doesn’t say anything about it. For some reason Tim assumed that Jay knew about them, but it seems he was wrong.

In the common room Vinny and Evan are sitting on the sofa and munching on snacks. They are engrossed in a conversation about rabbits or something, but Tim doesn’t care to listen in more closely.

“So, uhm, you two? I thought Tim was together with Brian.” Jay suddenly asks, his curiosity apparently having won over whatever was holding him back a few moments ago.

“I am.” Tim affirms, not really wanting to go into detail. This conversation feels awkward enough as it is and he’d rather end it right this moment.

At this answer Jay looks even more confused than before. There’s a snicker coming from the direction of the sofa. Out of the corner of his eye Tim sees Evan has a big grin on his face. “What a player.” Jay’s roommate snickers, “Does the poor sod know you’re two timing him?”

Tim can’t help the heat that reddens his cheeks. Nor the indignant anger that clogs up his throat and makes it impossible for him to retort. He’s floundering, his fingers twitching.

“And with his ex too...” Jay’s disappointed gaze hits Tim like a truck. Taking a shuddering breath, he tries to defend himself, but no words will come.

Alex squeezes his hand. “One: I’m not Brian’s ex. And two: there’s not cheating going on.” he growls, “We’re poly. Don’t just assume stuff. It makes you look like an asshole.” At that last part he pointedly looks at Evan.

Jay turns red. “I- I’m sorry…” he mutters.

Vinny, who’d been quiet throughout the entire exchange, cuffs Evan upside the head. “You should really start to think before you talk…” he scolds. Evan embarrassedly mutters an apology.

“Now that that’s settled, how about we finally watch those god awful movies we all came here for.” a female voice suddenly says. Tim whips his head in the direction it’s coming from to see Jessica standing in the door to Jay’s room, a few packets of crisps in her arms. She smiles at him and he has a feeling she’d give him a thumbs up if her hands weren’t full.

Everyone agrees and they settle down in front of the TV. Tim leans his head onto Alex’s shoulder, tightly holding onto his hand. When the movie starts he closes his eyes. Alex is warm and comfortable and Tim’s exhausted. And it’s not like he wants to watch the movie anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case I don't manage to finish the next chapter by Monday: I'll be going on a short holiday from Monday through Friday and I won't bring my laptop with me, so I'm not going to be able to write during that time. I will have my phone with me, so I should be able to respond to messages, though I do prefer using a computer for that ^^;


	36. 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha! I did it! I managed to finish this chapter before leaving! And it was a chapter requiring lots of research too ^^  
> Anyway! Enjoy!
> 
> Also: I've gotten some comments from people who weren't logged in and I'd really like to reply to those comments, but I don't want to write too long chapter notes... Does anyone have any ideas?
> 
> Side Note 15: Because of how good he is at planning Brian's been offered to be the quaterback of UA's football team several times, but he always declined, preferring the more hands on role of an Offensive Tackle.

Tim has never held a gun in his hands before. The weight of Alex’s gun is… strange to say the least. Kind of heavy and warm from where it was pressed against the skin of Alex’s lower back, hidden from the public by his sweater. Tim’s fingers tremble.

“I think I prefer knives…” he mutters. He’s seriously considering giving the weapon back to its owner. The only reason he even has it in the first place is because Brian decided he needs the experience. “Just in case.” the blonde had said.

Tim scoffs. Yeah right. If he ever were in a situation where he needs to incapacitate someone, he most certainly wouldn’t use a gun to do it. The chance of him accidentally hurting himself or someone he cares about is just too high. Especially with how twitchy his hands tend to get in stressful situations.

Reluctantly Tim raises his arms to point the gun at the row of tins Alex had set up as targets. He throws a quick glance in his boyfriends’ direction. Brian’s leaning against a tree, hands in his pockets, a small smile on his lips. Alex on the other hand opted to sit, legs crossed, next to the blonde. He’s not quite frowning, sharing Tim’s opinion that this is not a good idea, but going along anyways.

Tim focuses on his targets again. A slight breeze ruffles his clothes and hair and he shivers. His hands tremble. His finger on the trigger won’t move. He bites his lip in frustration. His eyes flit over to the small patch of overturned earth where Louis Campbell lies buried.

He takes a deep breath. Focuses. He can do this. Concentrating very hard he manages to keep his hands still. He puts all his attention on that task and the tin he wants to hit. Tim pulls the trigger.

It’s loud. A lot louder than Tim expected and he almost drops the gun, the recoil not really helping. His ears ring and his breath gets caught in his lungs, the acrid smell in the air choking him. The world is swaying. For a moment he fears he’ll fall, but then warm hands take a hold of his shoulders, steady him.

“I really don’t like this…” he mumbles, his face hot with embarrassment. In addition to not being able to handle firing a gun, Tim’s sure he missed the target by miles.

“That’s okay. Guns aren’t for everyone.” Alex says, now standing by his side, and gently takes the firearm from his hands. The taller then immediately secures the weapon and stores it in the holster at the small of his back.

Brian, apparently the one who caught him, winds his arms around Tim’s waist. “Guess we’ll just have to protect you if push comes to shove.” he whispers into Tim’s ear and then props his chin on Tim’s shoulder.

“I can take care of myself…” Tim grumbles and lays a hand on top of Brian’s on his stomach.

“Of course you can.” Tim can hear the smile in Brian’s voice.

“Are you patronizing me?” Tim asks, turning around to look at his boyfriend and raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t know, am I?” Brian grins.

Before Tim can answer Brian pecks him on the lips. “Don’t worry, I know you’re capable. But I like taking care of you.” he whispers against Tim’s lips. Then their lips meet again, this time in an actual kiss.

Sunflowers flutter in Tim’s stomach, wild and hot, and he just can’t get enough. His hands slip under Brian’s jacket and shirt, clawing at his back. Brian’s own arms are a vice around him, pressing him impossibly close. Tim feels like they might become one if they got any closer. He moans into the blonde’s mouth at that thought and Brian responds in kind.

“Really guys?” Alex’s annoyed voice suddenly interrupts them, “We’re in the middle of the woods and it’s the middle of November. You’re gonna get sick and I hate it when you’re sick, Brian. You’d get all grumpy and I don’t wanna deal with that.”

They reluctantly break apart, Brian grumbling all the while. “I don’t remember you complaining when we fucked in that abandoned building on Christmas Eve.”

Alex raises an eyebrow. “Well, yeah. I was young and stupid and really horny. And I regretted it shortly after we were done. And if I remember correctly, so did you.”

Brian narrows his eyes at Alex. He honestly looks kind of constipated. Then “Yeah you’re right.” his face softens, “That was a really bad idea. Let’s gather our stuff and get back to the bunker.”

Alex smirks. “Lucky for you, I thought ahead.” He holds up his backpack, in which they’d brought the target tins, and shakes it a little. A tinny rattling comes from within it.

“Alright then.” Brian grabs Tim’s hand with his left and Alex’s with his right, “What are we waiting for.”

***

The first thing Tim sees when he walks through the bunker’s inner door is Troy, only wearing his underwear, tied to the chair in the middle of the room. Just like the others before him he’s tied up and badly bruised. Their gazes connect and the stubborn anger in the other’s eyes is almost palpable. Tim shivers and his fingers twitch.

A big warm hand takes Tim’s and Troy’s eyes snap to his left. They narrow and if looks could kill, Alex would be six feet under right about now. Behind Tim Brian chuckles. “He’s a feisty one.” he says excitedly. The blonde’s warm weight drapes over Tim’s back, his breath hot on the back of Tim’s neck.

Alex shrugs, as if to say ‘I don’t care that that guy hates me.’ and fully enters the room, dragging Tim along with him. At the loss of his rest, Brian stumbles forward, quietly cursing under his breath. “Warn a guy…” he mutters.

Alex stops and turns to apologetically look at the blonde. “Sorry…”

“Pff.” Brian waves him off, “Just don’t do it again.”

Alex nods. “Yeah… Okay…” his grip on Tim’s hand tightens a little, before softening again, “Okay.”

Brian grins and skips over to the sofa, jumping onto the piece of furniture. He motions for Tim and Alex to come over, a mischievous smile on his face. Tim shivers. He’s pretty sure he knows what Brian wants to do. And in front of Troy too. That thought stops him in his tracks a little. He’s no exhibitionist and really doesn’t want people to watch his being intimate with his boyfriends. Especially not a guy he’s never seen before.

His expression must give away his thoughts, since Brian tilts his head and frowns. “You okay Tim?” he asks.

“Uhm…” Tim’s eyes flit over to Troy, who’s still glaring daggers in Alex’s direction, before locking with Brian’s again.

The blonde’s smile softens. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” he shrugs, “If that guy makes you uncomfortable” he gestures in Troy’s direction, “You can just watch.”

“Or we could go to the bedroom.” Alex sighs, “While I don’t mind being watched, the way that guy is looking at me does make me mildly uncomfortable.”

At that Brian pouts and mutters something under his breath. Then he gets up and walks over to Troy. The captive’s eyes leave Alex and warily look at the blonde, who roughly tears the gag out of his mouth. Brian opens his mouth to say something, but before he can, Troy starts cursing. “LET ME GO YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU! AND YOUR LITTLE FUCKTOYS TOO!”

Brian slaps him across the face. Hard. His head turns with the force of it and the hand leaves a red mark on his cheek. “Shut up, maggot.” the blonde growls, “Don’t you dare insult my precious darlings.”

The captive lets out a shrill laugh. “Don’t pretend you care about anyone but yourself, you monster. Everyone knows psychopaths don’t feel love.”

Brian’s eyes turn icy cold and he raises his hand to hit Troy again, when a sudden loud bang echoes throughout the room. For a moment all Tim can smell is the acrid odour of gunpowder, his ears ringing. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Alex, his gun pointed straight at Troy.

There’s a hole in Troy’s abdomen, blood seeping from the wound and colouring his skin red. The captive’s eyes are wide in shock, tears gathering in the corners. His lips are trembling in pain and disbelieve.

“Don’t. Ever! Insult Brian.” Alex’s voice is low and Tim shivers at the intensity of the anger he can hear in it.

Brian, who until this moment looked as shell shocked as Tim feels, slowly starts to grin and steps back from Troy. Alex raises the gun a little and fires again, this time hitting a shoulder, the sick crunch of bone and Troy’s pained scream echoing loudly in Tim’s ears.

“Disgusting piece of shit.” Alex hisses and fires a third bullet, directly into one of the captive’s eyes.

There’s a red crater left in the bullet’s wake, blood and gore dripping down Troy’s face. The captive’s head is slumped forward, the other eye sightlessly staring ahead. Tim can’t help but stare, fascinated by the tickling of blood and brain matter. His hands tremble, his heart beating fast and hard against his ribcage.

Brian’s excited laughter draws his attention away from the corpse. “You’re amazing!” the blonde giggles. With the small droplets of blood that speckle his face and wide grin on his face he looks positively manic.

With big steps he bounds over to Alex, whose arms are still extended, pointing the gun at his victim. The brunet’s hands tremble a little and his mouth is slightly open. Alex snaps out of his daze and his wide eyes focus on Brian when the blonde reaches up to cup his cheek with his right hand. “I wanna eat you up.” Brian whispers reverently.

“Yeah.” Alex breathes and smiles, secures the gun and puts it away. Then he wraps his arms around Brian. “Yeah.” he says again, this time more confidently. And then their lips meet in a passionate kiss.

Tim bites his lip. He feels hot and short of breath. On trembling legs he walks over to the sofa and gets comfortable to enjoy the show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never held a gun in my hands before. I have never fired a gun. And I have never witnessed a gun being fired in real life. (Unless you count those carnival rifles. I fired one of those.) So everything gun related in this chapter I extrapulated from second hand recounts and youtube videos. If you see any mistakes, feel free to point them out.


	37. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally this chapter was going to be something entirely different, but I ended up deleting that and wrote this instead. Gotta say I'm glad I went with this. Hope you like it ^^
> 
> Side Note 16: Alex knows about Tim's proficency with several instruments, but has yet to listen to him play any since Brian keeps the flash drive he got from Tim to himself.

There is blood everywhere. Under his fingernails, in his mouth and filling his lungs. It’s spilling over, dripping from his lips. His mouth opens and he tries to scream, but the only sound that escapes him is a pathetic wet gurgling.

Thick hot liquid accumulates in his eyes, runs down his cheeks and drip drip drips from his chin, little red dots appearing on his jeans. More and more blood falls onto his pants, soon dying the whole garment red. The little droplets on the ground have grown into a thick layer covering the entire floor, rising, rising, rising.

Frantically he looks around, locating a door to his right. He tries to run towards it, but his feet get stuck in the viscous bloody mush on the ground. With all of his power he manages to pry one foot free, only to trip and fall face first into the muck, immediately sinking under the surface. For a moment he can’t breathe, his hands vainly trying to find purchase. There’s no ground to push off of, just blood all around him.

He’s about to give up, letting himself drown in the sea of blood, when his right hand bumps against something. With renewed hope he grasps it, pulls. It’s unexpectedly easy to pull himself to the surface. He greedily breathes in big gulps of air, desperately clinging to whatever saved his life. Under his fearful clutch the thing easily gives with a squelch, the surface spongy.

Dread settles in the pit of his stomach. He doesn’t want to look. He really doesn’t. But he can’t help himself. He can’t keep from glancing down, his fearful gaze meeting an unseeing eye, the other an empty hole. The skull is covered by pale, slimy skin, the mouth gaping open in a silent scream. At the realization that he’s holding onto Troy’s corpse he almost lets go, almost falls back into the sea of blood.

A sob escapes his trembling lips, body shivering like a leaf. He feels sick to his stomach, wants to throw up so badly, but nothing will come. Instead he stares at the eye. And the eye stares back. Bony fingers softly grasp his wrist, wander up his arm and then painfully dig into his neck.

_”You killed me.”_

With a gasp Alex jolts into wakefulness, covered in a cold sweat. His breathing is fast and painful and he can’t move, body tied up in his blanket. He quietly sobs, careful not to alert his dorm mates. He frees himself from his sheets and presses his face into his hands to further stifle his sounds. 

Behind his closed eyes he keeps seeing Troy. He keeps thinking of the feel of the gun hilt in his hand, the trigger under his finger. Of the ringing of a gunshot. The smell of blood and gunpowder. Troy’s mutilated face. Brian’s ecstatic giggling. Tim’s near orgasmic expression. And of that deep dark pit of emptiness opening up inside of him. For one second he felt nothing. And then Brian swooped in like a hurricane and swept Alex up in his enthusiasm and made him forget.

In a fit of helpless rage he bites into the palm of his hand, hard, until he tastes iron and his nails dig into his skin. But the pain is nothing compared to the frustration he feels. The knowledge that today he killed a man. That he took a life. He, Alex Kralie, is now a killer.

He really doesn’t want to be alone right now. Blindly he reaches for his mobile on the nightstand. With trembling fingers he unlocks the screen and selects the contact menu. He almost calls Brian, like he always does in situations like this, but something stops him at the last second, thumb uncertainly hovering over his boyfriend’s name.

The on-screen clock shows it’s 3:40am and at this time of night Brian’s usually asleep. Mere months ago Alex wouldn’t have hesitated to wake up the blonde this early in the morning, but now, he remembers, he has another person whom he trusts. And as it so happens Tim seems to be awake at all hours of the day. Sometimes Alex wonders if the guy ever sleeps, save for the occasional nap here and there of course. Swallowing nervously Alex selects Tim’s name and sends him a text message, asking to meet up.

Fortunately his gut feeling seems to have been right that Tim is awake since mere seconds later he receives a reply. _> Sure. Where do you want to meet up?<_

 _> Come to my dorm?<_ Alex writes. He’s already feeling calmer, knowing he’s not going to be alone for much longer.

Tim agrees and tells him he’ll be there in a few minutes. With a relieved sigh Alex puts his mobile back on the nightstand and lays back. Now all he has to do is wait. He won’t have to remember for much longer.

***

Half an hour later Tim still hasn’t arrived and Alex is getting really worried. He tries calling the brunet again, but gets no response. Not being able to take it any longer, he jumps up off the bed and begins pacing to the door and back. There’s not much space in his room and the bed is merely two steps away from the door, so it’s more like running in circles.

A frustrated growl leaves his throat and he calls Tim again. No answer. He sends what feels like the millionth message. No reply. An annoyed shout bubbles up in his throat, but he keeps it down. Don’t wake up the dorm mates, he tells himself, don’t wake up the dorm mates.

Suddenly there’s a message notification. Alex almost drops his mobile in his haste to open it. It’s from an unknown number. _> Sorry I won’t be able to make it. I’m at the police station. Don’t worry about me, I’m okay.<_ Then a few seconds later another text: _> This is Tim btw<_

This time Alex doesn’t hold back. He screams. He just manages to not throw his mobile against the wall. The image of Troy’s corpse keeps popping up before his mind’s eye. The mangled face overlaid with Tim’s. His boyfriend’s expression one of fear, big dark eyes pleadingly staring at him.

With a shudder Alex sinks down to the floor, mobile dropping from his trembling hands. A growing sense of dread takes a hold of his heart, mercilessly squeezing until the pain brings tears to his eyes. Nails bite into the palms of his hands and a bright hot spark of anger rushes through him and another scream tears from his throat. Again and again he shouts and curses, letting out all of his rage, frustration and pain.

A calm, familiar hand suddenly touches his shoulder. A well known body crouches down in front of him, arms wrapping around his body. “It’s okay. Let it all out…” Brian’s voice whispers into his ear. Alex’s screams taper off, now only pained sobs leaving his aching throat. He clings to the shorter male, pressing his face into the blonde’s shoulder, not caring that his glasses painfully dig into the bridge of his nose.

“I’m sorry…” he whispers, “The police have Tim and it’s all my fault.”

Alex feels Brian stiffen in his grasp. “What do you mean the police have Tim and it’s your fault?”

Alex feels the familiar heat of anger boil in his stomach. “It means I’m the reason he’s with the police. If I hadn’t been a little bitch and just manned up, if I hadn’t asked him to come over, then he’d still be at his dorm.” He sneers, feeling the overwhelming urge to punch someone, preferably himself. Sometimes he’s such a baby and he just can’t stand it.

Instead of getting annoyed like Alex expected, Brian merely sighs. “It’s not your fault. If the police want to question Tim then they’re going to do it. Whether it’s now or in a few hours doesn’t make any difference.”

“Aren’t you worried?” he asks the blonde, confused at his seeming calm.

Brian extricates himself from the embrace and locks eyes with him. “Of course I am. But Tim’s stronger than one might think and I’m sure he’ll be just fine.” the blonde smiles and when Alex opens his mouth to protest the ads, “I also have a plan, just in case. So there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Okay.” Alex sighs, finally able to relax, “I’m sorry I made you get up in the middle of the night. Again.”

Brian reaches out to take his hand. After all the years they spent together Alex can see the moment his boyfriend abandons his usual mask to let a real smile through. “It’s okay.” the blonde mumbles, eyes hooded, “I don’t mind going out of my way for you.”

Alex’s heart flutters in his chest. “I love you.” he whispers, gently squeezing Brian’s hand. His previous anger is still kind of bubbling under his skin, but Brian’s, the real Brian’s, presence calms him down.

“I love you too.” his boyfriend replies and presses their lips together. Alex’s eyes slide shut. He feels warm and comfortable and, most importantly, safe.

‘We’ve come such a long way.’ he can’t help but think. He still remembers the first few years of their relationship. Back then he’d felt disgusted whenever Brian touched him intimately, but had been too afraid to bring it up with the boy whom he back then saw as a brother. Had been too afraid of losing the person he cared about the most in the entire world.

He’s so glad that in the end he did fall in love with Brian. That nowadays being together feels as natural as breathing. That their hugs feel safe and their kisses taste like home. That the shiver Brian’s hand under his shirt causes is one of pleasure and not one of distaste. That their bodies coming together has become an act of joy.

Alex can worry about Tim later. For now he just wants to be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been planning on writing a chapter from Alex's pov for a while now, but it was still kinda hard to channel that angry boi. In the future there will be a chapter from Brian's pov too, so you can look forward to that ^^


	38. 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. This... took me almost three weeks to write... I'm so sorry ^^;  
> I'm not 100% happy with how this turned out, but I hope it's okay. Enjoy :3

Tim is lying in bed, mindlessly staring at the darkness where the ceiling is, when his phone vibrates. It’s a text from Alex asking to meet up. It’s strange for the taller man to contact him in the middle of the night and even stranger for him to want Tim to come to his dorm instead of meeting halfway. To say Tim was concerned would be an understatement.

As quickly as possible he slips into the first pair of pants he gets a hold of in the dark: a comfortably soft pair of sweatpants, most likely Noah’s. He grabs his jacket and shoes and leaves. In his haste he doesn’t try to be quiet. If the angry grumbling is anything to go by, he probably woke up his roommate, but right now the only thing that matters is getting to Alex’s as soon as possible.

He makes it out of Harris Hall in record time. The chilly night air hits him like a train. He shivers and rubs his arms to keep warm as he runs along the dark empty campus streets. Some kind of animal, probably an owl, hoots in the distance. Other than that and Tim’s footfalls on the pavement it’s eerily silent.

Tim’s almost reached Bryant Hall when suddenly someone intercepts his path. It’s one of the detectives that questioned him a few days ago. Detective Blake, if he remembers the tall, well dressed man’s name correctly.

“Mr. Wright.” a female voice calls from behind. Turning around he sees the other detective, Larsson, walking towards him. “We’d like to talk to you. At the station.” The finality in the woman’s words makes it clear that there is no arguing.

Tim is about to ask whether he can at least write Alex a message telling him he won’t come, but detective Larsson is already walking away. With a sigh he follows her to her police car and, when prompted, enters the vehicle. He fastens the seat belt and as he straightens again, Larsson, who took the passenger seat, is turned towards him, holding her hand out. “Your phone, please.” she firmly demands.

Tim furrows his brows, not sure whether it was actually legal of her to take his phone without arresting him, but he gives it to her anyway. He figures not antagonizing the detectives will in the end work in his favour. The woman snatches the phone and places it in her jacket pocket.

***

A few minutes later they reach the police station. Tim has to admit that it is a little nerve wracking to walk into the old building, framed by two officers of the law. The several pairs of eyes that turn to stare at him don’t really help. Nervously he chews his bottom lip and the fingers of his right hand play with his left wrist.

He’s led to a room that’s empty save for a table and a chair on either side of said furniture. There is also a one way window, disguised as a mirror, covering half of the right wall. Larsson and Blake lead him to the chair facing the door and the woman asks him to sit down and wait for a bit. She and her partner will be back soon. Then they leave him alone.

As soon as the door closes behind the detectives the situation hits him. He’s at a police station. Alone. And Alex is waiting for him. Alone. Tears gather in his eyes. Alex helped him when he needed it most and the one time the taller man needs him, Tim’s not there. And even worse, he’s also the reason he and his boyfriends will go to jail. He just knows he is. The detectives will grill him and he’ll fold like the pathetic weakling he is.

***

Tim doesn’t know how long he waits in that room. It could have been minutes. It could have been hours. It certainly feels like the latter. When the door finally opens again he almost laughs in relieve. Only for the dread to settle back into the pit of his stomach as soon as his eyes meet detective Blake’s.

The huge man takes a seat across from Tim and sets a folder down on the table. He folds his hands on top of the folder and, for a few minutes, just looks at Tim. “You don’t need to be afraid.” his deep voice suddenly cuts through the silence, “We only want to ask a few questions.”

Tim bites his bottom lip and avoids the detective’s gaze. A wet drop hitting his hand makes him jump. He reaches up to feel his wet cheek and with horror realizes he’s crying.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” Detective Blake says, his voice suddenly comforting and warm, and hands him a tissue.

“I-I know…” Tim tries to suppress a sniff. His voice almost breaks and the tall man’s eyes soften. Figuring he could take advantage of the officer’s sympathy now that he’s earned it, he continues: “It’s just I- When you approached me I was on my way to Alex’s. He asked me to come over and… he’s probably worried sick right now…”  
“Do you know this Alex’s number?” Blake surprisingly offers his own phone for him to take.

Tim nods. He’s always been good at memorizing melodies and, since he started assigning digits with musical notes, numbers too. He quietly hums Alex’s melody to himself as he presses the buttons. Then he sends his boyfriend a text: _> Sorry I won’t be able to make it. I’m at the police station. Don’t worry about me, I’m okay.<_ He’s about to give the phone back to Blake when he realizes that without clarification, Alex won’t know the text is from him, so he quickly adds _> This is Tim btw<_.

“I’m sorry.” Tim mutters. His fingers lightly brush the detective’s when he hands the device back to its owner. He shudders. Those hands aren’t Brian’s. And they aren’t Alex’s. It feels wrong to touch them.

“There’s no reason to be sorry.” Blake sounds reassuring, “Now. As for those questions I have. Do you feel up to answering them?”

“Yeah… I guess.” Tim nods. It’s probably best to get this over with as fast as possible. He can already feel Marty prodding at the back of his mind, wanting to take over.

Blake smiles at him and opens the folder. He takes a notepad and ballpoint pen out of his suit’s inside pocket and clicks the pen on.

“The reason you’re here,” the detective begins, “is that we have grounds to believe that you’ve been in contact with both victims, Lacy Vargas and Richard Leeds, shortly before they vanished. Would you mind telling me more about that?”

“I-” Tim furrows his brows, “I have? I- I’m sorry, but the last time I saw Mr. Leeds was over a week before he was… found… I was told he got sick? And that girl? I only saw her once. At Roxy’s. That was, like, a week before she was… found…”

Blake’s stare is penetrating. Tim bites his bottom lip. He didn’t lie, per se. Finally the detective’s gaze drops to the notepad, where he writes something down.

“Lacy Vargas vanished from that club. Which means you were, indeed, one of the last people to see her alive. Would you mind recounting that evening for me?”

“Uhm… sure. I don’t- I don’t like going out that much. It’s loud and there’s too many people.” Blake’s eyebrow rises and his pen glides across the paper, “It makes me… anxious… stressed… I often get panic attacks when I’m stressed. I-I don’t really drink either, so what’s the point of going out, really?” Tim laughs nervously and then continues: “That day I went to Roxy’s with my friends and boyfriend. They really wanted me to come… so I did… Uhm… I also drank… alcohol… Jay insisted. I-I remember Lacy approaching my boyfriend and I. Apparently she and Brian share… shared… a lecture. She also wanted to shake my hand… I don’t… I don’t remember much else. I think I… blacked out…”

Blake nods. They silently look at each other for a few minutes. Then: “What about the next day. Where did you wake up and in what condition?”

Tim starts drumming the melody of the Little Miss Sunshine theme on the metal table. “In my bed. I was wearing my night clothes. I think I smelled of smoke? I know I had to take a shower before leaving for class.”

“Mhm.” Blake underlines something on the notepad, “Now about your teacher, Mr. Leeds. When was the last time you saw him?”

“That was… uhm… at the end of October… on a Wednesday. I have History 1 on Wednesdays and Saturdays. That Saturday Professor Merk took over his lecture. She told us Mr. Leeds was sick…”

Detective Blake continues questioning Tim for quite a while and once the officer finally closes the notebook and folder, he feels positively drained. He’s almost sure that the moment his head touches a pillow, he’ll fall asleep, that’s how tired he is.

The taller man must have noticed his drooping eyes, because he offers Tim some coffee. “It’s not very good, though.” the officer warns. Tim chuckles. “I’d drink mud right now if it had a chance of waking me up.” The corner of Blake’s mouth twitches up. “You’re not far off.”

Turns out Blake’s warning is warranted. Tim’s not sure what the swill the detective brings him actually is, but it’s certainly not coffee. At least it doesn’t taste anything like coffee. It however does make him feel more awake, so he ends up downing it anyway, Blake quietly sitting by his side, waiting.

“Do you need a ride home?” Larsson suddenly appears next to her partner, holding out Tim’s phone for him to take.

Tim gratefully smiles at her. He takes the phone. “Thanks, but no thanks. If I don’t call Brian and Alex soon to tell them I’m okay, they’ll probably have a heart attack from worry. And knowing them they’ll insist on picking me up.” The shorter detective acknowledges his answer and leaves. Blake offers to see him out of the building, but Tim declines. He doesn’t want to spend more time with the officer than necessary.

Opening the double doors that make up the front entrance is heavenly. For a moment the early morning light blinds him. Smiling Tim walks out onto the mostly empty sidewalk. Quickly he calls Alex’s phone. His brows furrow concernedly when he can’t reach the device. Alex isn’t one to forget to charge his phone. On the other hand he probably wasn’t all there last night.

With a sigh Tim selects Brian’s number instead. This time the phone is picked up immediately. _”Tim?”_ Hearing Brian’s voice is indescribably relieving. _”Brian.”_ he sighs, _“I’m free.”_

For a few seconds the only thing he can hear from the other side of the line is heavy breathing. Then: _”We’ll pick you up. It’ll be a few minutes before we’re there. Just wait in front of the station.”_ Brian sounds urgent and before Tim can answer he’s already disconnected the call. With a chuckle Tim puts his phone away. Now all that’s left is to wait.


	39. 37

During the entire ride back to campus, Alex won’t let go of Tim’s hand. There is a slight tremble in Alex’s fingers and the taller man looks over at him every few seconds. After their eyes meet for the probably thirtieth time, Tim leans into his boyfriend, comfortably cushioning his head on the other’s arm. He closes his eyes and softly strokes his thumb across the back of Alex’s hand.

With Alex’s warmth so close and the car’s motor and his boyfriends’ breathing the only sounds, a sudden wave of tiredness hits Tim. Seems that the coffee Blake gave him is just as effective as it tastes good, which is not at all. Tim drifts off.

***

Someone softly shaking him jolts Tim back into awareness. He cracks his eyes open and his gaze meets Brian’s, who has turned around in the driver’s seat. The blonde smiles at him and lets go of his shoulder. “Wake up Alex for me, will you? We’re back.” he says and turns back around to open the car door.

Only now does Tim notice Alex is slumped against the window, snoring softly. Their hands are still clutched together. On a whim Tim decides that the best way to wake up his boyfriend is to lean in and kiss his cheek. The taller man stirs. Tim kisses his lips. After a few moments Alex returns the gesture. A big hand slides up his back and cradles the base of his skull, pulling him closer. The sunflowers in Tim’s stomach rustle.

A knock on the car window startles them apart. Brian waves at them, grinning. Hastily Tim and Alex unfasten their seat belts and get out of the car. “Sorry to disturb,” Brian chuckles, “but you guys have lectures. Alex in ten minutes and Tim in 25.”

At that Alex pales. The tallest man excuses himself and runs in the direction of Bryant Hall. Probably to get his backpack before he heads to class. Speaking of, Tim should be on his way as well. He has to change into some proper clothes before he can go to his own lecture.

“Uhm… see you later?” he asks Brian. The blonde grins. “Of course. Alex and I will meet you after your last class ends. I have a surprise for the two of you.”

A surprise? Tim can’t help but be giddy at the thought. He smiles softly and pecks his boyfriend on the lips. Then they say their goodbyes and he leaves.

***

Classes drag on longer than usual. Tim has problems concentrating, his mind often drifting off to the interrogation that morning. He didn’t raise the detectives’ suspicions, did he? He acted perfectly innocent, right?

And then there’s the surprise Brian talked about. He keeps wondering what it could be. He really hopes it’s not Arnold Walters served on a silver platter. Any other day that would be perfect, but Tim really can’t deal with that right now. He’s just so… exhausted.

By the time his final lecture of the day ends, Tim is even more tired. He keeps zoning out, before remembering to continue walking. He doesn’t even notice Alex and Brian until the latter concernedly touches his forehead.

“Are you okay? You’re hot…” the blonde asks.

Tim giggles. “Hot…” he mumbles.

Brian rolls his eyes. “Yeah that too, silly.” he says, comically overplaying his exasperation, “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“I’m fine,” Tim smiles at his boyfriends reassuringly, “Just tired, is all.”

Brian nods. “Let’s get you to my dorm then.” he asserts and wraps an arm around Tim’s waist. The fingers of the blonde’s other hand entwine with Alex’s.

Walking to Bryant Hall feels like a dream and before he knows, the door to Brian’s dorm closes behind Tim. The blonde leads him and Alex to the living/dining area. “Tada!” he says, making a sweeping motion with his arm.

At first Tim’s not sure what he’s looking at. Then it hits him. A pillow fort. Brian has carried the coffee table out of the way and placed a mattress and several pillows and blankets in the now free space. It looks comfortable and soft and Tim just wants to kiss his boyfriend. Instead he hugs the blonde, pressing his face into the hollow of his neck. “You’re the best…” he mutters against the blonde’s throat.

“Mhm.” he hears Alex voice his agreement, “It’s been much too long since we last camped out on the living room floor.”

“Let’s get comfy then, shall we?” Brian grins and walks them over to the fort.

Alex immediately lets himself fall onto the soft surface. His eyes meet Tim’s and he makes grabby hands in his direction. Smiling Tim detaches himself from Brian and sits down next to the tallest of the three, cuddling into his side. The blonde makes himself comfortable on Alex’s other side, grabbing Tim’s hand over their boyfriend’s stomach.

For a while they just lie there, silent, enjoying each other’s company. Tim closes his eyes and listens to his boyfriends’ breathing. He can feel himself drifting off.

“How did you do it?” Alex’s sudden question jolts him from his dozing.

“Do what?” he asks, a little annoyed at being brought back to awareness.

Alex heaves a deep sigh. When he speaks he sounds old and fragile, like at any moment he’s going to fall apart. “Deal with it. The killing I mean. I’ll continue to assist you guys in any way I can, but I just… I’d prefer not having nightmares from doing so…”

Tim entwines the fingers of his free hand with Alex’s. “I don’t.” he answers honestly, “I’m just really good at repressing stuff. And I guess it helps that I kinda like blood. As for nightmares, it’s kinda hard to have them if you don’t sleep.”

Alex turns to look at Tim, his brows furrowed. “What do you mean, you don’t sleep? I’ve seen you sleep. At Jay’s. You fell asleep instead of watching the Leprechaun movies.”

Tim chuckles. “It’s called dozing. I don’t dream when I doze. Since I’ve killed Louis Campbell, I’ve only properly slept twice. And both times Brian was there to keep any potential bad dreams away.”

“Awww.” Brian leans over Alex and pecks Tim on the cheek, “I’ll have to sleep with you more often then.” The blonde’s hand finds Alex’s thigh and slowly creeps up towards his groin. “And I’ll sleep with you more often too. Keep the bad dreams away.” Brian whispers into the taller man’s ear, voice sultry.

“No.” Alex catches the blonde’s wandering hand, “Not now.”

Brian pouts and sits back, muttering something Tim can’t quite catch under his breath. Alex stiffens, apparently having understood the blonde’s complaints. “Brian…” he says warningly.

Tim’s boyfriends’ eyes meet. While Tim can’t see Alex’s face, Brian looks pissed. For a moment he’s afraid the blonde is going to explode. Then Brian takes a deep breath and sits back, arms crossed in front of his chest.

The tension doesn’t leave Alex. Instead he clenches his fist. “That’s it?” he questions loudly, “You’re just going to pretend you never said that?”

“Shut up” Brian growls, “I’m thinking.”

“Thinking…” Alex deadpans. Tim lays his hand on the taller man’s shoulder. Just in case. His boyfriend’s body is shaking beneath his fingers. “What the hell is there to think about?!” Alex’s sudden scream causes Tim to flinch. He doesn’t let go of his boyfriend though.

Just like that the anger is back in Brian’s eyes. “Yes! Thinking!” he starts shouting, but the visibly reels himself back in, taking a few calming breaths before he continues, “I’m trying, okay? I’m not like you guys. I don’t care about other people. About their feelings.” He spits out that last part like it tastes disgusting on his tongue.

“I don’t care about your guys’ feelings…” Brian admits, “But I want to. So please, give me some time to figure this stuff out.”

Tim feels like he’s been slapped across the face. His chest feels so tight he can’t breathe. His eyes burn and tears are threatening to spill. “You… you don’t care? But you said you love me…” is all he manages to say. Alex’s hand finds his, their fingers threading together. It’s a small comfort.

Brian’s eyes meet Tim’s. “I do.” the blonde says evenly, his gaze for a moment darting to meet Alex’s, “I love you. Both of you. I want to get better at this caring stuff, because I want to love you properly. I want to become a better person, because I think you deserve it.”

Alex sniffs. The tallest of the three turns around and tightly embraces Tim, burying his face in the crook of his neck. Tim’s shoulder feels wet. “I-” he’s lost for words. Brian’s beautiful blue eyes are still on him. He can’t return that gaze any longer. Can’t look at Brian any longer. Instead he focuses on the sobbing man who’s holding onto him like a lifeline. With shaking hands he returns the taller man’s embrace, carefully rubbing up and down the other’s back.

“I’m sorry…” Brian’s broken whisper draws his attention back to the blonde, “I can’t give you what you deserve…” With that his boyfriend gets up and starts to leave.

A sudden panic grips Tim’s heart. Somehow he knows that if he lets Brian go now, he’ll lose him. That realization rips him from his distressed rigour and he throws himself at the retreating blonde, inadvertently pulling Alex with him. He hits the floor hard, Alex’s weight punching the air from his lungs. His fingers close around denim.

Looking up his gaze meets Brian’s. The blonde’s eyes are wide in shock, his mouth slightly open. Alex’s breath is shaky against his neck, the taller man’s arms still desperately gripping his body. “Don’t.” Tim pleads, “Don’t leave me.”

“Okay.” Brian breathes, squatting down, “I’ll stay.” He lays his hand atop the one still holding onto his pant leg.

“Good.” Tim almost manages to smile, “Because I’ll never let you go.” His grip on his boyfriends tightens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decimal  
> C45


	40. 38

What should have been a nice and relaxing evening is now plagued by uncomfortable silence. After lying on the floor for what felt like hours, holding onto his boyfriends, Tim sat back down in the pillow fort. Alex, usually the one to always follow Brian, doesn’t even want to look at the blonde right now, so the tallest of the three just lays on his side to Tim’s right, turned away from the others, staring at nothing in particular. The only reason Tim knows he didn’t fall asleep is the taller man’s fingers softly playing with Tim’s right hand.

Brian sits to Tim’s other side, still as a statue. Every once in a while he glances at the blonde to check whether he’s still there. Whether he’s still breathing. To see the other’s chest slowly rising and falling is reassuring.

“I just-” Tim tries and fails to start a conversation, his words hanging heavy between them in the silent room. Alex shuffles. Brian clears his throat.

Tim’s eyes wander to the cheap looking clock on the wall above the entrance door. For a while he just watches the seconds tic by, waiting for something, anything, to happen. To, hopefully, wake up and realize their fight was just a dream. That Brian didn’t say what he said. That Brian cares.

“I killed Troy for you.” Alex suddenly breaks the deafening silence, “I killed him because I thought he was telling lies about you. Turns out he was right. You are a psychopath and can’t feel love. I became a murderer… for nothing.”

Tim hears the rustling of Brian moving. Out of the corner of his eye he sees the blonde has turned to look at Alex’s back. For twenty-three seconds it’s silent again. Then: “He wasn’t right. I do love you. I know that much.”

Alex’s grip on Tim’s fingers tightens, painfully aggravating his still healing wounds. “You said you don’t care.” the taller man sounds like he’s pressing his words through clenched teeth.

“About your feelings.” Brian corrects, matter of fact, “I said I don’t care about your feelings. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. Because I do. I care enough that I want to lock you up in my bunker and never let you out again, so you can’t ever leave me. I just don’t care how you’d feel about that. But I want to care. Which is why I won’t do that. Not anymore.” At that last part Brian’s eyes meet Tim’s.

Alex’s grip on Tim’s fingers slackens. “Does that mean that… you knew? That in the beginning I didn’t like the way you touched me? Did you know sleeping with you made me feel sick, but decided to do it anyway?” The taller man’s voice is barely above a whisper, but the words hit Tim as though he shouted them. He starts to shake.

“Yes.”

At Brian’s admittance, a pained wail tears from Alex’s throat. The brunet curls up further on his side and presses Tim’s hand to his face. Sobs start shaking his boyfriend’s body. Awkwardly Tim frees his fingers from Alex’s grip and drapes himself across the taller man’s back, hugging him tightly to his chest. He lays his palm over the other’s heart, just to feel he’s alive.

The mattress dips as Brian gets up, probably to try and exit the room again. “Don’t you dare and leave now.” Tim hisses, his words slightly muffled from where he presses his face into Alex’s back, “I will hunt you down and kill you, I swear.” The blonde doesn’t answer, but he does sit back down.

Safe for Alex’s quiet crying it’s silent again. Tim does his best to comfort the man, holding him close and interlacing their fingers. He desperately tries to think of something to say, some magic word that will make the taller man’s sorrow go away, but there’s nothing. He’s drawing a blank.

“It’s been my dream ever since I was a kid.” Brian suddenly starts talking. Alex’s sobs quiet down a little. “I’ve always wanted to make you my wife.” the blonde laughs ruefully, “My fairy tale princess. I was determined to make my dream come true, no matter what. When you accepted my confession I knew you only did so because you were afraid of being alone again. I could see it in your eyes.

“I should have told you that we could stay friends. Brothers. I just couldn’t accept the thought of not getting my happy ending. And that’s how fairy tales end, right? After hardship and suffering the prince marries the princess and they live happily ever after.

“I thought that it doesn’t matter whether you are happy. So long as I had you I would be content. I wasn’t. I thought casual flings on the side could fill that hole in me. They didn’t.”

The abrupt silence causes Tim to turn around. Brian is sitting at the edge of the mattress, legs crossed and intensely staring at them. The blonde’s hands are calmly folded in front of him, his posture and expression not giving any indication as to what he might be feeling.

Then Brian speaks again: “Watching you two made me realize what was wrong. Me. I am not the prince, I am the monster.”

Alex suddenly shoots up from his lying position, throwing Tim off in the process. The tallest of the three opens his mouth, his jaw working uselessly. His red, puffy eyes are wide and wet.

Tim pushes himself off the cushions he landed on and drapes himself across Alex’s back again, arms wrapping around the man’s middle and chin resting on his left shoulder. “A prince, huh?” he utters and rolls his eyes, “I’ve always hated fairy tale princes.”

Brian’s gaze focuses on Tim, the blonde’s brows furrowed in confusion. “What… are you trying to say?”

Tim can’t keep a wistful smile off his face. “I neither need nor want a prince. I’ve always preferred the hunter who cuts open the wolf to save the little goats.” His fingers twitch against Alex’s stomach. Alex’s hand finds his, big and warm and safe.

“I have to admit.” the tallest of the three speaks up, “I was kind of impressed by Prince Phillip slaying the dragon.”

Tim thoughtfully hums and says: “The dragon looks kinda cool, though.” Alex nods in agreement.

Tim’s eyes meet Brian’s. The blonde looks like he’s amused, but unsure how to react to the sudden shift in topic. Tim disentangles his left hand from Alex’s and holds it out for Brian to take. “I love you, Brian, and I want to make this work. If you do too, I’m willing to take a chance.”

The corners of the blonde’s mouth lift in a genuine smile and he threads his finger’s with Tim’s. “Thank you.” he breathes, voice barely above a whisper.

Alex on the other hand tenses up. “I…” the man starts, his shoulders beginning to tremble.

“I’m not going to leave you if you don’t want to be with Brian anymore.” Tim squeezes Alex’s hand with his right, “I love you and nothing will change that.” Instantly the taller man relaxes. “I just… I need some time… to think.” he mutters and presses a kiss to Tim’s head.

“Okay…” Brian nods, his grip on Tim’s fingers tightening. Tim strokes his thumb along the blonde’s to calm him down. He tries to encouragingly smile at his boyfriend, but it probably ends up looking miserable.

***

Not long after tiredness catches up with them and they huddle up in the pillow fort. Tim’s laying, once again, in the middle, a barrier between the other two men. His back is turned towards Brian, who is clinging to him like an octopus, arms tightly wrapped around his body, his soft snores tickling the back of Tim’s neck. Alex is facing him, their fingers intertwined and their foreheads touching.

Despite being dead tired, Tim can’t sleep once again. He just can’t stop worrying. What if Alex decides he can’t look at Brian anymore? What if he ends up wanting to kill him? Tim wouldn’t fault him, that’s for sure, but he doesn’t want to choose between his two boyfriends. He wants to have both of them and if that makes him greedy, so be it.

‘I’m gonna make sure they stay with me.’ he decides, ‘No matter what.’


	41. i'm on point!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: I used certain tags for a reason. If you have a weak stomach, you should probably stop reading once the punching starts.
> 
> Side Note 17: If you're curious: Brian's pansexual, but mostly aromantic. Alex and Tim are gay. Raphael/the creature is asexual. Amy is bisexual. Uncle Erin and his friends are mostly straight and/or bi. Doesn't matter. They're pedophiles. Everyone else is straight (except maybe Noah, Evan and Vinnie. I didn't decide on their sexualities.)

The morning after the ‘Big Fight’, as Marty has dubbed it, Tim is so exhausted that it doesn’t take him any effort at all to take over. The room is still dark and Brian and Alex are fast asleep. While Alex moved during the night, now lying half off the mattress, Brian’s still wrapped around Marty’s body.

With a huff Marty pries the blonde’s arms from around his middle. “Tim?” Brian mumbles in response. “No.” Marty whispers and turns around to face the blonde.

“Marty? Why-?” Brian sounds really out of it.

Marty yawns. “Our body is exhausted. I took over so we could get some sleep.”

The blonde’s brows furrow. If he weren’t straight, Marty would probably find his expression charming. “If you can do that, why don’t you take over every night?”

Marty holds back a chuckle as to not wake up Alex. “I would,” he admits, “but it’s not that easy.”

The corner’s of Brian’s lips lift in a tired, but mischievous grin. “Good to know you can’t just take over willy-nilly.” 

Marty rolls his eyes. “Sure I could, but Tim’s my friend and I’m not just gonna take over when he really doesn’t want me to.”

For a few moments they just look at each other, Brian’s eyes half lidded with tiredness. “Makes sense.” the blonde mutters after a while and turns around, “I’m gonna sleep some more.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Marty grabs one of the many blankets that make up the pillow fort and wraps it around his body. Then he closes his eyes.

***

When Marty opens his eyes again it’s gotten considerably lighter outside. After a good yawn and stretch, he looks around to see Alex sprawled on the floor, still asleep. Brian on the other hand is gone. With a sigh Marty gets up. He grimaces, silently cursing himself, and Tim, for not taking off the jeans he’s wearing before sleeping. And for not brushing his teeth.

After locating a piece of paper, he writes Alex a note and then leaves for his dorm. It’s probably not the best idea to leave the taller man alone, but he really needs a change of clothes. He’ll just have to be quick and hope he makes it back before Alex wakes up.

The dorm’s empty when he enters. Marty makes his way over to the box containing his clothes and gets himself some underwear, a pair of khakis, a graphic tee and a jeans jacket. He stuffs the clothes as well as some toiletries and the blank mask Tim bought him into Tim’s backpack and then hurries back to Bryant Hall.

Alex is sitting at the table, note in hand, when Marty opens the door to Brian’s dorm. Their eyes meet and the taller man acknowledges him with a nod of his head. Marty shoots him an uneasy smile. “Uhm… I’ll just…” he indicates towards the bathroom.

Alex nods. “Yeah…”

“Yeah…” Marty replies and makes his way to the bathroom to shower and change. And brush his teeth of course.

***

“It’s… weird…”

“Hm?” Marty looks up from where he’s sitting at the kitchen table across from Alex, drawing black lips onto the white mask with marker, “What’s weird?” he questions the taller man.

Alex purses his lips and scrunches up his brows. “How do I say this…” he mumbles under his breath. Their eyes meet. “Seeing you? I guess?” Alex gestures with his hands, “Like, you have Tim’s body, but you’re not him. You look like him, but you act differently, talk differently. You’re not Tim, but you have the face of the boy I wanna kiss.”

Marty chuckles ruefully. Alex’s reaction to him is to be expected. It’s probably how most people would feel in his situation. It still hurts a little to hear him say it out loud. “Don’t worry. You won’t have to look at his face much longer.” he says and pointedly looks at the mask.

“That-that’s not what I meant!” Alex sputters and his cheeks turn a little red.

Marty raises his eyebrows. “Uhu.” He doesn’t buy it.

“I-Okay maybe I kinda did.” Alex admits, “But you don’t have to hide your face because of it. I can get used to it.”

“Don’t worry.” Marty grins, “This isn’t my face anyway. This is.” He holds up the mask. At the taller man’s confused expression, he clarifies: “I don’t actually look like this.” Marty gestures towards himself, “This is what Tim looks like. Raph and I look different.”

Alex intently stares at him. “And… what do you look like?” he asks, eyes narrowed.

Marty finishes the black lips and holds up the mask. He’s already coloured the edges of the eyeholes black and drawn arched eyebrows above. “Like this.” he says and points at it.

Alex opens his mouth to say something, but in that moment Tim’s cell phone rings. The taller man’s mouth clicks shut as Marty fishes the phone from his jacket pocket. The caller ID shows it’s Brian calling. He accepts the call and before he can utter a word, the blonde excitedly tells him to come to the bunker and then the line disconnects.

Marty blinks once, twice, and then puts the phone away. “Uhm…” he sheepishly turns to Alex, “Would you mind driving me to the bunker? I can’t drive.”

Alex’s face goes through several expressions. Shock, confusion and anger, before finally settling on defeat. “Alright…” the bespectacled man sighs and gets up. Marty quickly puts on the mask and follows him.

***

For some reason Alex decides to come with Marty instead of staying behind in the car. When they reach the tree in front of which the entrance to the bunker is located, Brian is already waiting for them. The blonde’s eyes widen in surprise upon seeing them. “Alex?” he mutters, voice disbelieving, “And what’s with that mask, Tim.”

“I’m not Tim.” Marty rolls his eyes. Brian must be really thrown to not immediately notice his identity, like he usually does.

“Oh. You’re still here.” Brian sounds so disappointed Marty can’t help but feel offended.

“Wow. Tone it down with the enthusiasm or I might start to think you like me.” he mutters, rolling his eyes.

The blonde chuckles quietly. “My, aren’t you a sarcastic little bugger.”

Marty smirks beneath the mask. “What can I say? You bring out the best in me.”

This time Brian’s smile is genuine. He opens the trap door leading to the bunker and descends the stairs. Curiously Marty and Alex follow him. They enter the actual bunker to the sight of a naked man, tied up on the chair in the middle of the room. Marty immediately recognizes him as one of the men that would pay Uncle Erin to rape him. The sight of that vile person makes his fists shake in anger.

“Tada!” Brian gestures towards the tied up man as though he’s presenting him to them, “I was gonna give Arnold Walters to Tim to cheer him up, but since he’s not here right now…” The blonde’s expression falls again towards the end.

Marty cautiously pats Brian’s shoulder. “I just want some alone time with this guy and then I’ll get Tim.” His eyes meet Arnold Walters’. The man screams incoherently into his gag, futilely pulling at his bonds.

An exasperated sigh from Alex draws everyone’s attention. “I hate to rain on your parade, but you do realize that Tim was questioned by the cops just yesterday. You’re being too careless, Brian.”

Against expectations Brian smiles. “Don’t worry Alex.” he says, “I called Mrs. Wilson today. It’s all taken care of.”

For a moment they stare at each other. Then Alex lets out a long breath. “If you say so.” he mumbles and then walks over to the sofa, flopping onto the soft furniture, turning his back to them. “I’ll wait here until you’re done.” he then addresses Marty, “I can bring you back to campus whenever you want.” Gratefully Marty nods in his direction. “Thanks.”

Then he turns his attention back to Arnold Walters. Seeing that disgusting face a wave of hate, so strong he almost doubles over at the intensity of it, hits him. He takes a step in his direction, when a shouted “Wait!” from Brian stops him. Confused he looks at the blonde, who just came out of the back room, carrying one of his hazmat suits and masks. He jogs over to Marty and hands him said items. “Wouldn’t want to get blood on your clothes.”

“Yeah. Thanks.” Marty takes the clothes, thankful for Brian’s thinking ahead. If not for the blonde he probably would have started wailing on Arnold Walters without regard for consequences.

Awkwardly he slips the ugly mustard yellow hazmat suit over his clothes and exchanges his mask for Brian’s. Then the blonde gives him a pair of black rubber gloves, which he immediately puts on. Now, sufficiently covered, Marty finally makes his way over to Arnold Walters. He pulls his fist back and punches the bound man in the face. The feeling of his knuckles impacting flesh, nose crunching under the force, is so satisfying, he immediately repeats the action. Blood starts pouring from the nostrils and a cut on the bridge.

Changing things up, he uses his left to punch the bastard in the stomach. Arnold Walters keels over, fat tears falling from his eyes, and pathetically whimpers behind his gag. Wanting to hear the sick bastard beg the same way Marty used to plead for mercy, he unties and removes the cloth from his mouth. Then he starts hitting him again, focussing on the man’s stomach and chest.

Walters cries in pain, gurgling incoherently. Seeing the man act so pathetic causes a knife of white hot rage to pierce Marty’s chest and he hits him in the stomach as strong as he can, causing Walters to throw up. The vomit hits Walters’ bare legs and chest, as well as Marty’s retreating arm. With a huff of disgust he wipes it onto the bastard’s upper arm and back.

“Good thing you thought of giving me this suit, Brian. This stuff is nasty.” he says, looking at said blonde, who’s sitting on the floor, cross legged, next to the plastic covering the floor. Brian grins.

Marty eyes Walters again. He could just continue punching him, but the pain in his fingers tells him it’s probably not a good idea. Hopefully he didn’t reopen any of the wounds there. Suddenly he remembers one of his favourite fantasies he had when this disgusting pig raped him. “You don’t happen to have a few needles lying around here?” he asks Brian, his entire focus still on Walters.

He hears the blonde chuckle. “As a matter of fact, I do.” Then there’s shuffling and the sound of someone walking.

“P-please! Let me go!” Walters decides to speak up, his voice sounding nasally.

Marty scoffs. “Of course. Just like you let me go when I asked you to.” he puts as much venom as possible into his words, “Just like you stopped when I cried from pain. Fuck off Walters. I’m going to make you suffer for what you did to me.”

The pathetic man starts to blubber more. “I-I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry! I’ll do anything to make up for it! Money! Whores! I’ll give it to you!”

A disgusted laugh escapes Marty’s mouth. Seriously? That’s what Walters decides to bribe him with? He fights back the overwhelming urge to punch that disgusting mouth, smash those ugly yellowing teeth in.

“Here.” Brian handing him a medium sized wooden box prevents him from going through with it and possibly hurting his hands more. Marty thanks the man and opens the box. Inside are several stainless steel needles, ranging from just half an inch up to five inches in length. Perfect.

With a smirk he walks over to Walters. He kneels in front of the whimpering man, setting the box down on the floor slightly behind himself and takes a hold of Walters’ flaccid, vomit covered penis. Even with the rubber gloves covering his hands he shudders at the feel of it. Suppressing his disgust he strokes it and it doesn’t take long for the organ to get hard.

Once the appendage has reached full hardness, Walters panting all the while, Marty gets a one inch needle from the box. The bound man seems to realize what Marty is about to do and starts to beg: “Oh my god, no! Please! Don’t do this to me!”

Marty ignores the drivel and pinches the head of the penis between the index finger and thumb of his left hand. Then he starts to press the needle into the solid flesh, a little below the slit. Walters starts screaming even before blood wells up, dripping down the shaft in thin lines. By the time the needle is fully inserted Walters is a sobbing mess, his penis no longer hard.

“Don’t like it when you’re on the receiving end, huh? Sadistic bastard. I’m gonna show you pain.” Marty mutters under his breath and starts stroking the dick again. The appendage pathetically twitches under his ministrations, more blood dripping from the wound he inflicted on it. Finally, after what feels like ages, the flesh starts to harden again.

Not wanting to have to repeat the process over and over again, Marty decides to do something about it. He takes one of the biggest needles in the box and pushes it down the urethra, blood and piss starting to dribble from the slit. Walters cries and pleads for him to stop, face covered in blood and snot, body twitching and writhing in pain.

“What do you say?” Marty asks Walters, holding up another small needle, “How many of these bad boys fit into that miserable prick of yours?” The man lets out a wretched sob. Ruthlessly Marty sticks the needle through the cock at the root.

He gets another. Then he looks up. First his eyes meet Brian’s. The blonde is sitting next to the tarp again, excitedly watching him from the sidelines. When Marty focuses his attention on him the blonde shoots him a wicked smile. Then Marty looks in Alex’s direction. The brunette sat up from where he lay on the couch to see what Marty’s doing, his expression one of morbid fascination and disgust.

Marty holds up a needle. “You know.” he casually says, “If you hurt Tim, I’ll make sure it’s you in that chair.”

Unexpectedly Brian laughs cheerfully. “Kinky.” he ribs him.

Rolling his eyes, Marty responds: “You’re one weird motherfucker.”

Then he puts his focus back on Walters. “Time to get back to work.” he mutters and pushes the needle into flesh, causing another shrieking scream to tear from his victim’s throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This... was something else to write @.@
> 
> I wanna thank my best friend here. Until now they've sent me a comment (via text message) on every chapter. Thank you very much. You keep me going :3


	42. 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! Next chapter! I hope it's okay ^^;

The first thing Tim sees is blood. Lots of blood. It’s on his gloved hands and all over his tyvek covered arms. There are puddles of it on the plastic covering the floor beneath a passed out man bound to a chair, in front of which Tim is kneeling. Between them, in the biggest puddle of blood is a lump of meat that looks more like a pincushion than anything else.

“Uhm…” Tim helplessly looks around and when his eyes meet Brian’s he asks, “What happened here?”

The blonde smiles widely. “Turns out Marty didn’t like this Arnold Walters’ dick.” he points at the unconscious man, “It was quite a show to be honest.”

Dick? Does that mean? Tim looks at the lump of flesh again, then up between the bound man’s legs, which confirms his suspicion. A surprised “Ah.” escapes him. “I guess the gloves need throwing away then.” he mutters and gets to his feet. His knees protest at the action, pain shooting up his back and cramped shoulders. With a hiss he stretches and his shoulders pop loudly.

Brian chuckles. “I guess so. Wanna take a shower?”

Only now does Tim notice how sticky he feels, sweat plastering the hazmat suit he’s wearing to his skin. On shaky legs he starts walking in the direction of the bathroom, but stops once he reaches the edge of the plastic covering. With how much blood he was kneeling in, he’d surely stain the floor if he walked across it.

“Just take off the suit and boots; I’ll take care of it.” Brian suddenly says, seemingly having guessed the reason for his hesitation. Tim nods and goes to do as the blonde suggested. He tries to start with the gloves, but as he grips the cuff, pain shoots through his fingers. Tim winces and bites his bottom lip as he forces his aching joints to move the way he wants them to. It feels like ages before he finally manages to peel the rubber off his hands.

The bandages underneath aren’t blood soaked, thank god, but he’ll have to unwrap them anyway to make sure his hands are okay. But later. First he’ll have to take off the hazmat suit. Grasping the zipper, his fingers protest harshly and tears gather in his eyes. He tastes blood.

Suddenly his hand is gently pried away from the zipper. Brian smiles at him. “It’s okay. I’ll take care of it.”

“Okay…” Tim sighs and lets his boyfriend take off his suit. The blonde takes his time pulling the zipper down, kneeling in front of Tim, looking up at him through hooded eyes. Sunflowers flutter in his stomach and he smiles.

Brian grasps Tim’s hips under the suit, letting his hands slowly wander up to his shoulders, tickling his sides on the way. A quiet laugh escapes Tim at the sensation. Then his boyfriend pushes the tyvec off his shoulders, fingers dancing along Tim’s back until they quickly squeeze his butt, causing him to gasp softly. Sinking to his knees again, Brian pulls off first the boots and then the suit the rest of the way. Despite the bunker being heated, Tim shivers, Marty’s clothes sticking to him from sweat.

“Now let’s have that shower, shall we?” Brian suggests, straightening up and offering his hand to Tim. “Yeah.” Tim takes it and lets himself be pulled to the bathroom.

When Brian opens the bathroom door, Tim is greeted with the sight of Alex, pale faced, sitting on the floor, leaning against the shower cubicle. Without thinking Tim rushes to his side, sitting next to him and cautiously touching his shoulder. “Are you okay?” he asks.

The brunet’s eyes meet his,. “Yeah…” the taller man mutters, “That stuff in there just became a little too much for me.” He tiredly indicates towards the bunker’s main room. Tim nods, not really understanding Alex’s revulsion, but accepting it.

“I’ll leave you two alone…” Brian suddenly says. Tim’s gaze snaps in the blonde’s direction, only to see the door close behind him. For a few seconds he stares at the white wood, before, with a sigh, turning his attention back to Alex. “Shower?” he asks. An “Okay.” And a small smile is his answer.

***

When Tim and Alex leave the bathroom a little while later, Tim only dressed in a towel, the yellow hazmat suit, boots and rubber gloves are gone and Arnold Walters is awake again, quietly whimpering and sniffing. Brian’s sitting on the sofa, arms crossed, and staring at the bound man, an unreadable expression on his face. The blonde doesn’t acknowledge them.

“Uhm… Brian?” Tim cautiously tries to get his attention, grabbing Alex’s hand for support, wincing as his fingers painfully protest.

For a few moments it seems as though he failed, but then the blonde utters a quiet “Yeah?”

Tim swallows nervously. Did he do something wrong? Is Brian angry because he took a shower with Alex instead of him? “Where’s the first aid kit?” he manages to ask, thankfully without stuttering, “It’s not where it was last time and I wanna take a look at my hands.”

Finally Brian turns to regard him with warm blue eyes. The corners of the blonde’s mouth twitch up into a small smile. “I’ll go get it. You sit down and you, Alex, can help him take off the bandages.” he says and gets up from the sofa to walk past them into the bedroom.

“Come.” Alex tugs him towards the furniture Brian just vacated and gently pushes him to sit down. Then the brunet sits next to him and starts to carefully unwrap the gauze from Tim’s fingers. There are bruises forming on his knuckles and the skin is raw. In some places it split open and he’s bleeding slightly, the edges of the wounds puffy from being wet. His old wounds are mostly okay, only a few scabs having detached.

“What-what did Marty do?” Tim asks in shock.

Alex chuckles a little, carefully inspecting the damage. He softly runs a finger along Tim’s palm. “Broke Walters’ nose with his fist and then punched him in the stomach until he threw up.”

Tim glances at the still crying bound man. Walters’ nose is purple and swollen, blood caked around it, and his face and torso are covered in a chunky light brown liquid. “Ah.”

“Wow. You and Marty should start taking better care of your hands.”

Tim flinches in surprise and turns to see Brian standing next to the sofa, carrying a first aid kit, and staring at Tim’s revealed wounds.

Tim’s face grows hot. “Yeah…” he mutters, a little embarrassed. Brian sits down behind him and he turns to face him so the blonde can reach his hands. Brian gently takes his right, Alex still carefully petting his left.

“I’m gonna disinfect that now.” Brian tells him. Tim nods and braces himself for the inevitable sting. The blonde takes a cotton ball, douses it in some disinfectant and uses it clean out his wounds. Tim sharply inhales through his teeth. Alex lets go of his hand and the taller man’s arms encircle his waist from behind, the brunet laying his chin on Tim’s shoulder. The warm embrace helps distract him from the pain at least a little while Brian quickly finishes cleaning his scrapes and cuts, before wrapping his hand in a new bandage. Then he repeats the process on Tim’s left.

Once Tim’s hands are wrapped and the first aid kit is back where it came from, they decide it’s time to leave. Since Tim doesn’t have anything else with him, he’s forced to wear Marty’s sweaty clothes, but right now he doesn’t even care. “I just wanna get something to eat right now…” he mutters, his stomach rumbling.

“Yeah. Me too.” Brian laughs, “Let’s go and get some lunch back in Tuscaloosa.” Surprisingly Alex decides to join them as well.

They leave the bunker and are on their way to the cars, when suddenly Tim’s phone rings. It’s impossible for him to fish it out of his pocket with his busted hands, so he asks his boyfriends to get it for him. Alex, walking to his left and therefore closer to the pocket the phone is in, quickly retrieves the device and gives it to Tim.

When he looks at the caller ID, Tim’s heart all but stops. In bold letters it says _**‘Mother’**_.


	43. 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter! Hope you like it :3

For a while Tim just stares at his phone’s display, not really looking at the caller ID, but very aware of what it says. _**’Mother’**_. This can only mean one thing. His parents are back from their recent business trip. And they have most likely seen their unmade bed. He’s never been more thankful that the maid always cleans the entire house, except for the bedrooms, before his parents enter the house after one of their long flights, or he’d be in real trouble for the egg he and Brian left on the carpet. Not really wanting to be confronted by mother right now, but knowing he has no choice, Tim presses the button to accept the call with a shaky finger.

_“Timothy! Finally you answer. You know it is bad manners to make people wait like that.”_

Tim’s face heats up in shame. He can practically feel his mother’s disapproving stare, boring into his very soul and judging his every bad thought. “I-I’m sorry mother. I did not mean to make you wait. My hands are injured and I had problems getting my phone out of my pocket.”

_“What have I told you about stuttering, Timothy?”_

Tim has to keep himself from swallowing around the lump that has formed in his throat. “Not to do it. I am sorry mother.”

_“And why are your hands injured, Timothy? Is it because of that filthy hobby of yours? I told you a gentleman mustn’t get his hands dirty. If you really must do it, then wear gloves to keep them clean.”_

This has been a topic of his parent’s disapproval for years now. The only reason they even allow Tim to pursue his gardening is because he promised to always wear gloves, despite preferring to feel the soft, warm dirt on his bare hands.

“Yes, mother. I am sorry. I won’t forget them again.”

Tim startles and almost drops his phone when a hand touches his back. Glancing up he sees Alex concernedly looking at him. The man’s brows are furrowed and his eyes seem to ask him if he’s okay. Tim forces himself to smile at his boyfriend to alleviate his worry.

_“Good.”_ his mother’s voice draws his attention again, _“Now, what I actually called you about. Mrs. Mayson told me she saw you and some dirty looking man enter our house last week. And wearing unflattering clothes too. What were you thinking?”_

Tim’s eyes widen. He’d forgotten about Mrs. Mayson, the self declared neighbourhood watchwoman. Nobody really likes her, but everyone wants to be on her good side since her eyes and ears seem to be everywhere. Sometimes Tim wonders if the old lady set up cameras in the entire neighbourhood’s yards.

“I’d tripped and fallen into a dirty puddle. Brian lent me some of his clothes. Your house was closer than campus, so I went there to change into proper clothes.”

Brian’s hand takes his free one and the blonde smiles at him. There’s the soft rustling of sunflowers in Tim’s stomach and chest.

_“I see. And what is your explanation for using your father’s and my bed? You do have your own and there is a guest room.”_

Tim has to cover his mouth to keep mother from hearing the nervous giggle that escapes his mouth at that. “The beds were too small for the two of us.” he says once he has himself back under control.

Mother pauses. Then: _“You slept together with that dirty man?”_

Anger fills his chest at her condescending tone. “Yeah. So?” and emboldened by his irritation and the knowledge that his boyfriends are by his side, he adds, “And he fucked me on the kitchen counter too. What are you gonna do about it?” At his statement a giggle bursts from Brian’s mouth and Alex’s jaw hits the ground. Tim sheepishly grins at him, feeling his face grow hot. What has he done? Why did he just blurt that out?

Another silence on the other end of the line. This time longer and heavier. Before a heavy exhale. _“You have a boyfriend?”_

That’s… not what he expected. He thought his mother would react with cold anger, throwing condescending words and venom his way, disowning him. Not… this simple calm question.

“U-uhm. Yeah. I am in a relationship. With two amazing guys.” he mutters once his brain recovers from the shock. Alex’s arm sneaks around his waist, taking a gentle, but firm, hold of his hip, the taller man’s body warmly pressing into his side. Brian lifts Tim’s free hand to nuzzle his cheek into it and then plant a kiss on his knuckles. The sunflowers grow to fill out Tim’s entire body.

_“I see… In that case you have to bring them over for dinner today so your father and I can meet them. No excuses. And please, make sure that they are presentable. I do not want to give Mrs. Mayson any more ammunition than she already has.”_

For the second time in less than a minute Tim’s brain short circuits. His parents want to meet Brian and Alex? As in officially? Like real, official boyfriends? It’s like a dream and he has to fight the overwhelming urge to pinch himself. “I- uhm… yeah.” he stammers, “Yeah. I’ll ask them.”

Mother tsks disapprovingly. _“What? Have I told you about your stuttering?”_ Her tone is clipped and exasperated and Tim can’t help but be as disappointed in himself as she sounds.

“I am sorry. I’m working on it.” he hopes he sounds firmer than he feels.

_“Good. I’m expecting you three at seven o’clock. Don’t be late.”_

Before Tim can react the call disconnects with a click. He sighs, for a few moments just looking at the phone in his hand, trying to comprehend what just happened. He can’t quite shake the cold feeling of dread that has latched onto his spine, his fingers twitching uncomfortably.

“You okay?” Alex’s question shakes him from his reverie. He looks up and their eyes meet. His boyfriend’s face is close, the taller man bending down to be at eye level with him. Tim feels his breath hot on his face, tingling his lips.

His face heating up a little he whispers: “I-I think so? My-my parents have invited you guys to dinner.” Speaking those words out loud it feels even more surreal. His parents never permitted anyone who wasn’t a big investor or family to enter their house. For his mother to actually ask for two, as she’d call them, peasants to visit, it’s unheard of.

Alex smiles, a dash of colour dusting his cheeks. “That… sounds good?” he says. For some reason, probably Tim’s expression, it sounds more like a question than a statement.

Tim sighs again. “I hope.” he mumbles, “Chances are they’re gonna hate you and ride my back about not choosing someone more worthy for the entire time we’re there.”

“Don’t worry.” Brian, who’d been silent this entire time, suddenly interjects, “We’re gonna be on our best behaviour. By the end of the night they’re gonna ask me to marry you.”

Tim chuckles, the air from the sharp exhale hits Alex’s face, causing his nose to twitch and his eyes to blink. That’s a scenario he’d love to see play out. But: “I doubt that. The only thing they’re interested in is your social status. If you want their favour, you gotta be filthy rich.”

“Good thing the only one whose opinion I’m interested in is you.” Alex murmurs. Has he come… closer? The taller man’s gaze is razor focussed on him. Tim never noticed before, but there are flecks of green in the brown of his eyes.

The corners of Tim’s mouth quirk up in a grin. “If you wanna kiss me, you can just do it, you know.” he whispers. Alex smiles. Then their lips meet in a soft, short kiss. “I know.” the taller man replies, “I just can’t get the thought out of my head. Of Brian doing you on the kitchen counter.”

Tim’s eyes widen a fraction. A surprised “Ah.” escapes his parted lips. His cheeks are burning. He really shouldn’t have revealed that.

Alex takes the phone from his slack grip and puts it back into Tim’s pocket. Then he grabs his free hand. “Let’s get back to the car. If your parents really care about social status so much, we should probably have lunch soon, so we have enough time to get something proper to wear.”

They start walking in the direction of the vehicles.

***

Tim’s hand is shaking so much it’s impossible for him to insert the key into the lock. Behind this door are his parents, waiting to meet his boyfriends. Waiting to judge them. They just want a proper reason, Tim is sure, to disapprove of Brian and Alex.

Fingers gently touch his arm, then wrap around his wrist, steadying his trembling. Tim’s eyes meet Brian’s. The blonde encouragingly grins at him. On his other side, Alex intertwines his fingers with Tim’s free hand. “Let’s do this.” the tallest of the three says, a barely noticeable tremble in his voice.

Tim nods, takes a deep breath and then puts the key in the lock. He bites his lower lip and turns the key. The click to signify the unlocking of the door is deafeningly loud. Tim’s hands are sweaty and he fumbles the key when he pulls it out of the lock, clumsily dropping it to the floor. He jumps at the noise.

Before he can bend down to pick it up, Brian does it for him, stuffing the key in Tim’s pocket for him. Then the blonde presses a soft kiss to his forehead. “No matter what happens, you’re still mine.” he declares, looking and sounding as confident as ever.

Seeing his boyfriend so self assured, calms Tim’s nerves a little. He manages a small smile and then reaches for the door handle.

Right as he is about to touch the cool metal, the knob turns and the door opens.


	44. 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here be chapter 42! (Holy crow! That's a lot of chapters!) Hope you'll have fun reading it ^^

Framed by the open doorway stands a woman. She is of small stature, shorter than Tim even. Her elegant dress suit hides it very well, but Tim knows that, because of her strict daily training regimen, she is toned beneath the black fabric. Her long black hair has been put up into an intricate bun atop her head and her thin lips are drawn into the very same polite smile she greets potential business contributors with.

“Mother?” The surprised gasp leaves his mouth before Tim can stop it. Usually on weekdays a maid would open the door and greet guests.

The woman’s lips twitch in disapproval. “Welcome home, Timothy. I am glad that you and your-” something like a snarl crosses Janet Wright’s mouth, “boyfriends could make it. Please. Come in.” She steps aside and motions for them to enter the house.

“Thank you for having us.” Brian beams at Tim’s mother, “It is a pleasure to meet you.” The blonde holds out his hand.

A look of disgust flits across mother’s face and she turns to walk into the house. Brian’s face is carefully blank, but the slight tremble in his fingers betrays his anger. Tim sighs and takes his boyfriend’s hand into his. “I’m sorry.” he mutters, “She never shakes anyone’s hand unless she’s wearing gloves.”

The blonde takes a long, deep breath and turns to face him. “You don’t need to apologize.” he says and pecks him on the cheek, “Let’s just get this over with.” Brian’s lips turn up into a mischievous smile and he marches into the house. He takes off his shoes and properly places them on the shoe rack, before turning around to watch and wait for Tim and Alex to do the same.

When putting his shoes away, something catches Tim’s attention and his brows furrow. Did his mother get new shoes? It’s possible, but the pink sneakers next to father’s dress shoes aren’t really her style.

Could it be…? Tim feels a flash of anger run through him. He was expecting for this dinner to be a ruse. He was expecting his parents to use this opportunity to disapprove of his boyfriends. But he didn’t think they would be so brazen as to invite over a ‘better option’, as they’d probably say.

‘Okay. Don’t make assumptions.’ Tim tells himself, ‘Maybe mother really bought these shoes for herself. Maybe there is a different explanation.’ Vowing to keep his mind open for now, Tim gets up from his crouch to see that Alex has already joined Brian in waiting for him.

Together they make their way over to the dining room.

As soon as he enters the room Tim stops. His eyes widen. The scene before him is so foreign, so unbelievable, that he needs a moment to process it.

For one, the usually entirely white decor has changed. The cushions on the chairs are baby blue and the table cloth is pastel yellow. There are yellow, red and white sunflowers in a dark blue glass vase on the table. A delicious smell is coming from the kitchen. Though Tim can’t quite place what it is, it makes his mouth water.

But what surprises him most is the woman sitting next to his father, leaning in close to the well dressed man, playing with the fingers of his left hand as she animatedly talks to him. She looks to be about his parent’s age, small wrinkles adorning her chocolate coloured skin around her mouth and eyes. Her grey streaked black curls are done up into a messy bun, a bright pink bow ribbon holding them together. Her dress is of a soft turquoise colour, the fine cloth hugging and accentuating her curvy silhouette.

Marita Johnson. The babysitter Tim had the longest. From age 18 until he left for college, 15 months later, to be exact. She is a friendly, lively woman and, admittedly, Tim’s favourite sitter in a long line of people paid to look after him. Why she is here, though, is a mystery. And even more puzzling is her behaviour around Tim’s father.

Suddenly Marita looks up, her eyes happily twinkling. “Tim!” she exclaims, gets up and quickly walks around the table. She stops right in front of him and extends her hand and shakes his when he takes it, a gesture he greatly appreciates. She knows he doesn’t like it when she hugs him in greeting, which is why she refrains from doing so.

“It’s been so long since I last saw you.” the woman continues, “You’ve grown so much!”

“Uhm.” Tim feels his cheeks redden. He knows that’s a lie. He’s at least four inches shorter than Marita, same as the last time they saw each other.

Then the woman’s attention turns to Tim’s boyfriends. “And who are these two lovely young men?” she asks. Tim bites his bottom lip.

“I’m Brian.” the blonde introduces himself, “It’s a pleasure to meet you-”

“Marita.” the woman chimes in and then tightly hugs Brian, “The pleasure is all mine.”

Then she wraps her arms around a startled Alex. “And you are?” “My name’s Alex.” the brunette supplies, pink dusting his cheeks.

“Alex! What a fine name. Is that short for Alexander?” Marita gushes.

Before Tim’s boyfriend can answer, Janet Wright steps into the room and claps loudly to get everyone’s attention. “Would everyone please wash their hands so we can start with dinner.” Her voice is cold and commanding. Immediately everyone scrambles to do as they are told.

***

The dinner is awkward, to say the least. While Marita engages Tim, his boyfriends and Tim’s father in conversation to keep the mood up, Janet Wright sits silent and stiff at one end of the table, the aura about her so cold Tim shivers whenever he looks in her direction. His father is not much better. The middle aged man’s voice is clipped whenever he talks, his hard gaze on Brian the entire time. While the blonde does his best to hide his discomfort, Tim can see the stiffness in his shoulders and the tightness in his smiles.

The moment the last morsel of food has been eaten Tim’s mother breaks her silence. “What are your plans for the future, Alex and Brian?” Her words cut through the tense atmosphere like a knife and Tim flinches.

“I’m majoring in sports medicine and I’m on the football team. I’m planning on either pursuing a career as a professional football player or a sports physician. Preferably I’ll find a way to do both.” The smile on Brian’s face looks real and Tim can’t help but smile at the passion in his boyfriend’s words.

“I see.” There is a twinkle in Janet Wright’s eyes that Tim doesn’t see often. Approval. Then her attention focuses on Alex. “What about you?” she asks.

Alex nervously drums his finger on the table. “I’m going to become a movie director.” Despite his unsure body language, there’s confidence in the brunette’s voice.

Tim’s mother nods. “I wish you the best of luck, then.” she says, her face, once again, a mask of indifference.

Suddenly the doorbell rings. Marita gets up from her seat and starts clearing away the dishes and Tim’s mother goes to open the door, leaving the four men to sit in uncomfortable silence.

“Are you happy, Timothy.” his father suddenly asks.

Tim’s head snaps around to look at the middle aged man, eyes wide. That’s not a question he would have ever expected hearing from any of his parents. For a moment he can’t say anything, the shock rendering him mute. Then he nods. “Yes.” The word is barely above a whisper and his hands twitch with how nervous he is, but a small smile still manages to lift the corners of his lips.

Marcus Wright gives a curt nod. “Make sure nobody of importance finds out about your… relations.” he says.

There are sunflowers in Tim’s heart. This is the closest to approval he’ll ever get from his parents and it makes him happier than he ever could have imagined. It’s as though a heavy weight has been lifted off his shoulders and now he can breathe easier. “I will.” he assures the older man. For the fraction of a second his father looks like he might smile.

“So they were more than friends after all.” a smug voice interrupts their bonding moment and immediately all hints of emotion leave Marcus Wright’s face.

A chill runs down Tim’s spine and he can feel his alters pressing against his consciousness. Slowly he turns around to look to the dining room entrance. The sight that greets him causes his breath to get stuck in his lungs. Next to his mother, casually leaning against the door frame, is none other than uncle Erin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun DUNNN!


	45. 01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01001111 01110000 01100101 01110010 01100001 01110100 01101111 01110010

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3

It does not like controlling the body. The limbs are too restricting. The need to breathe is annoying. It much prefers lurking in the recesses of Timothy’s mind. It watches over him. It only takes over when it has to.

The evil man suddenly appearing is a reason to do so. It would not do for Timothy to have a panic attack in front of the monster. It would not do for the other to attack the monster. They need to keep their knowledge hidden. They need to keep their plan hidden.

Tim, it reminds itself. The main personality prefers to be called Tim.

The plan. Tim’s lips twitch up. It does not like how that feels. It does not have a mouth. To feel one on its face is uncomfortable. Foreign. But it can understand why the mouth smiled. It likes the plan. The lips expressed that sentiment.

It always takes a while until it gets used to the body. It is a lot more difficult to move when weighed down by flesh. If only it could exist without that burden. If only it could leave the body. If only it could walk free of all burdens.

Slowly it looks up to meet the monster’s eyes. The monster’s gaze sharpens. A knife. A stab to its abdomen. The pain caused by the monster is always present. Static just below the skin. It wants to open the body and let everything out. But it doesn’t. To open the body would hurt Tim. It swore to protect Tim.

“What’s wrong with you, Tim? Cat got your tongue?” The monster’s mouth is a rotten pit. Only vile things spew from the hated maw.

It tilts the head. The lips part. The tongue is a heavy piece of meat. It sticks to the floor of the mouth. Lids slowly blink.

“Haha. Tim’s probably shocked to see you, sir. After all, we were expecting to dine with only his parents. But it’s a pleasant surprise to see you again so soon.” the sun says. His lips are upturned. The sentiment is fake. It knows. It can always tell when the sun is lying. The muscles around the mouth don’t stretch quite right. The eyes are too cold.

The monster grunts in reply. The daggers are directed at the sun.

The sun keeps smiling. This annoys the monster. The eyes narrow. The lips twitch. But he does not say anything.

The monster’s eyes return to it. They stare at Tim’s body. The monster comes closer. “It’s been much too long, Timothy.” The monster leans down. The hands come closer.

It does not want the monster to touch it.

The hug is restricting. It stiffens. The hands want to claw at the monster. To tear him to shreds. It wants to bite and claw and destroy. It doesn’t. It endures. It remembers. It seethes. Like it always does.

“I know what you’ve been up to.” The monster’s voice is quiet. Almost a thought. Slithering its way into its consciousness. It cannot suppress the shiver. The hands tingle. ‘You do not know anything.’ it wants to say. The mouth does not cooperate.

The monster retreats. It breathes again. It did not notice that it stopped.

Concerned blue eyes are looking right at it. The sun. It tries to say something. Anything. The mouth opens. The tongue is heavy. It won’t move. The sun furrows his brow. He puts his hand on its shoulder. ‘You don’t need to say anything.’ the blue eyes say.

Tim’s lips twitch up. Grateful. The emotion is foreign. It does not know what to do with it. It files it away for later analysis.

“Timothy. Are you alright?” The father.

The sun looks at the father. Smiles. “Tim’s just tired. Uni’s been rough lately. Lots of tests. It’s probably best if we got going.” The sun gets up.

The tall one follows his example. “Yes. I have a big exam coming up, so I really need to get some sleep.”

The sun and the tall one look at it. It looks back. It nods. It gets up. The legs are heavy, but not foreign. It can stand. It can walk. It walks. Towards the door. Into freedom.

***

The car ride is silent. The tall one stares. It stares back. It knows Tim likes the tall one. It wonders why. It does not see any reason to like anyone but Tim and the other. Tim and the other will never leave. Everyone else will.

It tilts its head. Why does the tall one keep staring? It does not like it. It remembers. The eyes. Scorching marks into its skin. Relishing in its pain. The pain. It opens the mouth. Tries to talk again. The tongue moves. “Why… stare…”

The tall one blinks. “You’re not Tim. But you’re not Marty either. You’re the guy from Jemison Center.”

It slowly nods. Jemison Center is where they met the lonely one. She was a scared one. The hand shaking so badly. The safety still on. She did not want to shoot. She wanted to intimidate. It knew. Her eyes told everything.

It likes eyes. They tell a lot. They make communicating easier. Sometimes it laments not having eyes. But then it is glad. It does not want the others to see its pain. Not again. Never again. The only suffering it will see is the suffering of others. It will make sure of that. Not Tim’s though. It will protect Tim. “Make… suffer… protect… Tim…”

The words come unbidden. The tall one stares. It does not try to explain itself. It does not see the need to.

“I’m glad I’m not on your bad side…” the tall one mutters. It tilts its head. The mouth moves. The tongue cooperates. “No… bad… side. Only… Tim… other… everyone… else…”

The tall one’s jaw drops a fraction of an inch. The soft “Ah.” hangs in the air between them. Silence. It closes the eyes. The mind wanders. The first time it became aware. The pain the other was in. The fury builds. Familiar anger. It was born from it. It lives it. It controls it.

Control.

“I… control…” The words taste like freedom. A scratchy cackle falls from its mouth. “I… operate…” A sharp hiss passes between its lips, the corners grotesquely pulled back. “Operator…”

The word reverberates inside its skull. A name. Its name, it realizes. “I am the Operator.” it says, for the first time in its life speaking clearly using Tim’s mouth. For the first time in its life Tim’s body feels like home. “I will make them pay.” it vows. The Operator’s gaze meets the sun’s. “We’ll make them pay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 54 68 65 20 66 61 74 68 65 72 20 77 61 73 20 61 6c 72 65 61 64 79 20 64 65 61 64  
> C15


	46. 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very sorry for the long wait. About a week ago I was pretty much done with chapter 44, but then decided to scratch everything I'd already written. I realized that what happened in that chapter wasn't important enough to write it all out. It's gonna be mentioned in this and future chapters (or in my side notes) instead.
> 
> Now without further ado: enjoy!
> 
> Side note 18: Tim once owned a pet squirrel. After it died he couldn't bear to let go of it, so he buried it in the pot of his favourite white sunflower.

Maria Chase. She’s twenty nine years old, a lawyer and single. She owns a German shepherd called Buster and on weekends she can be found at seedy bars, flirting with whatever poor soul she comes across. The various men she picks up are usually never seen again.

When he looks at the woman’s picture a shudder travels down Tim’s back. She is hauntingly beautiful. Waves of light blonde hair frame her cute heart shaped face and her full red lips are upturned into a seductive smile. But the thing that disturbs him most is her eyes. They are the coldest ice blue, surrounded by long, dark, knife like lashes. Though he doesn’t remember, he knows he has seen those eyes before. Knows those eyes have watched him cry.

With a deep steadying breath he gives the file back to Brian. “What about Dunn?” he asks, “Isn’t he above her in the list?”

“Yeah.” the blonde shrugs, “But the Operator said he wants him to himself.”

Tim’s eyes narrow. “And you’re okay with that?”

Brian hums noncommittally. “I’ve found I like watching just as much as doing it myself.” is all he says. Then he gives the file on Maria Chase one last look before putting it back into the secret compartment in his coffee table.

Tim thinks of cold blue eyes again. Chase’s eyes are so similar and yet so different to Brian’s. The eyes of a predator, he realizes. He bites his bottom lip. His fingers twitch. The ghosts of sharp fingernails trails down his spine and painfully digs into his skin. Distantly he hears cruel laughter.

A hand touches his. “Breathe.” Tim didn’t notice he stopped. He takes a deep gulp of air, trying to calm his fluttering heart and regaining control over his twitching limbs. “I’m sorry.” he mutters.

“Don’t be.” Soft lips press against his cheek. It’s scratchy. Tim’s face feels hot. He needs to shave. With a sigh he leans against Brian. “I’m so pathetic.”

The blonde’s fingers tickle the back of his neck. His boyfriend is warm. Tim relaxes against him and closes his eyes. “You’re mine.” Brian tightly grips his neck for a second before he goes back to softly petting him.

“Mhm.” Tim agrees.

The smile he sees blooming on Brian’s face out of the corner of his eye is positively radiant. In Tim’s stomach sunflowers flutter like crazy. To think that he is the reason the blonde looks so happy. It’s euphoria.

“Now.” Brian interrupts his train of thought, “Maria Chase. I think we should go about this similarly to how I hooked Walters. I’ll go to one of the bars she frequents and just pick her up.”

Tim’s mood immediately plummets. “That’s dangerous...” he mutters, “What if she picks you up instead?”

That fear is not unfounded. There is definitely something fishy going on with Chase. Tim is certain that something bad happened to the men that accompanied her. He shudders to think what she could do to Brian.

His boyfriend kisses his cheek and grins wolfishly. “Don’t worry Tim. I have the advantage. I know what she’s up to. She’s completely in the dark.”

A sigh escapes Tim’s lips. “If you say so... Just- Be careful.” He wraps his arms around Brian’s waist and gently pushes him back into the sofa. He lays his head atop his boyfriend’s chest and just listens. Hearing Brian’s strong, steady heartbeat fills him with confidence. Tim feels a hand in his hair, softly massaging his skull. He smiles.

***

Tim meets Sarah at the library. It isn’t an intentional meeting, at least not on his part. She’s just there, standing next to a tree, a grumpy frown on her face, staring at her phone. He was going to find a book he needs for one of his lectures, but seeing her stops him in his tracks. He walks up to the woman.

Clearing his throat he tries to get her attention. Her gaze, as it focuses on him, is angry. “I- uhm... Are you okay?” Tim’s fingers twitch uncomfortably.

Sarah heaves a sigh. “No, actually. I’m not okay.” She stuffs her phone into the pocket of her red jacket and then runs her fingers through her hair, obviously frustrated.

Tim’s brows furrow and he starts chewing his bottom lip. “Can I… help you?” he asks awkwardly. The finger s of his right hand pick at the cuticles of his left. Last time he needed help, Sarah was there for him, so it’s only natural to return the favour.

A small smile flits across Sarah’s face. “Have lunch with me?”

Tim nods. “I’ll just tell Brian and Alex and then we can go.” He sends his boyfriends a short text. Then they start walking in the direction of the parking lot Sarah parked her car at.

***

Sarah chooses a small diner for them to have lunch at. There are barely any customers and the ambience is cosy and friendly. Tim almost sighs in relieve at that. He’s not sure he’d be able to deal with a big crowd right now. They sit across from each other and a waitress brings them their menus. Sarah doesn’t open hers, instead fiddling with the binding.

Tim’s fingers twitch and he hides them under the table. He shuffles in his seat. “So... uhm... do you wanna talk about it?” he asks, scratching at his left wrist.

With a sudden loud bang Sarah opens her menu and starts forcefully flipping through it. Tim can’t help flinching at the loud noise. His scratching becomes more ferocious. The silence between them is only broken by the flutter of pages almost being torn apart.

Clearing his throat Tim tries to break the tension building between them. Sarah’s eyes leave the menu and meet his. She sighs. “I’m sorry. It’s not your fault.” Her finger starts tracing the letters on the paper beneath her hand.

Tim nods and avoids eye contact, instead focussing on the slow movement of her digit. It stops. She heaves another sigh. This time it’s longer and more drawn out. “Do you remember why I initially followed you around?”

The question comes out of nowhere and it takes Tim a minute before he can answer. “Seth’s dad, right? Something about him not wanting Seth to be friends with Brian and Alex?” The memory is a little sluggish, buried beneath the revelations and stress of the past weeks.

Before Sarah can confirm or deny his assumption, the waitress appears at their table, asking for their orders. Not having looked at the menu, Tim helplessly turns to Sarah. With a little smile she orders them both sodas and some kind of salad.

Once the waitress is out of earshot, the menus clutched in one hand, Sarah speaks: “Yeah. He wanted me to scare them off so they don’t turn his precious son gay.” At Tim’s disbelieving gaze she snickers. “I know it doesn’t work that way, but that man can’t be reasoned with.” her expression falls again, “And that’s the problem. I got this text about an hour ago.” Sarah unlocks her phone, selects something and then hands it to Tim.

Staring back at him is a text message from Seth. _> Father cancelled our engagement. He’s already started trying to set me up with some other woman ):<_ It was received 57 minutes ago. Sarah has yet to reply. 

A lump forming in his throat he returns the device to its owner. He knows how important Seth and Sarah are to each other. How much they’d been looking forward to marrying. Sarah was, after all, willing to go so far as to threaten their lives to keep it from being cancelled. And now this.

Just imagining being forced to part with Brian or Alex makes him sick to his stomach. Tim has to do something about this. An ironic smile twists his lips as his first thought is murder. ‘Not everything can be solved with violence.’ he reminds himself, ‘And it’d draw a lot of attention if some big shot CEO suddenly vanished. So that’s a no go.’

“I’m sure Seth already talked to Brian, but I can ask him for help too. He always knows what to do.” Tim offers. He’s not really good at making plans, but he can at least do this.

To his surprise Sarah shakes her head. “I don’t want to involve Brian in this. Mr. Wilson would expect him to interfere. Also, his plans tend to be kinda extreme.” The woman starts playing with a strand of her hair, twisting it between her fingers and coiling and uncoiling it around the digits.

Tim nods his understanding. While he can’t imagine Brian’s plans ever going wrong, if Sarah doesn’t want the blonde’s involvement, he’s going to honour her request.

Tim is about to open his mouth to tell Sarah he’ll do anything to help her, when his soda is placed in front of him. He thanks the waitress and earns himself a smile and a wink for his efforts. His eyes widening, Tim immediately turns his full attention to the soda, taking a small sip.

As soon as the waitress is gone he relaxes. “I’ll think of something. And if you have a plan I’ll do whatever it takes to support you.” he proclaims and glances at Sarah.

The raven haired woman grins at him. She reaches over the table and sticks out her pinkie finger. “You have my back, I have yours. It’s a promise.” Tim blinks. Then his lips tug up. He wraps his pinkie around hers. “It’s a promise.”

For the rest of their lunch they amicably chat about this and that. Mostly about University. Though some heavier topics, like their families, come up as well. After they finish their, admittedly delicious and surprisingly nutritious, salads they pay and leave.

“Really. I could have paid for myself.” Tim grumbles, watching Sarah unlock her car.

The woman giggles. “I know. But after I dumped my problems on you it’s only fair I take the bill.”

With a sigh Tim gets in the car. “Next time I pay.” he mutters and fastens his seatbelt.

A soft hand touches his arm. He turns to look at Sarah, who has a happy smile on her face. “Thank you.” she says, her voice so genuine it almost chokes him up, “I’ve really been needing a friend.”

A friend. A happy warmth spreads throughout his body and he can barely keep from grinning like an idiot. This is the first time anyone has ever called him their friend. “Me too.” he says, brushing her knuckles with the tips of his fingers.

Sarah pulls back her arm and starts the car. As they are peeling out of the parking lot, Tim’s phone vibrates to indicate he received a text. He pulls the device from his jeans pocket and looks at it. His stomach plummets and a fearful sweat breaks out all over his body. The screen displays a message from Alex: _> We need to talk<_


	47. 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 45. Enjoy! :3
> 
> Side Note 19: Seth's mother is highly intelligent and in many ways similar to Brian, which is why she likes him so much. She's the one who taught Seth and Brian how to find out pretty much anything about pretty much anyone on the computer.

Sarah drops Tim off in front of Bryant Hall. Alex is already standing by the entrance. The expression on the brunet’s face is closed off, distant. When he spots Tim a small smile lifts the corners of his mouth. “Hey.” Alex greets, “Let’s go somewhere private.” Certain that he wouldn’t be able to force any words past his lips Tim just nods and follows the taller man inside.

Alex’s dorm is empty. A pair of slippers lies messily in the middle of the living room, too small in size to be his boyfriend’s. Tim is hit with the realization that he’s never seen Alex’s dorm mates. Judging by the slippers one of them has to be pretty short, maybe even shorter than Tim. That brings a grin to his face. Not many men are shorter than him.

At Alex’s behest Tim sits on the couch. Shortly after his boyfriend settles down next to him, holding two glasses of water. When he hands one to him, their fingers brush. His skin tingles where they touch. Tim drinks a sip. Alex on the other hand gulps down the entirety of his own water and then sets his glass on the coffee table with a loud clink.

Tim watches him. Alex avoids eye contact. The brunet’s feet nervously shuffle and his brows furrow. Then he abruptly turns to Tim, his gaze so intense Tim almost recoils. He opts to hide behind the glass instead, taking a few more sips.

For a few seconds that feel like an eternity they stay like that. Then: “I still love Brian.”

Tim slowly lowers the glass and sets it on the table. That’s not what he was expecting their talk to be about.”So do I?” It’s more a question than anything. Tim’s not really sure why Alex would bring that up or, more importantly, why he would look so troubled admitting that.

Alex sighs deeply. “I just… I’m not sure if it’s okay for me to feel that way. Am I an idiot for still liking him after everything he’s put me through? Does it make me a bad person that I’m willing to kill for a guy who doesn’t even care about me?”

Tim gently puts his hand on Alex’s shoulder. The brunet leans into the touch, but the expression on his face remains pained. Tim mulls over Alex’s questions. What if he were in his place? How would he feel? He can’t imagine a world in which he doesn’t love Brian, that’s for sure.

“I don’t know and, to be honest, I don’t care either. I just know you and Brian are important to me. I want to be with you, no matter what.” he takes Alex’s hand into his, “And if that makes me the bad guy, then that’s okay. I don’t think I was a good person to begin with anyway.”

Tim grins mirthfully, his gaze meeting Alex’s. The taller man nods. Then he leans against Tim’s shoulder. “I don’t know what to do. On one hand I want to kiss Brian, but on the other I want to punch him in the face.” he mutters into the fabric of Tim’s shirt.

A quiet chuckle falls from Tim’s lips. “Why not do both?”

At that suggestion Alex smiles a small smile. “Yeah,” he whispers, “I could do that. But first I wanna kiss you.” After uttering that, Alex straightens up a little and leans in to connect their lips. Tim’s hand finds the back of the other’s skull to tug him closer, the sunflower petals in his stomach going haywire.

Strong fingers grip his hips and pull him onto Alex’s lap. Heat surges through his body as he presses the taller man into the couch, his teeth finding his boyfriend’s neck to bite and suck hickeys into it. “I love you.” he breathes into the wet flesh.

“I love you too.” Alex returns the sentiment and arches his body up into Tim’s, his fingernails digging into Tim’s back. Their lips reconnect and Tim closes his eyes.

***

Tim is laying on the couch in Alex’s dorm. His boyfriend’s head is nestled atop his chest. He’s running his fingers through the brunet’s hair, eyes half lidded, and humming random melodies. Alex’s breathing is soft and slow, almost like he’s asleep, long fingers drawing random shapes on Tim’s chest the only thing revealing his conscious state.

Warmth seeps from Alex’s body into Tim’s, the other man’s breath fanning across his bare skin. “You know.” Alex mutters suddenly, his fingernails gently scraping across Tim’s ribs, “It’s probably for the best that Brian told me the truth. I probably would have continued to blindly follow him if he hadn’t.”

Tim hums in reply, twisting a lock of brown hair around his finger. “You did go against him a few times before.”

Alex sits up and looks at him, a frown on his face. “Maybe... but I never questioned him. All my life there was always someone I followed. Mostly Brian.” the man chuckles mirthfully and lies back down on Tim’s chest, resuming drawing patterns on his side, “To break up with Brian was the first major decision I made on my own.”

Tim’s not sure how to respond to that. On one hand he’s happy for Alex, but on the other he’d much rather he and Brian be together again. In the end he decides to remain silent.

“I’m going to leave the football team.” Alex suddenly pipes up, “I only ever played to be close to Brian anyway.”

Tim’s brows furrow. “I still haven’t really watched you play. Only got to see the tail end of your practice once. I’d like to watch you play in an actual game before you quit, if that’s okay with you.”

A quiet chuckle comes from Alex’s direction. “Okay.” the taller of the two says, “I can do that. But only if you let me listen to your music. Brian hoards that flash drive you gave him for your anniversary like he’s Gollum and it’s the ring or something.”

Tim feels his cheeks grow hot. Brian is that protective of his present? The thought makes him incredibly happy. There’s a joyous flutter of sunflowers in his chest and his lips are stretched into a tiny grin. He takes a deep breath and, instead of answering, starts to sing.

Since he can’t really think of a song, he utters a series of nonsense words in a repetitive melody. There’s not much thought behind it, but Alex seems to like his efforts, quietly humming along. Soon the taller man starts to snore softly.

Tim’s singing tapers off. He starts to listen to Alex’s deep, even breaths and the ticking of the clock. Sleep is pulling at the back of Tim’s mind and for the first time in a long time he feels it might even be a good rest. His lids fall shut and he’s giving in to slumber, a warm calm spreading through his body.

Suddenly the door bursts open.

He startles, a curse on his lips, almost throwing Alex off as he sits up. His eyes fixate onto the intruder, who turns out to be Seth. Alex grumbles at being rudely awakened. “What do you want?” he snaps in Seth’s direction, “And how did you get in here? The door was locked.”

A grin stretches Seth’s lips. “I have my ways.” he says, cocking his hips and sinking his right hand into his jeans pocket. He’s probably trying to project and air of confident smugness, but it falls short. His trembling bottom lip and constant wiping of his free hand on his pants betrays his nervousness.

“Of course you do.” Tim mutters and rolls his eyes, “Why are you here?”

Seth chuckles weakly. “Well. Funny thing that. Brian says you have to, and I quote, ‘get your cute butt in gear and come to the bunker. Quote me on that.’ He looked kinda pissed.”

Alex sits up between Tim’s legs, the thin throw blanket they were using to stave off the cold pooling around his hips. “Whom does he want?” he asks, arms crossed in front of his chest, expression cold.

Seth shrugs and wipes his hands on his pants again. “I don’t know. He just said to tell ‘my boyfriend’.” He makes air quotes around the last two words.

For a moment Tim is confused. Since Alex broke up with Brian the only one he could have meant by that is Tim. But then he realizes that they weren’t exactly parading their relationship status around, so there’s a high chance Seth doesn’t know that they aren’t together anymore.

Tim’s eyes meet Alex’s and the taller man shrugs. “Let’s both go then.” he declares, one of his hand’s finding Tim’s and squeezing as if to say ‘I’m not going to let you deal with angry Brian alone.’

“Yeah.” Tim agrees, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Then Alex’s attention suddenly shifts to Seth again. “We’ll have to get dressed first, though.” His raised eyebrow makes it clear that he’s asking the man for privacy. Seth nods, but doesn’t leave. Only when Alex clears his throat and the second brow joins its brother high on his forehead, does Seth get the hint. The poor man’s face turns beet red and he splutters an apology before running out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Alex pecks Tim on the lips before getting up. “Let’s get dressed and then see what Brian wants.” he sighs and starts slipping on his clothes.

“Yeah. Let’s.” Tim agrees and starts hunting for his own garments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this fic is nearing its end and I was hit by inspiration, hard, a little while ago, I've already started writing my next multi chapter project. I won't post the first chapter of that until I'm done with this fic though. If, however, you want me to give you a small teaser, do tell me. (and yes. I am open to suggestions, since that new fic is not yet planned out like Sunflowers is.)


	48. Hiatus

I have a confession to make: I don't like my own writing. Not really. Whenever I proofread my things I usually feel like it's nowhere near good enough. I feel like nobody is going to like it anyway, so why even bother.

Lately I've been feeling this more strongly. Mostly because (and let me prefice this: it's not your fault, but mine. You don't have to reassure my self doubting butt. It's up to me to get over myself) these days it's felt like I'm just throwing these chapters into a void. (And yes. S comments on every chapter, but the thing is: S is my best friend and while logically I know that he'd not say that he likes my writing if he didn't, I can't help but feel that our friendship is the only reason he doesn't hate it).

The thing is: this self doubt has completely destroyed my motivation to write, well, anything. I haven't written a single word in four days and I haven't written anything for Sunflowers since my last upload. And even before that, I just haven't put as much effort into writing as I should have. I usually research locations and whether something would work or not, but these last few chapters I haven't done that. The best example for that is when Tim and Sarah eat out together. Usually I'd look up restaurants, choose one and then look up the menu and see whether there are pictures of the location online so I can better describe it. I haven't done that. I just pulled a random restaurant that probably doesn't exist out of my ass. And I don't like it.

But the worst thing is that I've lost motivation to comment myself and it's making me feel so guilty. There are several fics I love and the authors of said fics deserve to know that I love them (I'm not throwing shade here. I get why some people don't like commenting. I used to be a lurker for many many years. And whether you feel a fic is good enough for you to spare the time to leave a comment is entirely up to you).

This is why I am going to put this fic on indefinte hiatus. I have every intention to finish it, don't you worry, but I need to take a break and get my motivation up again. I know I sound whiny and I know I shouldn't rely on other people's opinion when it comes to my art, but I can't help how I feel and I don't want to write a half assed ending. I want to do this properly and as I am right now I am incapable of doing that.

I am sorry.


End file.
